Hello, my name is Megan Kautio, and I am the Assistant Executive Director of American Adoptions. I have worked with many birth mothers and adoptive families in my time here at American Adoptions and love being able to watch families form through adoption.
Q. If the birth mother comes back again to place another child, does the first adoptive family get notified?
A. Sometimes a birth mother becomes pregnant again and contacts American Adoptions to create an adoption plan a second time. When our Adoption Specialists talk with the woman, they will explore her feelings about her previous adoption experience and ask her about placing this baby with the same adoptive family. American Adoptions will discuss the benefits of having her children placed with the same family.
If the birth mother is open to having the same family adopt this baby as well, the Adoption Specialist will make contact with the adoptive parents to discuss their readiness and ability to adopt again. If the adoptive parents are willing and able to adopt this baby, the Adoption Specialist will begin getting everything in order to create an adoption plan.
If the adoptive parents are unable to adopt again, the Adoption Specialist will talk with the birth mother and explore options to choose a new family for this baby. If everyone is open to it, plans can be made for the previous family and the new adoptive family to maintain contact into the future.
Should a birth mother tell her Adoption Specialist that she wants to place her baby with a new family and not the family she previously placed with, the Adoption Specialist will explore her reasons with her, talk about all of her options and discuss how the future may look.
The most common reasons a birth mother gives for wanting to choose a different family is unhappiness with contact with the first family, fear of telling the family she is pregnant again so soon and fear they will not be ready to parent again so soon. The Adoption Specialist will talk through these reasons with the birth mother and help her figure out if she does in fact want to choose a new family or if she would like the Adoption Specialist to first talk with the family about her concerns and see what their thoughts are before she makes a final decision. Ultimately, it is always the birth mother’s decision, and if she does not want American Adoptions to contact the first family, her wishes will be respected.