It’s common to hear the phrase “giving a baby up for adoption.”
If you’re a woman experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, you’ve probably used this phrase yourself. It’s common language, and there’s nothing negative behind it. However, it’s not really an accurate way to describe adoption.
When you choose adoption, you’re not giving up. Far from it. You’re giving the opportunity for life. Women who choose adoption make a brave, selfless and confident decision. They do something proactive with lifelong implications for their baby, themselves and a hopeful adoptive couple. This is nothing like giving up.
Adoption is beautiful. It’s also difficult, and it’s not right for everyone. If you’re considering adoption, you should know some of the ways it can change your life forever.
Here are three ways adoption could change the rest of your life.
Relief from Current Pressures
If you are considering adoption, you would likely say things are hard in your life at the moment. Modern-day adoption is focused on you as the prospective birth mother and can provide relief from some of your hardships.
First off, you are in charge of the adoption process. Life may keep throwing you curveballs; one surprise after another. In the adoption process, you call the shots. This sense of control helps many women feel empowered.
Second, adoption can provide financial assistance for some pregnancy-related expenses. This depends on your unique situation and the laws of your state. In some situations, costs such as living expenses, medical expenses, transportation and more can be covered. No matter what, adoption is always free to you.
Receiving this temporary relief from the pressures in your life creates the space for you to establish a solid foundation. You can use this time to prepare for life post-placement. After going through the process and finding healing, you can walk forward with a new sense of purpose, hopefully with even greater control of your life.
A New Beginning
Women from all walks of life consider adoption. There many young women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy who are still in school, and they know that parenting isn’t an option. Young adults may not be in the financial situation to raise a child. Many women don’t have the support of the father of the baby, which makes parenting daunting. Other women may be in a strong relationship — even a marriage — but just aren’t prepared for a baby at the moment.
Whatever your reason is, adoption can mean a new beginning after this unexpected surprise. Unexpected pregnancy doesn’t have to throw a wrench into your life plan. Adoption gives women an opportunity to carry on with their education, continue advancing in their career or simply stay afloat in the midst of a difficult situation.
The beauty of adoption is that it can provide this chance for birth mothers while also giving the baby an opportunity to thrive in a loving family.
An Unexpected Relationship
Placement at the end of the adoption process doesn’t have to be goodbye; it can simply be a “see you later.” Most modern-day adoptions are at least semi-open. What does this mean, exactly?
Adoption communication exists on a scale of openness:
For many decades, almost all adoptions were closed. This resulted in a difficult healing process for both the child and the prospective birth mother. Especially later on in life, closed adoptions made it difficult for adoptees to answer pressing questions about heritage and identity.
Things have changed. Most adoptions today are at least semi-open, which means there is ongoing communication moderated by a third party (like an adoption agency). In fully open adoptions, the birth parents and adoptive parents have a real, personal relationship.
Most birth mothers, understandably, think primarily about their baby when considering adoption. Something else worth considering is the lifelong impact an open adoption relationship can have on you. Many birth mothers have found this to be one of the most meaningful, positive relationships in their life.
You can choose the level of openness you want when you create an adoption plan. Adoptive family profiles will only be shown to you if the family has indicated a willingness to accept the same level of openness you desire. When your baby is placed with their new adoptive parents, this isn’t a final goodbye. It can be the beginning of a new kind of relationship that will change your life.