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What Happens When Transgender People Face an Unintended Pregnancy?

An unplanned pregnancy can happen to anyone. Right now, it might feel like your life has come to a screeching halt, and you’re stuck trying to figure out what to do next.

As you may have discovered already, your options for an unplanned pregnancy are: 

  • Abortion
  • Adoption
  • Parenting

But what happens when you’re a transgender man with an unexpected pregnancy?

You still have the right to choose any of your unplanned pregnancy options. We know that, right now, you may be feeling scared, anxious and unsure of what to do next. But we can and will do everything we can to support you and help you make the best decision for you — whatever that is. We are here to offer free, unbiased and supportive information and will never sway you toward one decision over another. We know that every situation is different, and you are the only one who can decide what happens with your unplanned pregnancy.

In this guide, we’ve compiled all the information you need to know about:

  • Your unplanned pregnancy options
  • What the adoption process is like
  • How American Adoptions can help
  • And more

To learn more, you can keep reading below. But if you’d like to speak with one of our adoption specialists, you can reach out to us at 1-800-ADOPTION. You can also always fill out our free online form to get more info.

Your Unplanned Pregnancy Options

Adoption

Adoption is always, always an option when you’re a transgender man with an unexpected pregnancy. And with our agency, you don’t have to worry about not getting the care you need. We are a non-religious affiliated adoption agency, and we offer free, unbiased information about all of your unplanned pregnancy options, not just adoption. We can walk you through the adoption process from start to finish, and we’ll be here to support you every step of the way.

For many birth parents, choosing adoption is the best unplanned pregnancy option. They get to watch their child grow up in a safe, loving environment, while still being able to focus on themselves and their own goals. Knowing that they gave another family the gift of finally becoming parents is often its own reward, and it is another big reason why many choose adoption. When Julia found out about her pregnancy, she knew that adoption was the right choice for her from the very beginning:

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s really hard,” Julia says. “There were plenty of times when I felt like I was scared… but I felt like it was the right decision for me — and I still feel like that today.”

While it does have its own challenges, it could be the right unplanned pregnancy option for you. 

 Abortion

If you’re a transgender man who gets pregnant, whether you can get an abortion might be one of your biggest concerns. You likely have questions about being pregnant and a transgender abortion. We know that looking for medical care can be incredibly difficult, and sometimes dangerous, and we know that you’re likely scared about where to turn.

When it comes to accessing abortion, the laws vary state by state and are subject to change. If you think you may be pregnant, we encourage you to reach out to a safe provider you know you can trust for prenatal care first to learn more about your options. Depending on how far along you are, they can provide more information on what your next steps should be.

In many states, it can be harder to find a doctor who will provide an abortion after 12 weeks of pregnancy, and almost all states ban abortion by 25 weeks. So, if you’re pregnant, transgender and considering abortion, we encourage you to reach out to a provider as soon as possible.

Parenting

If you’ve just found out about your unplanned pregnancy, then you might ask yourself, “Am I ready to be a parent?”

This decision is entirely up to you. Whether a pregnancy is unplanned or planned, many people consider parenthood to be a gift. But, like all of your unplanned pregnancy options, there are a few things that you might want to think about first.

  • Do you have the means to support yourself and your child?
  • Can you provide the life you always wanted for them?
  • Do you want to be parent right now?

These are just a few of the many questions to ask yourself if you’re thinking about parenting. If you’re ready and willing, parenting can be a great unplanned pregnancy option for you.

How does the Adoption Process Work?

The adoption process for transgender people with an unintended pregnancy works much the same as any other adoption. Here’s how the steps typically look:

Step 1: Contact American Adoptions. The first place to start if you’re considering adoption is to reach out to a trans-affirming adoption agency, like American Adoptions. When you first reach out to us, you’ll be connected to your very own adoption specialist. They’ll go over everything you need to know about making an adoption plan, what you’re looking for in a family, and more.

Step 2: Choose adoptive parents. The next step is to find a family. At American Adoptions, we work with hopeful parents from across the country from all walks of life. Because we have hundreds of families you can choose from at any given time, you have a better chance of finding the perfect match with us.

Step 3: Get to know the adoptive family.  Once you’ve found a family, it’s time to start getting to know them. Initially, you’ll start with a mediated phone call with your adoption specialist. But afterward, you can get to know each other through phone calls, emails, video calls and more. Of course, contact is entirely up to you. We understand that you might not be in a place where you’re comfortable talking to the family, and that’s perfectly okay.

