Adoption has helped thousands of women become the mothers they always longed to be.
With the right support, you can move forward toward parenthood — not as a consolation prize, but as a joyful and certain way to welcome a child into your life.
Connect with an adoption specialist today to learn how we can help you start your adoption journey.
“I Want to Be a Mother So Badly”: What This Feeling Means
This longing goes beyond desire — it represents identity, purpose, and your deepest capacity for love. When IVF is not working, it can feel as though the future you envisioned has been stolen.
It’s normal to grieve the loss of:
- The pregnancy experience you imagined
- A genetic connection with your child
- The timeline you carefully planned
Recognizing this grief is an important first step. By honoring it, you create space to embrace new possibilities — like adoption.
When Fertility Treatments Don’t Work
Fertility treatments can take a heavy toll. Failed IVF cycles bring not only physical exhaustion but also financial strain, with each round costing $15,000–$30,000. Some couples face the devastating moment of learning they have no embryos left to freeze.
Others reach the point where they simply cannot afford another round of IVF.
It’s important to remember: treatment failure is not personal failure. Many factors are beyond your control. If IVF is not working despite your best efforts, you still have a path forward.
Specialists often recommend exploring alternatives when:
- Multiple IVF cycles have been unsuccessful
- Resources are depleted
- Stress is overwhelming your relationship
This is the moment many families turn toward adoption.
Adoption as a Path to Motherhood
Unlike IVF, adoption provides certainty. Once matched with a birth mother, you know a child is coming into your life. Most families working with American Adoptions welcome a baby within 12–24 months — often faster than ongoing fertility treatments.
Adoption transforms “I want to be a mother so badly” into “I am a mother.”
What makes adoption unique?
- Certainty: A baby is on the way once you’re matched.
- Preparedness: Adoptive parents enter parenthood more ready and intentional than most.
- Connection: You play a meaningful role in your child’s story from the very beginning.
Surrogacy: A Secondary Option to Consider
For some families, surrogacy is the right next step — especially if you still have viable embryos. Through our sister agency, American Surrogacy, many families are able to maintain a genetic connection with their child and move forward quickly.
Matching with a qualified surrogate often happens in an average of 1-4 months, helping families begin their journey sooner than expected.
Learn more about how surrogacy works for hopeful parents like you.
Cost Considerations: Adoption vs. Surrogacy
Adoption Costs (Private Domestic Infant): $50,000+
- Agency Fees: $15,000-$25,000
- Legal Fees: $3,000-$8,000
- Birth Mother Expenses: $5,000-$15,000
- Home Study: $1,000-$3,000
Surrogacy Costs: $100,000-$200,000+
- Surrogate Compensation: $30,000-$60,000
- Medical Expenses: $30,000-$50,000
- Agency Fees: $20,000-$40,000
Adoption costs are more predictable with fewer variables. Many agencies offer financing programs, and both options may qualify for tax credits. Understanding what you’re paying for helps emphasize the value of comprehensive support.
What if I Can’t Afford Surrogacy?
For others, adoption is the better fit — particularly if you no longer have embryos, cannot afford to create more or don’t feel comfortable with the costs of surrogacy.
Adoption provides a direct path to welcoming a baby, often within 12–24 months, and allows you to begin building your child’s story from the very start.
Both adoption and surrogacy can help you achieve your dream of becoming a parent. The right choice depends on your personal situation, financial resources, and what you envision for your family’s future.
How Adoption Works with American Adoptions
Here’s what you can expect as you begin your journey to motherhood:
- Consultation – Start with a free consultation to discuss your goals and learn how adoption works.
- Home Study – Work with licensed social workers to complete your home study (typically 2–4 months). You can begin your Adoption Planning Questionnaire (APQ) and profile creation during this time, though your profile won’t go active until your home study is approved.
- Adoption Planning Questionnaire (APQ) – Define your preferences for adoption, including the types of situations you feel comfortable with.
- Profile Creation & Matching – With our professional support, you’ll create a written family profile and a personalized video profile to connect with birth mothers. Once your profile is active, our team helps match you with a birth mother whose goals align with yours.
- Birth & Finalization – When the birth mother delivers, you’ll welcome your baby home and complete the legal finalization process to secure your parental rights.
Throughout this process, American Adoptions provides transparent communication, matching expertise, and financial protection through our unique disruption insurance.
Emotional Support on the Journey to Motherhood
The transition from fertility treatments to adoption involves complex emotions that deserve professional attention.
Coming to terms with possibly not having a genetic child requires genuine grieving, including mourning the pregnancy experience you imagined and letting go of expected genetic connections.
Successful transition often involves reframing your story from “I can’t have children” to “I’m going to become a mother through adoption,” and from “This isn’t how I planned it” to “This is my unique path to the child meant for me.”
American Adoptions can connect you with fertility counseling, support groups, and online communities for women pursuing adoption after infertility.
Real Stories of Women Who Became Mothers through Adoption
These are real testimonials from American Adoptions clients:
“I don’t even bother playing the lotto because we’ve already won. Without a doubt, by far, they are the greatest gifts in our life.” – Mike, American Adoptions adoptive father
“We hope she realizes that she filled a tremendous void in our lives and we will thank her for the rest of our lives… She is truly a remarkable lady and will forever be a member of our family.” – Jerry, American Adoptions adoptive parent
“An open adoption isn’t necessarily a back door for the birth parents to come back and take their baby; it’s just more people to love your kid. Don’t be afraid of open adoption; it can be awesome.” – Cathy, American Adoptions adoptive parent
How We Support Adoptive Families Like Yours
With American Adoptions, you’ll receive:
- Honest Wait Times: Most families are matched in an average of 12 months, giving you a clear and realistic expectation.
- Home Study Support: We’re licensed to provide home studies in multiple states. If we aren’t licensed in your state, we’ll connect you with a trusted local provider and guide you through the process.
- Financial Protection: Our adoption disruption insurance protects your investment, providing peace of mind during your journey.
Along with these benefits, you’ll have access to 24/7 support staff, educational resources, and post-placement services to ensure you feel prepared and supported every step of the way.
Find out if we provide home study services in your state.
Taking the Next Step Toward Motherhood
Consider whether you’re ready to let go of genetic connection needs, how you envision relationships with your child’s birth mother, what support systems you have, and how aligned you and your partner are on choosing adoption.
If you’ve been saying “I want to be a mother so badly” and are ready to explore adoption, taking the first step is easier than you think.
Adoption can make you the mother you’ve always known you were meant to be. Contact American Adoptions today to begin your journey.
