Being parents means being the prominent guiding hand in your child's life. It means protecting them to the best of your abilities, doing everything you can to make sure they're healthy, and providing a safe space in which they can grow and figure out their place in the world. It also means playing with them when they're happy, learning with them when your own knowledge comes up short, and being a comforting respite when they get hurt.

We expect that the parts we'll like most will be the small moments that bind childhood memories together, making pancakes on Saturday mornings or walking them home after school and asking them about their day. Watching a child develop a personality of their own, and knowing we've given them the environment to become their own person.

We plan on being open with our child from the beginning about the fact that they were adopted. We want to make it clear that adoption doesn’t mean they were unloved or unwanted, but that the home of their birth parents was not the right fit for them, so we were given the opportunity to include them in our family. We think it’s important to answer any questions they have about their adoption to the best of our abilities, as their curiosities arise. Two of Alex’s college roommates were adopted brothers and have been excellent at giving firsthand accounts of how important it is to explain adoption to a child at an age-appropriate level and to revisit those conversations throughout their life as they mature and develop new questions and emotions.

We both share an appreciation for the importance of education. With several teachers and child-care providers in our families, we recognize how much of a difference a good education can make in a child’s life.

This became a critical component in choosing where we wanted to raise a family. When finding a home, we made certain that the neighborhood was not only safe and friendly but included schools with plenty of resources for a child to thrive. We live within walking distance of our highly rated public elementary school where we intend to send our child. We both graduated from college and hope to manage our finances such that college will be an option for a child if that is the right path for them.

We also hope to supplement our child’s formal education by acting as good role models at home. We both want to pass along the compassion, empathy, and respect our parents taught to us. We feel that these life lessons are best taught by example.

We share in many of the same hobbies. As active individuals, we enjoy going for walks, hikes, and runs together in our neighborhood and the surrounding natural areas. We also enjoy kayaking on our local rivers and lakes in the summer. We’re both musicians as well—with Robby on the piano and Alex on the guitar—and frequently spend an hour or two learning new songs or jamming out to old favorites. Lastly, both of us love to cook. Some of the best nights in are spent trying out a few recipes we haven’t made before.

We also enjoy several hobbies individually. Alex is a woodworker, first taught by his grandfather when he was a child. He now has a woodshop in the garage where he works on home improvement projects and gifts for family and friends. Alex would love to pass along this hobby to a child at the appropriate age, if they are interested. Robby is an avid writer and has self-published two novels. He loves spending the quiet morning hours writing about fantastic worlds and characters in pursuit of this hobby. Robby’s creative mind will lend itself well to playtime with a child. All of these are hobbies that we can’t wait to share with a child, as we believe that the quality time spent sharing in these activities is what has helped form our strong relationship.

We come from very close-knit families who love spending time together. Whether it’s for birthdays, holidays, or no reason at all, we take every opportunity to gather with our loved ones.

Robby’s parents and older sister live an hour away. They’re avid miniature golf fans and, though they’re not quite professionals, they always have a blast making their way through the golf course. Board games are also a favorite activity, particularly Clue and Scrabble. When they’re not playing games, they can often be found cooking. Both sides of Robby’s family are large and love food. Around the holidays, his Filipino side of the family will make traditional dishes like lumpia and caldereta. Similarly, his other side of the family will make Portuguese sweet bread, and Polish pierogis.

Alex’s parents and older brother live about an hour and a half away. Alex’s brother has two young daughters, who add a lot of creative energy to the mix. They love to go on hikes along the coast, and vacation together at their family cabin near Yosemite National Park. Although, they’re mostly just hanging out in someone’s backyard for a barbecue, sharing a laugh. Alex’s extended family is also quite large, with a rich Irish heritage. Family parties aren’t complete without a round of folksongs led by Alex’s grandfather who used to be a wedding singer. Both extended families are truly excited for our adoption plan and can’t wait for us to welcome a child into our home.

California - We live in a spacious three- bedroom, two-bathroom house in California that has a large, grassy backyard with a tree swing and a hammock. The backyard is one of our favorite places to spend time, whether that be reading in the summer evenings or hosting get-togethers with friends and family.

Our home is part of a friendly community with so many amenities close by. In addition to several playgrounds, we're within walking distance of the city's largest park, which houses the zoo and two themed entertainment parks aimed at young children. We both enjoy running in the morning for exercise, and a run through the park is the perfect start to any day.

We're also about a quarter mile from the elementary school, which means there are always lots of children in the neighborhood. Our neighbors across the street have two young kids while another family we know down the street just gave birth to their third child. You can see many young families with children out pushing strollers or riding their bikes on warm evenings.

When finding our home, these were all very important aspects to us because we knew this was where we wanted to raise our family. The proximity to the schools, kid- friendly activities, and a safe community make this a great place for a child to grow up!

Dear Birth Mother or Parents,

Thank you for taking the time to get to know us! We understand that this is an incredibly complicated time in your life. Both choosing to parent or choosing an adoption plan for your baby are selfless acts that require a lot of thought and love. We hope that throughout your journey, you are receiving the support you need.

Our names are Alex and Robby. We met in 2011, during our first year of college and have been married since 2018. From early on in our relationship, we knew we wanted to be parents. We are lucky to have a good life, but we know it will always feel incomplete without a family of our own. As a gay couple, we cannot make this dream a reality without the selfless actions of another. We can’t wait to welcome a child into our home, to watch them grow and develop a personality of their own. We look forward to being a guiding hand in their life, to love and nurture them and teach them what we can about the world.

Both of us come from large but close-knit families who couldn’t be more supportive of our decision to adopt. Most family members live within an hour and a half drive, and get together frequently to celebrate birthdays, holidays, and other special events. Alex’s brother has two young girls, and Robby’s sister intends to start a family soon, while many of our close friends are currently having children of their own. Seeing their families grow and spending time with their kids has only affirmed our desire to adopt. Needless to say, our child will have plenty of cousins and friends to play with!

We live in a quiet suburb in California. Our neighborhood is filled with parks, schools, and plenty of fun activities for kids, including our local zoo, which is less than a mile away. As an active couple, we enjoy hiking in the Sierra foothills and bicycling along the nearby rivers. When we’re not exploring the outdoors, we love nothing more than cooking a meal together before watching a movie or playing some music (with Robby on piano and Alex on guitar). All of which we can’t wait to share with a little one. Our hope is to expose our child to as many things as we can, so they can figure out what gives them that spark of excitement.

We realize that deciding to make an adoption plan for your child is a difficult decision, and that there are hundreds of families out there to choose from, but we thank you for taking the time to get to know us. Our goal is to provide a loving and healthy household for a child and to be the best parents that we can be. We cannot promise a perfect life without obstacles, but we can promise to be there for them through all of life’s difficulties.

We intend to keep you involved in your child’s life through letters and pictures and would be open to further communication, if desired. The adoption journey is a shared, lifelong experience connected by one beautiful child.

Know that no matter what your decision, we wish you comfort and peace.

Love,

Alex & Robby