This blog was written by Allison Olson. Being both an adoptee and an adoptive parent, Allison Olson has a unique perspective on the topic of adoption. She is an award-winning children’s adoption book author and her goal is to change the adoption narrative from the “lucky” child to the “loved” child. Allison lives in Oregon with her husband, two daughters, and their kitties named Bo and Aero.
Adoption themes have been present in lots of movies, books, and TV shows throughout the years, but often the depiction is quite extreme and inaccurate.
Thinking about your adoptive child growing up and seeing one of these movies can be a concern for adoptive parents that are working hard on accurate adoption education.
As both an adoptee and an adoptive parent, I’ve witnessed these kinds of misrepresentations my entire life. They can be frustrating and even hurtful, which is why I know firsthand how important it is to support our kids as they encounter these portrayals on screen.
Since it is not realistic to think we can shelter kids from seeing these misrepresented adoption themes in movies or TV shows, as adoptive parents we need to be prepared. Here are six things to keep in mind.
6 Things to Keep in Mind
1. Try to Be Informed
Perform Google or AI searches to learn all about what movies, books, and TV shows are viewed as misrepresenting adoption.
You can also follow social media accounts, create Google alerts, and talk to other adoptive parents. Being aware of which movies and TV shows could help to address the concerns before they happen.
Meaning that you could let them know the movie they are about to watch is on the list, so for them to look for how adoption aligns with what they understand versus does not. Having a list will help reduce the number of surprises when watching movies and TV shows together.
2. Remember that You Cannot Preview Everything
Just as the first step of being informed is important, it is also impossible to watch or preview every TV show, movie, or book before your child can. They will be exposed to these things outside of your house, whether it be in the classroom, at grandparent’s house, at a friend’s house, or even while walking through a store that sells TVs.
So please try to let go of the idea of being the perfect protective parent around adoption misrepresentation. Young adoptees have likely already seen and heard more things about adoption misrepresentation than you are likely aware of. They are more resilient than we realize.
3. Be An Open Door
Meaning that you are always available to help support their needs whether it be emotional reactions, questions after watching one of these movies or TV shows, or just a lap to cuddle up in.
4. Talk About Concerns in Advance
If you are aware of a list of movies and TV shows, share that list with your child. Make sure they are knowledgeable of this concern, so they can choose to either watch, not watch, watch in a safe space, or be around to watch with you and ask questions.
Also remember that all kids are different and that you may feel that something will bother them in a movie or TV show only to find out that they really didn’t think much of it and care more about the rest of the plot.
5. Teach Kids to be Critical Viewers
We are raising future adults, so giving them a toolbox for thinking through and processing their feelings when they encounter adoption or adoptee misrepresentations will go a long way toward building their self-confidence and helping them learn how to handle difficult situations.
6. Share Your Own Family Story Often
Reinforcing your own family building story will help them to know what their adoption looks like versus a portrayal on TV. Then they can clearly distinguish the differences between stories. It helps to ground them in their own truth.
Learn more about the author:
- Website: www.ouradoptionbooks.com
- Social Media: @kidsbooksbyallisonolson (Facebook, Instagram, TikTok)
I really appreciated your insights in this piece. It’s eye‑opening to realize how many TV shows and movies still rely on inaccurate or exaggerated adoption tropes — whether it’s portraying adoption as tragedy or over‑romanticizing it — and how that can affect both adoptees and families watching. I love that you highlight the importance of talking openly with kids and helping them think critically about what they see, rather than just shielding them, because these portrayals do stick with us. It made me think more about the stories I consume and how they might shape people’s understanding of adoption. Thanks for this thoughtful and helpful perspective!
You’re spot on. Addressing those tropes can make a difference in how families relate to what they see on screen. Thank you for your thoughtful feedback!