Every prospective birth mother will have her own criteria when it comes to finding the perfect adoptive family. When she’s envisioning the perfect life for her child, she’ll be thinking of the type of home she wants them to grow up in, how many siblings she wants them to have, what kind of school she wants them to go to, and so much more.
But, while these qualities are extremely important, they aren’t the only ones that she should be focusing on.
Looking for the perfect adoptive family can be overwhelming. How will you know when you’ve found the real deal?
There are few important questions you’ll need to ask to make your search easier. While it might seem like a difficult task now, we promise that you will find a family that matches your goals for adoption, no matter how long it takes.
1. They’ve Done Their Research
Adoption is more complicated than most people expect. This means that the right adoptive family will be able to show they’ve done plenty of research. They should understand life for an adoptee and be prepared to help their child through any difficulties he or she may face. Most importantly, they should have an idea of what you, the prospective birth mother, are going through and how hard a decision like this is to make.
The adoptive parents may not know everything at the start, but they should have a pretty good foundation for the beginning of your relationship.
2. They Want to Get to Know the Real You
Once you’ve found a family that checks all of your boxes, it’s time to start getting to know them. During your conversations, there are a few things that you should keep an eye out for:
- Do they seem excited and interested in what you have to say?
- Do they look forward to your messages and phone calls?
- Are they interested in learning about your hobbies, passions and dreams?
Pay attention to these signs that they’re really excited about getting to know you as a person.
Remember, you don’t have to pick the first family you talk to. If you have a gut feeling that something isn’t quite right, even if you can’t explain it, don’t brush it aside. That voice in your head is there for a reason. If it seems like they’re only being friendly because they’re hoping you’ll place with them, be wary. If this is the case, it could be a sign that they won’t be as open to having a relationship with you once the adoption is over. They should be drawn to you as much as you are to them.
You are so much more than just a prospective birth mother, and the right adoptive family will know that.
3. They’ve Been Thoroughly Screened By a Professional
Not just anyone can adopt a newborn. If you’re planning on working with an agency, you should find one that thoroughly screens their prospective adoptive families before placement (like American Adoptions does). This way, you can rest easy knowing that your child will be placed into a safe, loving home with a family that will cherish them. With so much on the line, you don’t want to take any chances.
You should also look for an adoptive family that’s been screened prior to starting the adoption process. This ensures that you’ll be placing your child into a safe and loving home. Families that have been thoroughly screened have often:
- Completed the adoption home study
- Completed parenting or training classes
- Shown their commitment to adoption
- Are open and excited for contact with you
- And more
Keep in mind that, even if you’re working independently to complete your adoption, you should still only consider a family that’s been thoroughly screened prior to the adoption.
How Will I Know I’ve Found the Perfect Family?
When you know, you just know. The right adoptive family will be everything you’re looking for and so much more. Remember to trust your instincts during this process and keep your standards high. No matter how long it takes, we can absolutely promise that you will find the family of your dreams.
The most important thing to do is take your time. Finding the right adoptive family doesn’t always happen in a day. You’ll probably have to look through many adoptive family profiles until you find the one that’s right for you.
If you have any questions along the way, don’t forget that you can always reach out to our adoption specialists for help finding the family that’s right for you.