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“What does adoption mean to a child?”

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Tiffeny's Adoption Story

 

It has almost been a year since my adoption journey began. I contacted American Adoptions in January of 2003. I was five months pregnant with my second child and abortion was not an option.

 

I discovered I was pregnant when my daughter was just four and a half months old. So of course I was shocked and unhappy. I was not working at the time and depended on the father who was working for commission. We were behind on our rent and utilities; at one point our gas was shut off. We were even scrounging for food.

 

A month later I finally found work and the father moved to a bigger city in order to make our lives better. Within a month we were separated. I told him I could not raise another child. He said that he could. I did not take him seriously because he was not confident or reliable when it came to helping me with our daughter. Besides, he was not doing well for himself. This is when I decided to contact American Adoptions.

 

Once I received the paperwork, I immediately filled it out and put it in the mail. Within a week, an adoption specialist contacted me. I could not believe all the support she gave me. Throughout the last few months of my pregnancy I was not sure I was doing the right thing. I was not sure I could go through with adoption.

 

The father's side of the family called often and asked me what they could do to prevent the adoption. In my heart I questioned where they were before when our bills went unpaid and our gas was turned off. The father even accused me of not loving my baby. I was giving my baby a better life because I loved her.

 

I did not find the "perfect family" until a month and a half before my due date. My first choice family had already been chosen, my second choice family declined because of an illness in my family history, and my third choice family had been chosen as well. When I received more profiles of families to consider, it was by the grace of God that I found Jeff and Sue.

 

I was nervous the first time we talked on the phone, and the second. They were so excited; Sue had already told anyone who would listen about my baby and I. My adoption specialist had told me that God provides the right home for each baby, and that, he had. It sure is funny how it works.

 

Four nights before my scheduled induction, Jeff and Sue arrived in my hometown. My daughter and I joined Jeff and Sue for dinner. They met me with huge smiles and their hearts and arms were wide open. They showered my daughter and I with love and kindness.

 

We never had the chance to get together again because I let the father talk me into keeping the baby and moving in with him. I called my adoption specialist and asked her to tell Jeff and Sue. After rethinking everything through, I called her back again and told her I still wanted to give Jeff and Sue their baby.

 

They came back early Monday morning and waited in the hospital waiting room. I sent someone to let them know my progress. Finally, Madison Nicole graced us with her presence. I sent my friend to get Jeff and Sue so they could meet their daughter. Instead of looking around for Madison, they came to the bed, hugged me, and told me thank you with tears in their eyes. I told them to go see their daughter.

 

It was a magical moment to see the three of them together. There are no words to describe the look on Jeff's face except; Madison was going to be a daddy's girl. Sue looked like she wanted to cry. I felt like I had to be strong in order to survive the next 24 hours.

 

Jeff and Sue were open to anything I wanted. I just needed a little time to tell Madison how much I loved her and to take some pictures with her sister and I. When the time came to sign the papers, I thought it would be more difficult. I guess I realized that I was giving Madison the life I could not give her.

 

It was time for me to be dismissed from the hospital. Jeff, Sue, and I must have shared a hundred hugs before I walked away from them. It was not hard leaving Madison with them. It was hard leaving three people who have forever changed my life.

 

When I contacted my adoption specialist, I told her I felt guilty because I did not cry throughout the experience. She told me some birth mothers do not cry since they feel so good about adoption. I finally broke down and cried when I received Madison's one-month pictures. It was hard seeing her, yet it was wonderful. She looked so peaceful. In November, I received Madison's six-month pictures. She is beautiful, happy, and healthy, and Jeff is still a proud daddy.

 

If you've even considered adoption, you've made a better choice than some mothers. You are obviously looking into adoption because you cannot provide for the baby or you do not feel physically, mentally, or emotionally ready to raise a child. Know that there is a family somewhere that would love the chance to raise your child. It was a wonderful feeling to be able to complete a couple's family. Good luck and God bless you in the decision you make.

 

Love,

 

Tiffeny

 

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Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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