I think that most people believe adoption is a great thing in general. They consider it the alternative to abortion, or they believe in personal choices and empowerment. Each of these mind sets seems to be sweet on the surface, but on the root level, they come from places of complete misunderstanding about what it means to be a birth mother. Having an abortion and placing a baby for adoption come from two completely different schools of thought regarding the value of a woman’s body and the value of the life of a child. Being a birth mother, and making that decision to place a child for adoption is about genuinely loving that child. It has nothing to do with anything else except, what I consider, pure love.
I didn’t understand what I was going through at the time, but through research, counseling, and my healing path, I have realized something crucial: I have moved through the grief process when it comes from transitioning from having the role of a custodial parent to the role of being a birth mother.
Long story short, I was a mother for six months. I was excellent at it. I breastfed, paid attention to his vaccination schedule, and practiced attachment parenting. I also worked full-time one hour away, had almost no money left after paying an amazing nanny, and did not get more than four hours of sleep per night.