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“What does adoption mean to a child?”

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Sara's Adoption Story

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

I had just turned 21, had a three-year-old son, and was going through a divorce along with fighting constantly about custody of Ethan with my husband. Just as I thought this was the biggest thing I would ever go through in my life, I found out I was pregnant. Now, I have always been against abortion, until I was put into this position. I wanted to make it all go away, forget about it and never look back. In fact, for the first 6 months of my pregnancy I acted like I wasn't pregnant. I carried on with my life not facing up to the decisions I was about to have to make. No one knew, not even my mom and not even my best friend of 9 years. I was too far along and was not going to kill a baby and have to deliver it that way. I decided to look into adoption.

Things finally started to turn around once I called American Adoptions. I told them my situation and immediately after my conversation I felt better. I knew everything ahead of me was going to be hard and indeed it was.

Mom was screaming at me, about money and bills, how she couldn't afford for me to stay there and I just broke out and said, "I'm going to be out of here in two weeks." "How?" she said, "You have no job, no money, how are you going to leave?" My reply broke her heart and I could see it in her eyes. "I'm pregnant, I'm placing the baby up for adoption and they’re going to help me get a place." It was a really stressful day but things continuously got better. Within two days I was sent the information from the agency, filled out the paperwork, and sat down with my mom and looked at the profiles. I picked out three and my first pick I felt so strong about. So strong that I had written a letter to them a couple days later. When I told the agency my pick, they told me that we didn't "Match" because of my needs. My second pick was Rich and Linda.

This is where the title of my story comes about.

"Everything happens for a reason."

I couldn’t even begin to explain to you the love I felt for them and the immediate bond we all made through just one single phone call. They were real people, just like me. All they wanted was a family, and I was going to give them that. They flew down and got to go to my sonogram. Me, my mom, and Rich and Linda were all excited to meet each other and to find out the sex of this precious baby that had brought us all together. He held her so close to him, and you could see the awesome amount of love they had for each other. I started to think about what they had already gone through with the struggles of infertility, and that I was going to give them the best gift in the world. As the words were spoken, "It’s a boy." I saw the tears falling from their eyes. Rich kissed her head and I just smiled. All the way home Rich was telling me about how he would teach him to play ball, ride a bike, take him sailing, and go to Mets games. They were so excited! It was perfect. Their four-year-old daughter would have a baby brother to help raise and play with. We were all just plain perfect for each other. The next couple months flew by. I called Linda after every doctor’s appointment. It was great. I always looked forward to having the next conversation with her again.

The day had finally come, I had been scheduled to be induced and Rich and Linda flew back down to Florida. Baby Noah was born at 1:52pm on Thursday, July 31st. I felt kind of like a surrogate mother. I let them have the experience as close to the same as I could of giving birth to a son of their own. We spent the next forty-eight hours with mostly Rich and Linda caring for Noah during the day. At night I slept with him so close to me and told him how much I loved him. When I held him, it felt like time stopped but yet the hands of the clock were spinning so fast. When it was time to do what I knew would be the hardest, I took a deep breath and kissed him while he was still mine. I asked Rich and Linda to stay in the room along with my best friend. To say the least, they gave me strength. I signed the papers and we all packed up. -Baby Noah in the safety of Rich’s arms and car seat, and Linda with the baby’s bags. With Dixie, the attorney, and the nurse from the hospital, we walked towards the elevator. Linda grabbed my hand, letting me know once more, without saying a word, that she was so grateful for him. We took one last picture with the four of us. Noah was put in the car, and I told them congratulations and I kissed him goodbye and told him again that I loved him so much. That was followed by two huge, tear filled hugs from them. She was just saying over and over again, “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I didn’t want to drag it out. I told them to hurry up and go, so that’s what they did. I waved goodbye and that was that. The only way for me to get through my sorrow was to see their joy. And still today it gets me through. If you can find comfort and peace with your decision, you’ll not only get a second chance to life but your baby will too. Not to mention, giving two wonderful people the greatest gift one could ever give. Adoption can be a wonderful, positive experience. Mine was, especially with being able to have the people involved that I did. I want to thank them so here it goes: Everyone at American Adoptions (especially Kelly) My mom, my best friend Dixie as well as her mom too. I can’t forget Lona F. and Christy H. Thank God for bringing us all together. And last but defiantly not least, the awesome family I helped complete- Rich, Linda, Carly, and Noah.

Noah Reynold- 6lbs. 6oz. 19 ¾ in. July 31st, 2003

I would love to talk to other birthmothers. Please contact me through the agency at 1-800-ADOPTION. I am also trying to get a support group for birth mothers started in my area. Please contact me through the agency if you are interested in joining.

-Sara

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Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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