A family’s decision to pursue adoption is one that rarely happens overnight.
Many couples take weeks, months and even years to transition from infertility treatments to adoption, while other couples have been aware of their infertility for years and have prepared themselves for adoption.
Regardless, every couple must make sure they are ready to adopt before they begin the adoption process.
There are three main factors that determine if a couple is ready for adoption:
1. Both spouses have moved on from infertility
In order for an adoption to be successful, it must be a decision that is fully embraced by both spouses.
Individuals grieve and handle difficult situations differently, including infertility. Therefore, it is common for one spouse to be ready to adopt while the other remains uncertain.
Each spouse should allow the other to fully grieve and move through the grief and loss process at his or her own pace. If one spouse is not ready for adoption, it can often lead to complications within the adoption process itself. A spouse should not feel pressured into pursuing adoption simply because the other spouse is ready.
Couples who struggle to move on from infertility are encouraged to see an infertility counselor or a marriage and family counselor.
2. Both spouses have the same adoption plan
Just as each spouse must be ready to adopt, they also must be on the same page for how they are going to adopt and whom they are going to adopt.
An adoptive couple’s adoption plan should include whether they want to adopt:
3. The adoptive couple is financially prepared for adoption
Whether the couple pursues a domestic or an international adoption, there are adoption costs they must prepare for, including medical, legal and travel expenses.
Couples should carefully research all of their options and compare those costs to their budget to determine if they are financially ready to pursue adoption.
Couples should also consider the future. If pursuing adoption will compromise their financial future, they may want to wait until their financial situation becomes more stable.
When deciding whether or not you are ready to pursue adoption, the key is to openly communicate with your spouse. Discuss all aspects of adoption, including each other's feelings regarding infertility, acceptance of an adopted child, adoption goals and financial security.
If you are both ready to adopt or have any questions about moving on from infertility, call an Adoption Specialist at 1-800-ADOPTION or request free adoption information.
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