Making the decision to pursue adoption is the first step on your journey toward parenting. With so much to look forward to in the coming months, it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement. However, there is one particular aspect of every adoption that needs to be addressed – the waiting period. This waiting period leads many hopeful families to ask, “Just how far along is the birth mother when picking the family?”

The answer? It depends.

 The truth is that no matter how quickly you, as the adoptive parent, want your adoption to move forward and be finalized, remember – that decision is not up to you. It is only and always up to the prospective birth mother. She is the one who chooses the adoptive family for her baby and will do so at her own pace when she’s ready.

We know that depending on a birth mother for your adoption match can take a long time, maybe even longer than you anticipated. And it’s difficult to not stress out about the wait time when you’re looking for answers on how far along is the prospective birth mother when picking the family. But, keep in mind – she is making a brave, loving, and selfless decision for her child; she is trying to give them the best life possible.

In order to do that, she has to find the adoptive family she feels is best for her child. That’s not a decision that can be made overnight, and nor should it be. A decision of this magnitude is going to require time and patience.

While you’re waiting for your adoption match, there are definitely steps you can take to make your waiting period more productive and less stressful. If you have any questions about how far along is the prospective birth mother when picking the family, you can fill out our online contact form at any time for free information.

In the meantime, here are the facts about adoption wait times. 

How far along is the prospective birth mother when picking a family? [Understanding Adoption Wait Times]

Before asking “How far along is the prospective birth mother when picking a family?” it’s important to learn a little more about adoption wait times.

Once you become active with the adoption agency you’re working with, through being carefully vetted and approved through state and federal laws, you’ll enter the waiting time of being matched with a prospective birth mother. Every adoptive family will experience a different amount of wait time during their adoption process, so there’s no one answer for how far is the birth mother when picking a family?

After you’ve been approved, your adoption specialist will present your adoption profile to prospective birth mothers working with the agency. If a prospective birth likes your profile and wants to move forward, you’ll get a call from your specialist about an adoption opportunity waiting for you!

Factors that Could Impact Your Adoption Wait Times

When families start asking, “How far along is the birth mother when picking a family?” there are a few more factors to consider. What can cause some adoptive families to take longer to be matched with a prospective birth mother than other families? Well, actually, there are many factors that can determine how long your adoption wait time will take:

But, what about the woman considering adoption for her child? What exactly is she looking for in the right family for her baby? And how far along is the prospective birth mother when picking a family?

There are so many unique characteristics she may have in mind as she’s considering what kind of adoptive family she wants to raise her baby, including:

  • Where the family lives
  • What the adoptive parents’ values are on education and religion
  • What they do for jobs
  • Whether they have other children
  • If they have pets at home
  • And much more

Choosing adoption is, quite possibly, the most difficult yet loving decision a prospective birth mother will make for her child. And, this is exactly why no one should ever make her feel rushed or slow at making a decision on the adoptive family for her baby.

It’s when she feels ready and at peace with her decision that she should start her search for the perfect adoptive family. Whether that’s early on in her pregnancy or even months after giving birth and taking care of her child at home for some time, it is only up to the birth mother to take the next step and choose the family. So while it’s normal to wonder, “How far along is the birth mother when choosing a family?” The answer totally depends on where the prospective birth mother is at in her life.

Yes, the wait time can be a very short time or a long time. And, we understand that time can be difficult to deal with, especially when you don’t know when you will get that phone call telling you a birth mother has picked you.

To help you better accept what could be a longer wait time than you may expect, there are several things you, your friends, and your family can be doing to prepare and stay calm while your adoption specialist does their best.

While You’re Waiting [What Can I Do During This Time?]

It’s easy to get anxious, restless, and even frustrated when you’re facing a long wait time for your adoption. There are many hopeful adoptive parents who want to know, “How far along is the birth mother when choosing a family?” But while every adoption journey can be stressful and lengthy, but that doesn’t mean you should waste that time being upset or complaining about the process.

As the adoptive parent, how you spend your wait time is the most crucial. If you’re a first-time parent, there are many steps you can take to prepare yourself and your home for your baby. Even if you have previous experience as a parent with other children in your family, the adoption journey is a lot different than if you’ve raised biological children.

The most important thing you can do while you’re waiting is to take care of yourself. You can do this by:

  • Finding doctors and pediatricians
  • Preparing your home for a child
  • Figuring out your employer’s policy on adoption leave
  • Reading child development and parenting books
  • Pampering yourself
  • And more

Emotions run high during an adoption journey for adoptive parents, especially during the waiting period or when you’re wondering how far along is the birth mother when choosing a family. Instead of getting frustrated or worried, spend your time taking the necessary and proper action to prepare for a new baby or older child. This time is yours to use, so use it wisely to be ready when the day comes

How Your Family and Friends Can Help

During your adoption wait time, it’s important to have a support system for you to lean on and ask for help from when needed. But, when your family and/or friends feel a little lost for what they can do to help, suggest these ideas:

  • Help share your profile with others to get your and your information out there to reach other birth mothers who are considering adoption
  • Help with any home preparations you may need to work on to make sure your home is ready for a new child
  • Listening to you while you talk about what’s going on in your adoption process (we all need a healthy venting session or just time to update friends and family)
  • Giving you and/or your partner space when you’re struggling through those tough days of the adoption
  • Reading up on the adoption process to better understand all of the steps so they can help reassure you during the wait time
  • And more

While it’s most important for you and your partner to be knowledgeable on and understand your adoption and its process, it’s can be incredibly helpful to have your family and friends read up on adoption and all it entails.

If you have any questions about getting matched with a prospective birth mother or the adoption process, or how far along is the birth mother when choosing a family, please feel free to reach out to us anytime!