Step 4: Prepare for the hospital. Before you prepare for the hospital stay, your specialist will help you find prenatal care to make sure you and your baby are doing okay. The next step to prepare for is the hospital stay for your transgender unintended pregnancy. We know that, right now, you’re feeling understandably anxious. Trying to receive access to medical care along while looking for a professional who is inclusive can be scary and overwhelming. But with American Adoptions, you will have a compassionate ally by your side who will treat you with the respect you deserve. We will be here to advocate for you during every part of your hospital stay and will support you in any way we can.

As a prospective birth parent, all of your medical expenses are covered. So, you don’t need to worry about paying for anything. You also have full control over making a hospital adoption plan. You can decide how much interaction you have with the adoptive parents, how much time you want to spend with the baby and more. Once the baby is born, you’ll usually need to wait between 48-72 hours before you can complete your adoption paperwork. How long you’ll have to wait depends on the state you live in. Your adoption specialist and your adoption attorney will help prepare you for the legal process of placing a child up for adoption.

Step 5: Continue your open adoption relationship. If you choose to, you can continue your relationship with the adoptive family and your baby. You can continue your relationship through phone calls, emails, pictures and letters and more. Please don’t forget that this doesn’t have to be the end of your relationship with your adoption specialist, too. If you ever need someone to talk to, they are always there to listen.

I’m a transgender man with an unexpected pregnancy. How will I find an adoptive family?

If you’re FTM and pregnant while considering adoption, you’re probably worried about how you’ll find a family that’s inclusive and supportive. But with our agency, we will make the process as seamless as possible.

As a national adoption agency, we work with families from all over the country. This means that we have hundreds of families to choose from, and you can get really specific about what you’re looking for. As you think about your preferences in an adoptive family, ask yourself:

  • Do I want a family who lives close to me?
  • Do I want my child to grow up with siblings?
  • Do I want them to be an only child?
  • Do I want to find a family who shares the same religious or cultural background as me?
  • And more

Many birth parents have worried about finding the perfect family. But when they knew, they just knew. Randi, a birth mother, knew that she’d found the right family after reading their adoptive family profile:

“When we got matched with them, it was like an instant connection,” she said. Matthew and Katheryn made themselves available to Randi throughout her pregnancy with weekly phone calls. “If I wanted to talk one week, they would talk to me. If I didn’t, if my emotions were just too strong, they were like, ‘Ok, let’s talk next week.’”

Because many of our staff members have a personal connection to adoption, we know what to look for and what makes a great family. When you’re ready to find a family, we can help you find the perfect match.

How American Adoptions Supports Transgender People with an Unintended Pregnancy

At American Adoptions, we want you to know that we’re always here for you. Our specialists are readily available 24/7 whenever you need to talk. Whether you’re only considering adoption right now, in the middle of the adoption process or you’ve placed your child up for adoption, there’s never a bad time to call.

Our specialists will advocate for you at every step of your adoption journey. We will advocate for you at the hospital, when you work with your adoption attorney and any other professional to make sure that you feel safe and respected throughout the entire process. This extends to finding a family as well. We will do everything we can to help you find a family who is open, accepting and respects you when telling your child’s birth story. From start to finish, we will be there for you through every step of a transgender unintended pregnancy.

Things to Know About Adoption as a Transgender Parent

When it comes to transgender unintended pregnancy and adoption, there is some important information you should know about the legal paperwork. This is something that your adoption specialist will prepare you for in more detail before they send you any forms.

In some of the legal forms you’ll be sent, you may see phrases like “biological mother” or “her.” We know that this can be extremely frustrating when the laws are lagging behind where society is. But the wording on any paperwork you come across does not reflect the view of American Adoptions in any way. Reading paperwork that doesn’t reflect who you are can make planning an adoption for a transgender unintended pregnancy tricky. But we will do everything we can to support you in every way, especially with the legal paperwork. Your specialist will advocate for you when talking to your attorney and the hospital staff to use forms that reflect your identity as much as possible.

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If you’re transgender and considering adoption, please know that we’re always ready to help and to listen. No matter what kind of situation you’re in, we want to do everything we can to provide the information you need to make an informed decision. When you’re ready to talk to one of our specialists, please call 1-800-ADOPTION or fill out our online form to learn more about your options for a transgender unintended pregnancy.

 

Disclaimer
Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

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Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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