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“What does adoption mean to a child?”

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Cody's Adoption Story

In January 2014 I found out I was pregnant. I was currently in a two-year relationship with a man, and we were soon to be engaged. He is not the father of my baby. One poor decision tore us apart, and we are no longer together.

The baby’s father did not show much interest when I told him. He already has three children by three other women. Real winner, I know.

I found it beyond difficult to tell my parents because I knew how disappointed they would be. My mother took it as well as a mother can, I suppose. My father, on the other hand, did not. From the time he found out in April to after the birth in September, he never spoke a word to me and could not be in the same room as me. This hurt me more than anything. I’d always been daddy’s little girl and to see what I did to him ruined me.

After I told my mother, we started making prenatal appointments and talking. I told her that adoption had crossed my mind, but I wasn’t 100 percent sure yet.

We looked for agencies to find more information. Once we found American Adoptions, I was put into contact with Cole and he is amazing!

When I was certain that I was choosing adoption, I decided to move from my home in Georgia to New Mexico to live with my grandfather for the duration of my pregnancy. In June 2014, I made my move.

Once I was settled in New Mexico, I applied for Medicaid and made more doctor appointments. I also started looking harder at available families on the website. I had looked previously but did not want to get any hopes up too early. Despite that, from the first time I browsed, I feel in love with Jon and Lindsay.

One thing that really drew me to them was the fact that Jon was adopted himself. I felt that if my baby girl could have that connection with her father, what could be better? He could relate to her on so many levels and help her to understand the situation. I believe a loving daddy is something every little girl needs and deserves, and Jon is definitely nothing short of an amazing, doting father!

When the time came to finally contact them and have our first conversation, I was definitely nervous. I wanted to make a good impression. I was afraid they would reject if I didn’t do a good job.

After the first phone call, we started keeping in touch through email. In the first email I sent, I told them they would be expecting a baby girl, and I don’t think there were two more happy people on this planet. We talked almost every day, and I told them all the details from my appointments. I sent them ultrasound pictures, and they sent me pictures of the nursery as they added pink details. Jon build a beautiful barn wood door for her closet and his dad built a side table to go beside the rocker. Their entire family was excited and I could tell just by talking to Jon and Lindsay.

Toward the end of August, they came for a short visit again. I was nervous but once we started talking, it was like I had known them forever. I felt so comfortable with them; I knew they were the right match.

When we got closer to my due date, they came to New Mexico to make sure they were there for my birth. My mother also came out to be with me during the process. Five days after I was due, my baby was finally ready. I was admitted into the hospital Sunday night, and we had a beautiful baby girl early Monday morning.

Lindsay held her first, and Jon cut the umbilical cord. They were able to stay in a room at the hospital and the baby was able to stay in the room with them instead of being stuck in the nursery. Up until the birth, they had a few names in mind but wanted to see and meet her before making a final decision.

So, on Monday, September 22, 2014 at 1:42 a.m., Nora came into the world weighing 8 pounds, 3 ounce and was 20 inches long.

After being put into my recover room, I slept the rest of that morning. When I woke up, we found I was hemorrhaging so a D and C was ordered. This was the first time I had ever been in the hospital for anything, so I was getting all experiences (IVs, anesthesia, etc.) in one visit.

The operation went well, and I was back in my room within an hour. During our stay in the hospital, they came to visit me all the time and kept me informed on the tests that were being done on Nora, like how she was eating and such. We were both discharged from the hospital together on Tuesday, and they stayed in town an extra night so we could have a little more time together before saying final goodbyes. We met for lunch the next day after I went to the courthouse and made everything official. We took some more pictures, then I watched my heart drive away.

We text almost daily, and they email me pictures often. They let me know how she is doing, how big she is getting, how her personality is forming more and more each day, how much everyone in their lives are enjoying meeting her. People at their jobs had showers for them once they arrived home.

That is exactly how I always pictured in my mind it would be to have a baby. I feel beyond blessed that I was able to give them something that I believe they thought might never happen. I know God will provide for me again, when I have reached the right time in my life. I know they will love her unconditionally and will give her everything she ever wants or needs. She is going to be awfully spoiled!

Now that I am back home and busy with work and school, I have started thinking about what I can do with my story and how I can use what I went through to help other girls and women in similar situations. In my town, there is a nonprofit actually trying to start a home for single pregnant mothers who have nowhere to live or anyone to help them. I have considered getting involved with this program.

I want to be able to share my experience and be the example that adoption is a wonderful choice. I believe this home will help save a lot of innocent lives because abortion is all too frequently the backup when things don’t go as planned.

I want every girl and woman to know that adoption is one of the best things they could ever do in their lives if they decide they can’t support a baby or that they just aren’t ready. There is always a family ready. Always.

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Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in now way response for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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