This blog was written by Allison Olson. Being both an adoptee and an adoptive parent, Allison Olson has a unique perspective on the topic of adoption. She is an award-winning children’s adoption book author and her goal is to change the adoption narrative from the “lucky” child to the “loved” child. Allison lives in Oregon with her husband, two daughters, and their kitties named Bo and Aero.
For any adoptive parents, it’s common to think about what information—if any—should be shared with your child’s teacher. In general, there is no need to tell your child’s teacher that they are adopted unless your child decides to bring it up.
However, sometimes there are reasons to discuss adoption with your child’s teacher.
It would usually make sense to educate your child’s teacher about adoption if there was an assignment that could feel sensitive to an adoptee (e.g., family tree), you find out that the class is reading a book about adoption, classmates say something about adoption, or the teacher says something about adoption that your kid brings to your attention.
As an adoptee and adoptive parent, I find it very common that people outside the adoption community are not aware of modern adoption laws, practices, and current positive adoption language.
If you are facing any of these issues in your child’s classroom, it is time to schedule some one-on-one time with his/her teacher.
Here are my top eight ways to help educate your child’s teacher on adoption.
Top 8 Ways to Help Educate Your Child’s Teacher, if necessary
- Have a Private Conversation – people tend to feel defensive when confronted publicly. Try to get some one-on-one time with the teacher to have this important discussion around adoption education.
- Provide a List of Current Positive Adoption Language – this can be used as a cheat sheet for them to know what is ok versus not ok to say regarding adoption. This will be helpful for both the teacher and students in the class.
- Share Adoption Books – pick some top adult and children’s adoption books to share with the teacher that you feel best describe adoption. Try to select a variety of books from authors across the adoption triad (i.e., adoptee, birth family, and adoptive parent)
- Explain that Your Child’s Adoption Story is Their Own – once the teacher understands adoption you don’t want them to then spotlight your child and make them share their adoption story that they may not be open to sharing. It’s good to make sure they understand that as the parent you won’t share their story, so it’s not the place of the teacher to know it or share it unless the child requests.
- Provide Resources – provide other resources for the teacher to learn. This can be documentaries, websites, blogs, or social media accounts from adoptees, birth mother/fathers, or adoptive parents.
- Be Available to Answer Questions – if the teacher has any questions around adoption after your conversation, make sure that there is an open door to reach back out to you to help answer questions as time goes on.
- Suggestion Alternatives to Sensitive Assignments – provide a list of alternative options instead of sensitive assignments like family trees or assignments around genetic traits (e.g., who do you get your blue eyes from). Alternatives include a family crest of common interests, hobbies, etc. or a support garden assignment where each human connection is a flower (does not have to be family members) – it’s a great one for kids in foster care.
- Thank the Teacher for a Willingness to Learn – A small but important step—acknowledge their openness to learning. Teachers are more receptive when they feel supported and appreciated.
Learn more about the author:
- Website: www.ouradoptionbooks.com
- Social Media: @kidsbooksbyallisonolson (Facebook, Instagram, TikTok)
