Should I Adopt a Child?
4 Good Reasons to Adopt
“Without my son, I wouldn’t be where I am. I probably wouldn’t even be here today if it wasn’t for adoption.” - Ted, adoptive father
It’s undeniably true that a countless number of people feel exactly the same as Ted: that life is meaningless without the gift of becoming a parent. For that reason, thousands of people every year choose to adopt. And like Ted, without adoption, many of these peoples’ lives might remain unfulfilled.
If you’ve ever felt the same draw to adoption and parenting, you might be wondering: Should I adopt a child?
There is no magical “should you adopt a child” quiz that can tell you definitively if it’s right for you. It’s one of the biggest decisions of your life, and it’s not one that can be made simply by clicking on some oversimplified questions with a predetermined answer. If you and your partner are asking yourselves, “Should we adopt?” the answer is in the bigger picture.
Should We Adopt a Child After Failed Infertility Treatments?
Before considering adopting a child, many couples attempt infertility treatments, such as in vitro fertilization (IVF). Some find success, but many do not. In fact, according to the American Pregnancy Association, only 30 to 35 percent of women under 35 years old will become pregnant though IVF. As women get older, their chances of success decrease dramatically.
Many couples whose first attempts are unsuccessful try again and again. With each failed attempt, more money is lost, and sometimes the couple suffers mental and physical effects from the treatments. They may reach a point where they just can’t do it anymore, financially, physically and emotionally.
Eventually, many couples decide that their real dream is to become parents, not to become pregnant. They realize that raising a child together is what’s important, and whether that is through pregnancy or adoption doesn’t matter.
Signs You Should Adopt a Child
So, why adopt a child? And how do you know if this is the right solution at the right time for you? If you are currently reading this article attempting to determine, “Should I adopt a child?” it’s important to make sure that you fully believe all of the following statements.
I am ready to love a child unconditionally, whether or not we share any genetics.
If you’ve gone through IVF procedures or other fertility treatments, it’s likely that you may have come to understand that what’s really important to you is becoming a parent, not becoming pregnant. If you choose to adopt, you must understand that the child will not necessarily look like you. He or she may not have your curly hair or your partner’s nose, but they will have all of the love you can possibly give to them. And we promise: You will love your adopted child just as much as you would have if you had conceived them yourselves. You should adopt only when you feel confident that you can provide the same unconditional love and support to your child, regardless of biological ties.
I can provide a child with a safe, stable and loving home.
You do not have to be wealthy to provide a child with a stable home. However, it’s also important that you are financially prepared to meet all of the monetary demands of the adoption process as well as maintain your home and provide your child with all of the opportunities he or she deserves for the next 18 or more years. There is a lot that goes into the adoption process and into parenting a child, and your finances should reflect that you are prepared for this undertaking.
I understand that there will be emotional highs and lows of the adoption process.
As the adoption process continues, there will be difficult moments for both you and your partner. As each individual situation is different, no one can predict for sure what those moments will be. However, it’s important that you are ready to trust the process and believe that you will have the child you are meant to have when all is said and done.
My partner and I are on the same page about adoption.
If you are wondering, “Should I adopt a child?” while knowing that your spouse is not quite ready, this is not a good idea. Everyone comes to the adoption decision in their own time, but it’s important that you are a family unit when discussing the important ways that you are about to change both your own lives and that of a child.
If you meet all of the above requirements and you are still left wondering, “Should I adopt?” then it’s quite possible that that answer is yes.
Because life offers so many memorable moments, sometimes it is hard to realize how special they are without a child there to remind us. The joy a father sees in his son’s eyes when he attends his first baseball game, or the excitement a mom sees on her daughter’s face the first time she sees the top of a cloud from an airplane window — these are moments made special because of the presence of a child.
Adoption has given and continues to give people like Ted the opportunity to lead fulfilling, meaningful lives alongside their children and, in turn, provides children opportunities in life once thought unachievable.
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