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How to Move on After an Adoption Disruption with a Birth Parent

At American Adoptions, pregnant women considering adoption receive personal and attentive counseling to help them be sure that adoption is the right choice for them. However, there are still occasions when a prospective birth mother decides not to move forward with an adoption plan. This is known as an adoption disruption, and it can be devastating for hopeful families.

An adoption disruption can leave you feeling shocked, angry, hurt, and – above all – disappointed. But always remember that it is not the end to an adoption journey. It is a difficult obstacle to overcome, but on the other side is your life as a new family.

If you find yourself dealing with an adoption disruption, here are some of the things you can do as you look ahead:

Give Yourself and Your Partner Time to Grieve

An adoption disruption is a loss, and like any other loss, you will need to cope with your feelings. Everybody grieves in a different way and at their own pace, so let yourself move through the process and acknowledge your emotions.

Your partner will also grieve in his or her own way. Some people may share their emotions freely, while others may not want to communicate much at all. Allow your partner to grieve in his or her own way while maintaining open lines of communication. Before moving forward, you and your partner must be on the same page and want the same things.

Friends and family can be a great source of comfort during this time. Do not be afraid to reach out to loved ones with whom you can share your feelings.

Decide When You’re Ready to Try Again

Sometimes, the most effective way to heal is to give yourself time. The heartbreak of an adoption disruption may not heal quickly, but as it begins to fade, you will be able to look forward and think about what your next steps will be.

Some hopeful parents are ready to become active again right away. Others may choose to take a break before looking for another adoption opportunity. Our agency provides financial protection against adoption disruptions and our adoption specialists will be there when you are ready to restart the process.

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Do we need to retain our own attorney?

No, American Adoptions has established relationships with some of the best adoption attorneys in the nation. Because adoption laws vary from state to state and between counties, it is important to utilize the services of an adoption attorney who specializes in the state where the adoption will finalize, which is unknown until you match with an expectant mother. You have the right to retain your own attorney, but doing so may be an additional, unnecessary expense.

Can we choose the gender of our baby?

American Adoptions accepts a limited number of families into our gender-specific program. Please contact us at 1-800-ADOPTION to learn whether we are currently accepting families into this program. With this option, families pay an additional Gender-Specific Fee to help our agency locate and work with birth mothers meeting this additional criterion. This fee is in addition to other program fees and covers additional advertising. The fee is not considered part of your adoption budget. Please note that gender specificity will likely increase your wait time significantly.

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