Adoptive parents expect to feel overwhelming joy when they first meet their child. But when there’s a disconnect between expectations and reality, it can be confusing and isolating.
Many adoptive parents experience Post-Adoption Depression (PAD), a condition that mirrors postpartum depression but stems from the unique challenges of adoption rather than hormonal changes from pregnancy.
Contact us today to speak with one of our counselors about post-adoption support services.
In this article, we’ll explore the reality of PAD, its causes and symptoms and, most importantly, how to get the support you need.
Can Adoptive Moms Get Postpartum Depression After Adoption?
Yes. Research shows that 11% to 12% of adoptive parents experience depressive symptoms after adoption, proving that these feelings are both real and surprisingly common.
While adoptive parents don’t experience the hormonal fluctuations that contribute to traditional postpartum depression, they can develop a similar condition called Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS).
Your brain doesn’t distinguish between biological and adoptive parenthood when processing the massive life changes that come with welcoming a new child.
The sleep disruption, stress, routine upheaval and emotional intensity affect all new parents, regardless of how their child joined their family.
What Is Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS)?
Post-Adoption Depression Syndrome is your mind and body’s response to the overwhelming changes that accompany becoming an adoptive parent.
Unlike traditional postpartum depression, which often relates to hormonal shifts, PADS stems from the unique psychological and social challenges specific to adoption.
The condition can manifest even when you’ve desperately wanted to become a parent and feel grateful for your adoption journey.
If you’re experiencing PADS, it doesn’t reflect your parenting abilities or love for your child. It’s a legitimate mental health condition that deserves understanding, compassion and proper treatment.
Why Do Adoptive Parents Develop Post-Adoption Depression?
Understanding why adoptive moms can get postpartum depression helps normalize these experiences and reduces isolation. Several factors contribute to post-adoption depression:
Emotional Exhaustion from the Adoption Process
You’ve likely spent months or years navigating paperwork, home studies, waiting periods and emotional uncertainty. When your child finally arrives, you might feel completely drained precisely when you need energy most for parenting.
Complete Life Disruption
Whether you’ve adopted a newborn or older child, every aspect of your daily routine has changed dramatically. Sleep schedules, personal time, relationships and work-life balance all require immediate adjustment.
Bonding Anxiety and Attachment Concerns
Many adoptive parents worry about connecting with their child or fear their relationship will somehow differ from biological parent-child bonds. These concerns can create significant stress and self-doubt.
Societal Pressure to Feel Only Gratitude
Society expects adoptive parents to express nothing but joy and thankfulness. This pressure invalidates normal adjustment challenges and can intensify feelings of guilt when difficulties arise.
Loss and Grief Processing
Adoption often involves processing multiple losses—infertility, failed placements or the end of your pre-child life. These complex emotions require time to work through.
The Reality: Is Feeling Sad After Adoption Normal?
Feeling sad, overwhelmed or anxious after adoption is absolutely normal and more common than most people realize. The question “can adoptive moms get postpartum depression” exists because these experiences are real and widespread among adoptive families.
Many adoptive parents report feeling isolated because they believe they should only express joy and gratitude.
However, emotional challenges don’t mean you’re ungrateful for your child or made a mistake. These feelings simply reflect how significant this life transition really is.
It’s completely healthy to grieve aspects of your pre-adoption life while simultaneously celebrating your new role as a parent.
These seemingly contradictory emotions can absolutely coexist and represent a normal part of family adjustment.
