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Steve & Jimmy
It's fair to say that we've been preparing to be parents our whole lives, and we're honored that you're considering us! Since we first met, we knew we wanted to adopt - but our former lives overseas as Navy officers made that challenging! Now that we're civilians, we're finally ready (and ecstatic) to start this journey together with you!
How We Met
We met under very non-traditional circumstances in 2012. We were both active duty in the Navy and stationed in Japan when we met - Steve as a pilot, Jimmy as a ship driver. After meeting briefly in Yokosuka we lost touch for a couple of months. However, through some crafty private investigator work, Steve was able to contact Jimmy using the Navy's shipboard email system - thus beginning a one-of-a-kind, long distance romance between two ships in the Pacific Ocean!
After several months of email dating, Jimmy moved to Florida on a new set of orders and deployed to the Persian Gulf. Steve received a new set of orders to California. Though it took almost three years of very long distance (8,000 miles!) digital courtship, Jimmy finally moved in with Steve upon receiving his final set of orders to the same duty station. We've been living together ever since, and tied the knot in 2016 at an intimate rooftop wedding in San Diego.
Our Dogs, Tanuki & Kaiju
We are so lucky to have two AMAZING dogs! We jokingly tell new acquaintances that it is California state law that two men must adopt a dog within 30 days of moving in together, but that's exactly what we did. After several trips to the shelter, we were introduced to two small dogs that we hadn't initially considered. But, the volunteer at the shelter insisted we meet them because she was sure we'd fall in love. And we did - one day later, our new dog babies were safe in their new home!
Since we met in Japan we felt it appropriate to give them Japanese names. Our Pomeranian is Tanuki, a Japanese raccoon who's quite popular in folklore. Our Boston Terrier mix is Kaiju, which means "giant terrifying monster" in Japanese. We gave him this name as a loving joke because he's the nicest and most cuddly dog on the planet. Our dogs are great with kids, including our nieces and nephews (though that may be because they love stealing their waffles during family breakfast time). They enjoy spending time at the dog park two blocks from our house, which is conveniently right next to the playground. Kaiju and Tanuki especially love getting pets (and scratches and tugs) from the neighborhood kids!
Every child develops differently so, we have not pinned down an exact age or moment when we plan to discuss adoption with our future child. Rather, the discussion will happen organically over many moments, openly and with age-appropriate language and techniques (i.e. for toddler years, using story books that portray diverse/adoptive families and pointing out “That’s just like you!”; for school age years, answering questions directly and honestly with thoughtful language; at all times, being forthright about appropriate and known information regarding you and your adoption decision). In other words, it’s not a “big reveal” type of conversation; it’s a million beautiful little conversations that happen throughout life. We recognize that as the child of two dads, your child is going to understand pretty quickly that he or she is different than the other kids. For this reason, we will make sure they recognizes that their uniqueness is their biggest strength.
Our Extended Families
We both come from smaller families. Steve is one of two. He grew up in a beautiful coastal suburb of San Diego, CA, where his family still lives. Steve's older sister now resides in Los Angeles and is a writer for some great comedies you may have seen on TV! Jimmy is the youngest of four. He grew up in a small town on the Jersey Shore, about an hour from New York City. Most of his family still lives there, but his oldest brother lives in Westchester County, New York (and no, he's not related to Snooki OR Pauly D).
We're uncles to two nephews and three nieces that are all under the age of seven, so we're excited for this child to be brought up with a great group of cousins who absolutely LIVE for visits to the beach and activities galore. Though our families are split across the US, you can expect us to do the cooking no matter who we're visiting - it's the activity that brings us all close together! We like to alternate between coasts for Thanksgiving and the Holidays to make sure we spend time with both of our extended families and keep things balanced. Our Moms are going to be so excited to have another grandchild to smother with their love!
Our House and Neighborhood
When we made the decision to move to Florida, about a year ago, the neighborhood was definitely one of the primary factors that influenced our decision. Our neighborhood is beautiful and filled with historic craftsman bungalows, including the one we now call our home. We are zoned to the best public-school district in the county, and one of the best in the state of Florida, and can't wait to start getting involved in school activities as a new way to engage with our community.
Every year in January, our city hosts a pirate-themed parade and festival. We're fortunate to live within walking distance of the parade route, and we can't wait to share in the arr-worthy festivities with a child by our side! We live two blocks away from a great playground and dog park that is always filled with the neighborhood kids and pups, and we're there almost every day with our own two dogs.
We own a two bedroom, two bathroom home that is cozy and perfect for our small, growing family. The best part of our home is the front porch, which has a lovely porch swing that's perfect for afternoon naps and greeting neighbors as they pass. We take a ton of pride in our home and we work fastidiously to make it one of the most attractive and welcoming in the neighborhood!
From Us to You
We feel so fortunate that you've taken an extra moment to keep reading our profile. Hopefully what you've read so far communicates that we're a super open, caring and hard-working couple and we've always dreamed of having kids. The fact that we can't have a child biologically doesn't in any way diminish our fierce commitment to being the best parents we can be.
We have been together for more than eight years, and we celebrated our four-year wedding anniversary in May! We have a completely committed relationship and we're each other’s biggest fans and supporters. We don't go into decisions individually, we always communicate regardless of how trivial or enormous a situation may be. It hasn't been a perfect life for either of us, and we've had our fair share of challenges, setbacks, and sadness. But through it all, we forge ahead, optimistic that our hard work and commitment to being good people will present us with bigger and better opportunities and a richer, more vibrant life.
We have no assumptions or preconceptions about you or the position you're in. We're open to many adoption opportunities because we believe that no one child's life is more or less valuable than another's. Every child deserves a loving home, and we're prepared to extend that to a child in need. We definitely understand that you're making a very difficult, brave and loving decision. We're prepared and enthusiastic to be adoptive parents, and we recognize that a huge part of that responsibility is having a healthy relationship with you. We of course intend to provide letters and pictures to you (because let's face it, we're going to be very proud parents!), but we also intend to do much more to keep a healthy line of communication between you and your child. We're open to phone calls, video calls, email, social media and even future visits if that's what you want. With healthy communication as a guiding light, we're open and happy to accommodate your wishes and desire to remain part of this child's life.
It's tough for anyone to convey their personalities in an online profile, but we've given it our best shot. We're sure that if you give us a chance, you'll see that we're genuinely committed to this adoption with every fiber of our being. And hopefully you'll be able to trust that we'll be undergoing this life event with you, sensitive to your concerns throughout the whole process. We're not the kind of people who only put in 50% effort to something we're passionate about. We want to be good parents, and we want to raise a great child, and we're sincerely hoping that you're willing to come along with us for the ride.
We often have conversations about what it looks like to "have it all". These conversations have lead us to pursue new jobs, leave old jobs, grieve loss, move to the other side of the world, go back to school, and everything in between. But, whenever we think about what part of our lives will bring us the most fulfillment, it's being parents to a bright, happy, loving child (or children!). It's what we've both been planning for, and working for, our whole lives. We're so excited that you’re considering being a part of that experience with us!
Sincerely, thank you!
Steve & Jimmy
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