There are many ways to start a beautiful family. While many couples are diagnosed with infertility, that doesn’t mean they have to give up on their dreams of become a parent. Adoption, surrogacy and IVF are a few great family‐building options that hopeful parents might consider. But there are some common myths about each one that you might have already heard of, making it hard to decide which family‐building option is right for you. To help you make this important decision, we’d like to dispel some common myths about each of your options below.
Myths About Adoption
1. The Birth Mother Can Take the Child Back at Any Time
Many adoptive families worry and are even hesitant to consider an open adoption because of the fear that a birth mother can and will “take her child back” at any time. This is one myth that adoptive families absolutely shouldn’t believe. Once a birth parent legally consents to the adoption and the revocation period has passed (if applicable), your child will be an official, permanent member of your family. This is a legally binding process, so a woman choosing adoption for her child understands the permanency of the situation. Plus, birth parents choose adoption because it’s what they truly believe is best for their children — they don’t want to disrupt the wonderful life they chose for their baby when they placed them with you.
2. Birth Mothers are “Giving Up” Their Children
This is another myth that is absolutely not true. Women who consider adoption for their children are not “giving up” on them. There are a variety of circumstances that would make a woman want to consider adoption — by far the most selfless decision that a woman could make for her child. Women who choose adoption do so out of love for their child, and the only thing they’re “giving” them is the chance to have a better future. As painful as it is, they know that they are making the best choice for themselves and for their baby.
3. Most Birth Mothers are Teenagers
- The prospect of life as a single mother
- Being unable to afford to raise a child (or another child) at this point in their life
- Not being ready for parenthood right now, and wanting to know that their baby is raised in a safe, loving home
All of these, and more, are valid reasons for wanting to place a child for adoption.
Myths About Surrogacy
1. Only Wealthy Families Can Afford Surrogacy
This is a common misconception because, like adoption and IVF, the costs for surrogacy can often run high. But there are many options for hopeful families to afford surrogacy to build their families. If you’re concerned about the cost of this increasingly popular family-building option, don’t hesitate to reach out to our sister agency, American Surrogacy, for more information.
2. Surrogates are Only in it For the Money
This couldn’t be further from the truth. Many women who participate in surrogacy have a fulfilling career of their own and have no financial worries to speak of. While it’s true that most surrogates are compensated for their time, it is not, by any means, “easy” money. Gestational surrogates know that there are women who are unable to have children of their own, and want to use this opportunity to give someone else the gift of motherhood.
Myths About IVF
1. IVF Has a 100 Percent Success Rate
As much as we hope for success, this is an unfortunate myth. While IVF is a tremendous breakthrough in assisted reproduction, it’s still not an exact science. Different circumstances can affect the success rate of IVF. Using the best egg donors and IVF doctors can help your chances, but it’s still not guaranteed to be a success.
2. Frozen Embryos are Less Effective
You might be surprised to hear, but it turns out that frozen embryos as just as effective as fresh ones. In fact, some studies have shown that using frozen embryos results in better pregnancy outcomes. With frozen embryos, doctors are also able to have better control over the process. Although using frozen embryos doesn’t always guarantee success, they are still just as effective as fresh transfers.
The Right Family-Building Option for You
The right option for you will depend on your unique circumstances — there are no wrong or right answers. Your decision should be based on the best way for you to build a family. If you’d like to learn more about your options, you can reach out to American Adoptions at any time at 1-800-ADOPTIONS, or contact American Surrogacy for helpful information if you’re considering this path. Like any of our other services, calling or requesting more information does not mean that you’re obligated to choose adoption or surrogacy if you decide that it’s not right for you.