Recognizing Symptoms of Post-Adoption Depression
Can adoptive moms get postpartum depression with symptoms similar to postpartum depression? Yes. Watch for these warning signs:
Emotional Symptoms:
- Persistent sadness or emptiness
- Loss of interest in activities you previously enjoyed
- Feeling overwhelmed, hopeless or worthless
- Excessive guilt about adoption decisions or parenting abilities
- Anxiety about bonding or attachment with your child
Physical Symptoms:
- Significant changes in appetite or sleep patterns
- Chronic fatigue despite adequate rest opportunities
- Restlessness, agitation or feeling slowed down
- Difficulty concentrating or making everyday decisions
Parenting-Specific Symptoms:
- Feeling disconnected from your child
- Questioning your adoption decision
- Anxiety about your parenting capabilities
- Intrusive thoughts about your child’s wellbeing
When Post-Adoption Depression Becomes Concerning
While adjustment challenges are normal, persistent symptoms that interfere with daily functioning require professional attention. Seek help if:
- Symptoms last longer than two weeks without improvement
- You feel unable to care for yourself or your child
- Friends or family express concern about changes in your behavior
- You’re having thoughts about harming yourself or your child
- Normal activities feel impossible to manage
Early intervention leads to better outcomes for both you and your child. There’s no shame in seeking support—it demonstrates strength and commitment to your family’s wellbeing.
Severe Warning Signs: If you experience thoughts about death, self-harm or harming your child, seek immediate professional help. You can reach the suicide and crisis lifeline by dialing 988.
Professional Treatment Options for Post-Adoption Depression
If you’re wondering how to address post-adoption depression, multiple effective treatment options exist:
- Adoption-Informed Therapy Mental health professionals who understand adoption dynamics can provide targeted support. They recognize the unique challenges adoptive families face and can help you develop healthy coping strategies.
- Support Groups for Adoptive Parents Connecting with other adoptive parents—whether in-person or online—provides invaluable peer support. There’s tremendous power in sharing experiences with people who truly understand your journey.
- Medical Evaluation and Treatment If symptoms feel overwhelming or aren’t improving with therapy and support, consult your healthcare provider. Sometimes medication can provide relief while you work through emotional adjustments.
- Family Counseling Family therapy can help all family members adjust to new dynamics and improve communication and bonding processes.
Addressing Bonding Challenges and Building Attachment
Bonding with your adopted child is a process, not always an instant occurrence. Here’s what to keep in mind:
Understanding Healthy Attachment Development
Attachment builds gradually through consistent, responsive caregiving. Some parents feel immediate connection, while others develop bonds over weeks or months.
Both timelines are completely normal and don’t predict future relationship strength.
Your Child’s Adjustment Period
Remember that your child is also adjusting to massive changes. They’re in a new environment with new caregivers and may need time to feel safe and secure. Their initial behavior doesn’t reflect your parenting skills or their feelings about joining your family.
Strategies to encourage bonding:
- Participate in daily care routines like feeding, bathing and bedtime
- Spend one-on-one time doing simple, enjoyable activities
- Practice skin-to-skin contact with infants
- Make eye contact and respond to your child’s cues
- Be patient with yourself and your child during this adjustment
How American Adoptions Supports Mental Health
At American Adoptions, we understand that bringing your child home marks the beginning, not the end, of your adoption journey. Our comprehensive support services extend far beyond placement to help families thrive long-term.
- Ongoing Counseling Support: Our licensed counselors provide adoption-informed therapy and support groups specifically designed for adoptive families.
- Educational Resources and Workshops: We regularly offer workshops on topics like attachment, bonding, and managing post-adoption adjustment challenges. These educational opportunities help families prepare for and navigate common experiences.
- 24/7 Crisis Support: If you’re experiencing concerning symptoms or need immediate support, our crisis intervention services are available around the clock. Your family’s mental health and safety are our top priorities.
- Connection to Local Resources: We maintain relationships with adoption-informed mental health professionals nationwide and can help connect you with qualified local providers who understand your specific needs.
Take the Next Step Toward Support
If you’re experiencing symptoms of post-adoption depression or want to learn more about our mental health support services, don’t wait to reach out.
Contact one of our adoption specialists today to learn about our comprehensive post-adoption support services.
With proper support, understanding and professional guidance, you can move through this challenging period and build the strong, loving family you’ve always dreamed of.
