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“What does adoption mean to a child?”

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Carol Ann's Adoption Story

 

 

 

My story of giving my baby up for adoption has trails of long and complicated threads. Being able to give a baby up for adoption was an act of such selflessness that I admired in mothers of who I observed were going through such processes. But I never thought I could do it, or would do it ... and I guess I never knew who I really was in making such a determined thought seem like reality.

My upbringing was volatile and abuse was far too common. It seemed inevitable that I would move towards an abusive marriage, in which my first child was born into. With that child, and an unborn child, I made a decision to leave that life behind me forever. Unfortunately, I was in a position to need to consider leaving the unborn child to another family as well.

I believe that a child comes to a family in the way that a light comes from the Heavens and births a seed for someone who needs such a Soul in their life's path. I now see it in such a wider scope, and I treasure the gift that I gave.

I am now 41 years old, and I was 22 years old when I gave my child up for adoption. He was born a few days before Christmas, and I went home on Christmas Eve. It was a closed adoption, and I do not personally know the family. I could only cry in the shower, as I wanted to show the world that I was okay with my decision. I really was okay with it, but the emotions still always have to come forward. It is inevitable, but no birth mother should forget that it is also a time of celebration.

Today, I am still content with my decision. When the decision is right and true, and made with love and good intentions, no regret will ever shadow the days in which the child is with another. It is so important to not only know in the mind that adoption is the answer, it is also important to know it in the heart and Soul ... deep inside. It is so very important to know that love goes wherever the bond is, and there is never a separation in reality. There is only love. There are people who want to love a child, and sometimes a loving Soul has to be the vestibule to give to them that gift of love and happiness. It is the most selfless and beautiful gift to give to another and to such an innocent child.

Now that I have grown to see the difference, and now that I know that I would give a child up for adoption because I love that child, I now see a broader end to the spectrum than I did years ago. There is no shame in making a decision like adoption. There is nothing but the living truth that a birth mother is a silent hero ... and someone that stepped aside from Self to give someone else the chance to meet the child that they have been waiting for.

Tears have scattered my path, here and there, because of wonders of if the child is happy. But more often, than not, I have smiled because love fills the experience. The child turned 18 this past Christmas, and I have not been sought out. I am hopeful that this is a very good thing, as I am taking it as an indication that the child is content in life. And that is all I need ...

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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