So, you’ve been chosen for the most important task of bestowing your friend with an expression of your support for their adoption decision. A request has been made for your words of affirmation for your friend’s character and ability to care for a child through adoption. You are eager to aid your friend in their pursuit of adding a child to their family, but how do you properly impose a message to convince others that your friend is in fact capable and prepared for an adoption?

As an adoption home study is being completed, many agencies will request reference letters be provided to them from personal, non-related contacts of the potential adoptive parents. An agency may provide a reference form to be completed on behalf of the potential parents, and others will just ask for letters to be sent to them and written by those contacts. When preparing to deliver such an important document, you want to be sure that it is not incomplete in vouching for your friend’s competencies.

You may be the best friend of twenty years, a co-worker, neighbor, pastor, or fellow church member to the potential adoptive parent requesting your written statement. Your relationship to them will be the basis on why you are knowledgeable enough to vouch for them. Write from this perspective,  following the other tips below, and you can give your friend a valuable gift in bringing home their child.

Make sure you write a professional letter.

Include the date on the letter, use proper formatting for a reference letter, check that you’ve used correct grammar and spelling, and include your printed and signed name at the bottom. Take your responsibility seriously in preparing an appropriate letter.

Let your relationship be known.

How does the prospective adoptive parent know you, and how long have you been acquainted? How did you meet or how would you describe your relationship? Letting the agency know this information will give them a good foundation about your friendship.

Include character traits.

What makes your friend a good prospect for adopting a child? Give examples of their strengths as a wife or husband, a co-worker, or friend from what you know. How have you seen them display love, integrity, compassion, generosity, etc., and how would that make them a good fit as an adoptive parent?

What is their relationship like with other family members or friends?

Give information when you have seen your friend interact with those around them and how they handle situations, good or bad, with others. Relationships with those close to them can be good indicators of how they would parent their adopted child in the future.

What type of morals or values does your friend have?

Can you attest to their beliefs or standards that would guide them as parents when adopting? If so, include your knowledge of this when describing their traits.

Give examples of child interaction.

What experience does your friend have with children, and how do their personalities have a positive impact on children, in your opinion? Showing that your friend has familiarity with children is important to include in your letter.

Make sure you have the correct agency information.

When addressing your letter, be certain you have the name, address, and phone number of the agency you will be sending your letter to in order for it to be spelled correctly and arrive without delay.

Count it a privilege that your friend trusts you with the honor of recommending them as a potential adoptive parent. You are given this task with the hope that it benefits your friend in their journey.