You have complete control over who is present in your hospital room and when.
With the support of an agency like American Adoptions, you can remove the uncertainty and stress from your hospital stay, knowing your boundaries will be clearly communicated and strictly enforced.
Fill out our contact form today to get the support you deserve from an adoption specialist.
I don’t want the adoptive parents in the delivery room, is that okay?
Yes, that is okay. If you’re feeling uncertain about having the adoptive parents in the delivery room, that’s completely valid.
You have every right to set boundaries that honor your comfort and emotional needs. Many expectant mothers considering adoption wonder about the hospital experience and what control they’ll have.
The truth is simple: you’re in charge. American Adoptions will work with you to create a hospital plan that puts your needs first.
You Are in Charge of the Delivery Room
Labor and delivery are deeply personal experiences. Despite what you might assume about giving your baby up for adoption, you maintain complete control over who enters your hospital room and when.
This is your medical experience. You decide whether the adoptive family can be present during labor or delivery. Hospital staff will follow your instructions, and your adoption specialist will make sure everyone respects your wishes.
You can decide:
- Whether the adoptive parents come to the hospital or wait until after birth
- If they can visit you in your room after delivery
- Who holds the baby first
- How much interaction you want with the adoptive family during your hospital stay
- Which members of your own support system you want present
These aren’t just preferences. They’re your rights as the person giving birth, and they don’t change because you’re making an adoption plan.
Creating a Hospital Plan that Respects Your Boundaries
A hospital plan is a written document that outlines your preferences for labor, delivery, and your hospital stay. When you work with American Adoptions, you’ll create this plan with your adoption specialist well before your due date.
Your specialist will walk you through important questions to help you clarify what feels right:
- Do you want any family members or friends with you during labor?
- If you have other children, do you want them to meet the baby?
- How much time do you want alone with your baby after birth?
- Are you comfortable with the adoptive parents being at the hospital at all?
- Do you want to participate in any special moments, like the first feeding or bath?
Be honest about your feelings. There’s no “right” answer to these questions. You might find comfort knowing the adoptive parents are nearby, or you might want privacy and distance. Whichever you choose, your decision will be respected.
Your adoption specialist will communicate your hospital plan to the adoptive family before delivery. This prevents misunderstandings and sets clear expectations. If something changes during labor or after birth, you can still adjust the plan. Your needs come first.
It’s Okay to Say No
You might worry that saying no to the adoptive parents will hurt their feelings or damage your relationship.
That concern shows your caring nature, but here’s what matters most: you need to feel safe and supported during this experience.
Adoptive parents who work with American Adoptions understand that the birth mother’s emotional wellbeing takes priority during the hospital stay. They’re prepared for the possibility that you might need space, and they respect that boundary.
Remember that choosing adoption doesn’t mean surrendering your right to privacy during a medical procedure. You can love the family you’ve chosen and still go through labor and delivery on your own terms.
What Happens If the Adoptive Family Wants to Be in the Delivery Room?
Adoptive parents often express interest in being present for the birth. For them, it represents the beginning of their parenting journey. But their hopes don’t override your needs.
When adoptive families work with American Adoptions, they receive education about the adoption process and respecting birth mother boundaries.
They understand you’re making an incredibly selfless decision, and part of honoring that gift means giving you whatever space you need.
Your adoption specialist serves as the communication bridge between you and the adoptive family.
If they’ve expressed a desire to be at the hospital and you’re uncomfortable, your specialist will have that conversation for you. You don’t have to explain yourself or justify your feelings directly to them.
Spending Time with Your Baby Before Placement
One of the most important things to understand about adoption hospital experiences is that you have time with your baby before making any legal commitments.
Every state has specific laws about when you can sign consent paperwork to finalize the adoption. These waiting periods let you physically recover from childbirth and emotionally process your decision.
During this waiting period, you can spend time with your baby. Some birth mothers choose to have the baby in their room continuously. Others prefer shorter visits. All of these choices are yours to make.
Your Time with Your Baby Is Valuable
Randi, a birth mother who placed her daughter for adoption with American Adoptions, used her time in the hospital with her baby before saying goodbye.
Today, she maintains an open adoption relationship and stays connected with her daughter’s family.
If you’re worried about changing your mind or becoming too attached, talk openly with your adoption specialist.
These feelings are normal, and having support while you work through them can help you gain clarity about what’s best for you and your baby.
How American Adoptions Supports You at the Hospital
American Adoptions provides specific support services designed to protect your comfort during your hospital stay:
- 24/7 availability. Your adoption specialist is reachable by phone anytime during your labor, delivery, and recovery. If you need something changed in your hospital plan or want to talk through your feelings, you can reach out immediately.
- Hospital advocacy. Your specialist will communicate directly with hospital staff to make sure they understand your adoption plan and respect your wishes about visitors, privacy, and time with your baby.
- Coordination with the adoptive family. You won’t have to manage the adoptive parents’ expectations or emotions. Your specialist handles all communication about when they can visit, how long they can stay, and what interactions you’re comfortable with.
- Emotional support. The emotions of adoption can feel overwhelming during and after delivery. Your specialist will be there to listen, validate your feelings, and help you process what you’re experiencing.
Work with an Agency that Respects Your Boundaries
When you work with American Adoptions, you get to choose the perfect family for your child while maintaining control over every aspect of the adoption process.
We have built our reputation on providing compassionate, birth-mother-centered support. Our staff includes birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees who truly understand what you’re going through.
Get connected to an adoption specialist today to create an adoption plan that honors your boundaries and supports your wellbeing.
