Hopeful adoptive parents often ask us, “What are prospective birth mothers looking for in adoptive family profiles?”
It’s normal to wonder this, and we understand that many adoptive parents ask this question from a place of wanting to improve their profile views and have a prospective birth mother choose them. However, what to put on an adoptive family profile is not an exact science, and there is no single answer to what prospective birth mothers want to see. Because every prospective birth mother’s adoption preferences are different, so is what she wants to see in the profile of the adoptive family she chooses.
We highly recommend that any hopeful adoptive parents asking this question contact their adoption specialist. Your specialist can answer all the questions you have about how to improve your adoptive family profile, what your current statistics are on views and what the exact process is for potential birth mothers viewing adoptive family profiles.
In general, there are three big things that prospective birth mothers look for in adoptive family profiles:
1. A Unique Connection to a Family
More than anything else, women who are placing their child for adoption want to have a “gut feeling” when it comes to the adoptive family they choose. Sometimes, they know exactly what they want in a family; other times, they may not know until they see the right family what they wanted.
Often, the things that provide an immediate connection for a prospective birth mother can be some of the smallest, most unique traits. For example, a birth mother who grew up with a certain kind of dog may see a family with that same kind of dog and then decide they are right for her. It may also be something like an adoptive mom who shares the same interests, or the state in which they are located.
Generally, these things that make a connection for a prospective birth mother are often not things that an adoptive family can control. That’s why our adoption specialists recommend that all adoptive families be as honest to themselves as possible in their profiles. Often, it’s the most unique things about a family that make an expectant mother choose them. When you’re true to who you are in your profile, rather than comparing yourself to other families, you will have a better chance of finding the perfect birth mother.
2. Detailed and Happy Pictures
While prospective birth mothers do read the descriptions and information in a family’s profile, this text usually comes second to the pictures and visual information in the profile. Like the majority of people today, prospective birth mothers often prefer looking at photos than reading text. Having current, high-quality photos in your adoption profile gives a prospective birth mother a better idea of what your family is really like. Understandably, a woman is much more comfortable choosing an adoptive family who is candidly happy in their photos than one with photos that look staged or uncomfortable for the subjects.
If you ever have questions about the photos in your profile, your media specialist can provide advice on whether the quality is high enough to make the best profile for you.
3. A Positive Perspective on Adoption
Choosing adoption is a difficult decision for every prospective birth mother to make. Therefore, they want to be reassured that the family they choose for their baby respects and celebrates the adoption process. A birth mother wants her child to grow up knowing about his or her adoption and, often, their birth family — so seeing an adoptive family emphasize that commitment in their adoptive family profile is crucial.
When you are creating your family profile, think hard about your letter to a prospective birth mother and the promises you will make her. Put yourself in her shoes, and try to imagine what she is feeling. While you should never make promises you can’t keep (like promising an open adoption with annual visits if you are uncomfortable with that), take the time to write about how you will celebrate adoption and your child’s birth mother’s decision in your household. Emphasize your excitement for the adoption process, and a prospective birth mother will pick up on it.
Remember, there is no “right” way to make an adoptive family profile. If you are a hopeful adoptive family, focus on honestly representing yourself, and the perfect birth mother will find you!
Contact our adoption specialists at 1-800-ADOPTION for more information about the profile process with our agency.