You’re not alone in this. When he disappeared after you told him you were pregnant, it probably felt like the ground shifted beneath you, but you still have options and support from people who understand what you’re going through.
We’re here to help you explore what comes next from deciding whether to reach out again to considering adoption or other paths forward.
Fill out our simple form or call 1-800-236-7846 to get the immediate support you deserve.
With the right guidance, you can move forward with confidence and build the future that’s right for you and your baby.
He Disappeared When I Told Him I Was Pregnant: What You Can Do
Finding out you’re pregnant changes everything. When the birth father isn’t supportive or just disappears, it can feel devastating.
If he disappeared when you told him you were pregnant, here’s what you can do:
- Give it a little time. Sometimes people need space to process big news. If it feels right, try reaching out once more—but don’t wait around forever. You deserve support now.
- Lean on people who care. Friends, family, whoever you trust. You don’t have to figure this out alone.
- Think about what you actually want. Can you picture yourself raising this baby? Do you want to? These are big, personal questions only you can answer.
- Remember adoption is an option. If single motherhood feels overwhelming or isn’t what you want, adoption gives you a path forward where you’re still in control.
What If I Don’t Want to Be a Single Mom?
That’s totally fair. You’ve got three main options, and knowing what each one actually looks like can help you figure out what feels right.
Parenting
Raising your baby solo is definitely possible, but let’s be real about what that means. It’s being the one handling everything—money, emotions, day-to-day stuff every single day.
Lots of single moms absolutely crush it, but it takes a solid support system and resources you’ll need to line up.
Abortion
Depending on where you live, abortion might be an option. Laws vary widely by state, so you’ll want to know what’s actually legal and available where you are. This is a deeply personal decision that’s yours to make.
You don’t need to decide this minute. Take the time you need.
Adoption
With adoption, you pick a family you trust to raise your child, and you can stay in touch through open adoption however much feels comfortable to you.
You’ll get financial help during your pregnancy, and you can move forward with your life knowing your baby’s in good hands.
How Adoption Can Help You Take Back Control
Adoption isn’t about giving up—it’s about actively choosing to build a better future for everyone.
Here’s what adoption through American Adoptions actually looks like:
- You pick the family. You review profiles, meet them if you want, and choose who will raise your child.
- You get financial help. Rent, groceries, medical bills, maternity clothes—birth mother benefits cover these expenses during pregnancy.
- You stay connected. Open adoption means pictures, letters, maybe visits—whatever contact level works for you.
- You give your baby stability. Choose a family that’s ready—emotionally and financially—to provide everything your child needs.
- You can move forward. Whether it’s school, career, or just space to heal, adoption gives you room to rebuild your life.
Can I Choose Adoption Without the Father’s Involvement?
It depends on where you live. Every state’s got different rules about birth father involvement in adoption, and yeah, it can get messy.
In some states, if the father bailed on the pregnancy or clearly doesn’t want to be a parent, his consent might not even be required. In other states, he might need to be notified or given a chance to claim his parental rights.
Here’s the good news: You don’t have to figure out all the legal stuff on your own. We work with really good adoption attorneys who handle exactly these situations.
Foster + Bloom Law, for instance, has helped tons of birth mothers work through the legal side when the father’s gone or being difficult. They can look at your specific situation, explain what your state’s laws say, and help you move forward with confidence.
Finding Emotional and Practical Support
You need more than just facts right now—you need someone actually in your corner.
If you end up working with American Adoptions, your adoption specialist is there whenever you need them. Not just 9 to 5—whenever. Questions, venting, needing reassurance you’re doing the right thing—they’re just a phone call away.
And if you’re not even sure about adoption yet? That’s completely fine. Our 24/7 adoption hotline is free and totally confidential. You can call to talk through all your options, get connected with resources, or just talk to someone who’ll actually listen without judging or pushing you.
Beyond American Adoptions, here are some other places to find community and support:
- r/birthparents on Reddit – An online community of birth mothers sharing their real experiences
- r/adoption – Broader adoption conversations from all different perspectives
- Local pregnancy resource centers – A lot of them offer free counseling and practical help
- Support groups for single mothers – Both in-person and online groups are out there
You don’t have to do this alone. There are people ready to help.
Stories from Women Who’ve Been There
Michelle’s story might hit home for you. When she got pregnant and wasn’t sure what to do, she reached out to American Adoptions.
“Over the past few months, Ryan and I have been getting together more often—he’s attended my daughter’s volleyball games, we’ve watched him play, and he’s met more of our family,”
Michelle said in April 2024. “This entire experience has been a dream come true and lifted a weight off my shoulders that I didn’t even know I was carrying. Meeting him was a missing piece of my life that I didn’t know I needed filled. I had always carried him in my heart, but giving him a hug and spending time with him has brought a comfort and peace that words cannot fully explain.”
Women like Michelle have been exactly where you are. They’ve felt the fear, the uncertainty, the hurt of being left alone—and they came through it knowing they made the right call for themselves and their babies.
American Adoptions Can Help You Today
You don’t need all the answers figured out right now. You just need to take that first step.
Whether you’re sure about adoption or still exploring what makes sense, American Adoptions is here with the support, info, and compassion you deserve. No pressure. No judgment. Just honest help from people who’ve been alongside thousands of women dealing with exactly what you’re dealing with.
Get your free information packet or call our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-
236-7846 to talk through your options. You’ve been carrying this alone long enough. Let us help.
