Birth Mother’s Day is held on the Saturday before Mother’s Day– May 12th this year. It is a special day set aside to honor your child’s birth mother and is becoming more celebrated each year, but many birth mothers do not even know that this special day exists to honor them. Mother’s Day is a wonderful day for adoptive mothers, but can be difficult for a birth mother, as she sees mothers around her honored and celebrated. Just like with any grieving process, anniversaries and holidays can bring more thoughts of the adoption to birth mothers. Some birth mothers find that this time of reflection or grief hits them most on the child’s birthday; others feel it during Christmas or other major holidays, and some feel it around Mother’s Day. Of course, every woman’s experience is different, and she will handle her grief and loss differently.
It’s important to take time to honor your child’s birth mother and help her remember each and every year what a great thing she did by choosing adoption for her child. Sending pictures and letters throughout the year is one way to help birth mothers feel comfort. If you have ongoing contact and a relationship with your child’s birth mother (even if just through pictures and letters), think about sending her a Birth Mother’s Day card and explain that you are thinking of her on this day. Or send an adoption book like Hero. Homemade gifts are always sweet, too. Families who don’t have contact with their child’s birth mother can still take part in this special day. Create a special tradition or ceremony within your family to honor your child’s birth mother. Make a donation to a charity in honor of your child’s birth mother, or reminisce and tell your child’s adoption story as a family. There is plenty of information about this holiday and the special ways that people celebrate it online. Remember, celebrating Birth Mother’s Day does not take away from your role as your child’s mother. Think of Birth Mother’s Day as the perfect prelude to Mother’s Day. How wonderful for your family to be able to honor this very special woman whose gift allows you to celebrate Mother’s Day the very next day! Some have different viewpoints and feel that Birth Mother’s Day does the exact opposite of what it was created to do. Some think that a birth mother should be recognized and celebrated on Mother’s Day also, and there should not be differentiation because an adopted child has two mothers with different roles. Whatever your specific beliefs or relationships are, we encourage you to take time to reflect and honor both mothers’ irreplaceable roles in your child’s life!