First she was an adoptive mother through a closed adoption, then a birth grandmother in an open adoption. One woman tells her story of faith, fate, and of being on two sides of the adoption triad.
What if that perfect family for your baby happens to live on the opposite side of the country? 5 guidelines for making long-distance open adoption relationships work:
Here’s how adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees can establish boundaries in open adoptions to help promote healthy relationships to last a lifetime.
“Both of our two children have been adopted through open adoptions, and even after 25+ years, I’m absolutely convinced that it was the right decision. “
From the start, I was open with my son’s parents about wanting the adoption to be open, and while the openness agreement is not legally binding, I knew it needed to be respected for the sake of my son. I was also transparent about wanting to slowly transition from a custodial parent to more of a birth parent role. Therefore, I had frequent contact with my son that lessened over the first two years of placement. I saw him every couple of months until I was comfortable not seeing my son as frequently. My son’s parents also communicated a need with me around the same time that they really needed more space.
The question is: why is having an open adoption important to me? Having an open adoption means I stay connected with my child. Just because I made a decision not to parent every day doesn’t mean I don’t want to have a relationship with my child. I also believe that us having a relationship is better for him as well in the long run.
So you’ve heard of open adoption and you’ve heard of closed adoption, right? But have you heard of semi-open adoption?
Semi-open adoption is a fairly new idea, only having really taken off in the last couple decades. It refers to those adoptions where contact is exchanged between birth mothers and adoptive families, but identifying information remains private. Ok, that makes sense, but how does it work?