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What Does Adoption Mean to a Birth Mother?

Adoption means something different to every birth mom, but the goal at the center of it all is the same: to give their baby the best life possible.

If you have questions about adoption as a birth mom, you can click here to reach out to an adoption specialist today to get the support you need.

No matter what your reason is for choosing adoption as a birth mom, you’re making a brave and selfless choice. We’ve helped birth mothers from many different backgrounds and situations, and have helped them place their baby with hopeful adoptive parents who can give their baby the life they deserve.

What is a Birth Mom?

There’s no singular answer to this question. Every birth mom is different and their adoption journeys are as unique as they are. American Adoptions has worked with birth mothers who choose adoption for various reasons.

In their own words, here is what adoption means to these birth mothers:

Lindsay: Birth Moms Want the Best for Their Baby

At the core of every birth mother’s decision to choose adoption is the desire to give their baby a future full of love and opportunity.

Lindsey was already a single mom to her baby with special needs, Trinity, when she became unexpectedly pregnant with Charlotte. At first, the thought of placing Charlotte for adoption seemed impossible after knowing the love of her first child. But she knew she had to take herself out of the equation and think about what was best for both of her children. That’s when she chose adoption.

“I knew that what I was doing in placing in Charlotte for adoption was 100 percent out of love,” Lindsey said. “I loved her so much that I had to be selfless.”

Many birth mothers like Lindsey choose to place their baby with adoptive parents who can provide their child with everything they need.

“That’s why I wanted an open adoption. I wanted her to know that I placed you for adoption because I love you. I wanted to give you that best chance at life. I knew that family could send her to college, take her on vacations, have her join all the sports she wants to. I see how well she’s doing and how happy that is. It just reaffirms that I made the right decision.”

Tiffany: Birth Mothers Make Their Own Path

Finding out you’re unexpectedly pregnant when you already had a path mapped out for your life can make you feel unprepared and overwhelmed. Whether you’re furthering your education, focusing on your career or just aren’t in a place where you want to have a child, choosing adoption is a chance for birth mothers to live the life they had envisioned for themselves.

“Because of adoption, I get to pursue everything that I wanted to do, while also getting to watch my daughters grow up and be a part of their lives. I have adoption to thank for that,” says Tiffany, who was able to go further her education to become a paramedic.

Adoption allows you to take control of your situation and decide the path ahead of you. After all, adoption is something that is always the birth mom’s choice to make.

Cassidy: Birth Moms are Heroes to an Adoptive Family

No matter how you look at it, adoption is a brave and selfless decision.  Not only are birth moms heroes to their child, they’re heroes to their baby’s adoptive parents.

 You are making a selfless sacrifice and giving the adoptive parents the gift of parenthood.  Over time, many birth mothers form meaningful relationships with the adoptive parents. Your baby’s adoptive parents will give everything they have to make sure your baby has the future you want them to have.

“I knew I wasn’t going to be able to provide the future that I wanted for my daughter and I knew another family could. I was looking for somebody that I could see my own parents in, and could see myself in and my values,” says Cassidy, a birth mom who chose adoption for her baby.

Many of the birth moms we’ve worked with have helped hopeful adoptive couples become the family they always wanted to be. Ericka is one of those birth mothers.

“Adoption was the best thing for me and I helped a family become a family and that filled me with so much love and happiness,” says Ericka. “This is the hardest decision that I’ve ever had to make, but I don’t regret it. I know that she is happy and healthy and loved by so many people.”

Sara: Birth Mothers are Mothers

While birth moms may have given their baby(s) an amazing life with adoptive parents, they are not any less of a mother. With open adoption, birth mothers are able to have a relationship with their child, depending on the post-adoption contact arrangement with the adoptive parents.

When Sara became unexpectedly pregnant in her 40s after already raising two children on her own, she knew that adoption was the best gift she could give her baby, Teddy.  It was a hard decision, but when she placed her baby with loving adoptive parents, Sammi and Korby, she knew Teddy would have everything he’d ever need.

“Our relationship is very open…They go above and beyond. They make sure that I have my pictures every day, even though it’s supposed to be once a month. I get video chats with them whenever I want, so I get to see Teddy all the time. I love our relationship. I couldn’t have asked for more,” says Sara about her open adoption.

Through open adoption, birth moms can stay in contact with their child and their child’s adoptive family. This not only can give you peace of mind knowing your child is happy and healthy, but can also benefit your child. They never have to wonder where they came from and can ask questions about their adoption story.

You may have placed your baby in the arms of a loving adoptive family, but you will always be your baby’s birth mother.

Adoption Support for Birth Mothers

Adoption means something different for everyone. But no matter why you’ve chosen adoption, it always means you’re giving your baby an amazing life full of love and opportunity.  To get more information about what adoption means to a birth mom, speak with an adoption specialist today.

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. American Adoptions provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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