Is Your Family Ready for Adoption?
3 Signs Adoption is Right for You
A family’s decision to pursue adoption is one that rarely happens overnight. It’s also a decision that each family must make themselves — there is no simple “Am I ready to adopt a child?” quiz that can tell you whether this path is right for you.
This choice can be especially complicated if you’ve been trying for months or years to grow your family on your own. Many couples take weeks, months and even years to transition from infertility treatments to adoption, while other couples have been aware of their infertility for years and have put in a good deal of work to ensure that they are truly ready for the adoption process.
Regardless, every couple must make sure they are ready to adopt before they begin worrying about how to begin the process. And it’s more than just sitting down and asking yourself, “Am I ready to adopt?” Making this decision is a process in and of itself, and it’s one that resources like American Adoptions can help you to thoroughly consider.
Every hopeful parent must decide for themselves whether adoption is truly the right path for them — and whether they’re really ready to start the process. However, this isn’t a choice you have to make alone. If you are considering adoption and need more information to finalize your decision, don’t hesitate to reach out to an adoption specialist at 1-800-ADOPTION.
In the meantime, here are three signs you might be ready to begin this life-changing journey:
1. You Have Moved on from Infertility
In order for an adoption to be successful, it must be a decision that is fully embraced by both spouses. If you have struggled with infertility, it is so, so important that you have fully grieved the loss of being able to experience a pregnancy or being genetically related to offspring before considering other family-building methods. An adopted child deserves just as much love and excitement as one that was conceived the “traditional” way.
Individuals grieve and handle difficult situations differently, including infertility. Therefore, it is common to have one spouse in the family ready to adopt while the other remains uncertain. This is completely okay, and it’s nothing to worry about. Grief is different for different people.
With this in mind, then, it’s critical that each spouse allows the other to fully grieve and move through the grief and loss process at his or her own pace. If you or your spouse are not ready for adoption, it can often lead to complications within the adoption process itself. Neither you nor your spouse should feel pressured into pursuing adoption simply because the other one is ready. If you ask yourself, “Am I ready to adopt?” and the answer is no, let your spouse know. Be honest, and talk about where you’re at in your own grief and loss process.
Couples who struggle to move on from infertility are encouraged to see an infertility counselor or a marriage and family counselor. It is extremely important to pursue this option before attempting to begin the adoption process. These things take time; attempting to rush each other through the grieving process will benefit no one, least of all your future child.
2. You and Your Spouse Have Similar Adoption Plans
Just as each spouse must be ready to adopt, they also must be on the same page for how they are going to adopt and whom they are going to adopt. Whether you realize it or not, there are actually many different ways to adopt a child. A family ready to adopt is one that knows exactly which type of adoption they are interested in pursuing.
The first question you’ll have to consider when making your adoption plan will be whether you want to:
adopt domestically, internationally or through the state foster care system.
adopt a newborn or an older child.
adopt a baby of a particular gender.
adopt a baby of a particular race or races.
have contact with the birth parents, and how much.
Speaking with an adoption specialist will help you and your spouse to better understand certain aspects of the adoption plan, which, ultimately, should help you to come to a decision on the exact form of adoption that’s perfect for you and your family. We promise, there’s a specific adoption situation out there waiting just for you!
3. You Are Financially Prepared for Adoption
Whether you pursue a domestic or an international adoption, there are adoption costs you must prepare for, including medical, legal and travel expenses.
You should carefully research all of your options and compare those costs to your budget to determine if your family is financially ready to pursue adoption. You don’t have to be rich to adopt a child, but it is important that you are able to provide them with a safe and stable home while still considering your financial future. Remember, raising children is expensive. In addition to the costs to adopt, you’ll need to ensure you’ll have a stable financial situation to consider opportunities like extracurricular activities in addition to secondary education.
When deciding whether or not you are ready to pursue adoption, the key is to openly communicate with your spouse. Discuss all aspects of adoption, including each other's feelings regarding infertility, acceptance of an adopted child, adoption goals and financial security.
If you are both ready to adopt or have any questions about moving on from infertility, call an adoption specialist at 1-800-ADOPTION or request free adoption information.
Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.