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| Karen | Posted: Jul 31, 2007 10:30:49 AM
Hi everyone. What a supportive group you all are! My dh and I are waiting for "the call" like so many of you and I'm wondering how other people handle the moments of doubt and uncertainty. Our home study was finalized in March and we officially signed on with AA in early June. While that doesn't seem like long, after nearly four years of fertility treatments, it feels like a very long time. I find myself plagued with doubt sometimes, feeling like we'll never get there, and even wondering sometimes if I really want this. We have built a good life and love each other very much. Is that enough or is it just the waiting and feeling like it isn't going to happen that makes me feel this way? Your thoughts are most welcomed and appreciated.
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| Lisa | Posted: Jul 29, 2007 11:42:37 AM
Adrienne,
You poor thing. I can't believe what you and Clint had to go through. I am so happy that it all worked out in the end and that Remington is home. I can't even imagine how you felt. You went from the highest high to the lowest low. Once again thankfully it all worked out. I was so worried about you when I hadn't seen you guys on the completed adoptions page. It seemed like forever. I can only imagine how you felt. Good things come to those who wait and you are a testimonial to that. Enjoy every minute of you son and thank you for posting your story. Hugs to Remington. I would love to see pictures..
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| theresa2 | Posted: Jul 27, 2007 06:30:27 AM
Kristen, My heart goes out to you. I hope and pray that you will soon have a very successful adoption. I have just recently joined in on this forum (within the last month) and it is so nice to have support from other families that are on the same rollercoaster. Please hang in there. Hope all goes well. Keep me posted.
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| Kristen | Posted: Jul 26, 2007 04:13:41 PM
Hello there ladies! I have been reading your posts for about six months now and find them very supportive and informational. We have been trying to adopt domestically from the State of Arkansas for almost 2 years now. Our lawyer is going into semi-retirement as sson as we have a baby. We are his very last couple everyone else has completed their adoptions. Anyway my conection to AA is that AA has opened an Arkansas office across the street from our lawayer and they are working together to soem extent. I don't completely understand the exact arrangement, but that is how I found all of you and AA. We have had two failed adoptions since June 5th and I guess I ma just looking for some emotional support. OUr first situation was a BM in jail who decided that she wanted to keep the baby not because she wants him, but because she thinks it will help her get out on parole. She out and out said she does not want him. OUr second situation was a BM and her sister-in-law. The BM was supposedly due August 15th and we went out to meet her July 10th and 11th and found out on the 14th that she was not actually pregnant. Needless to say we are numb, angry and trying to move on. Trying right now to decide if we can emotionally continue this adoption journey. We all ready have two beuatiful children. A biological son and an adopted daughter. I should be happy and content, but the longing for a third child in my heart just will not go away. Thanks for listening.
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| kerri | Posted: Jul 26, 2007 03:21:04 PM
OH ADRIENNE!!!!! I kept looking on the site and you were still there........ I was getting so nervous!!! What an incredible story that you all have. I was crying tears of happiness when I finally read the whole thing. Thanks for saying in the beginning that you had him with you. I would love to see pictures. I know that you must just hold him and love him all day!! I LOVE the name byt he way. I am so happy for you!!!!
Kerri
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| theresa2 | Posted: Jul 26, 2007 03:06:53 PM
Adrienne, I have to honest...I cried as I read your latest adventure. I got so excited when I read down farther and found out that all turned out good. Thank God. May your days be filled with love, health and happiness with your little bundle of joy. Your family is blessed and we are very happy for you.
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| whitney | Posted: Jul 26, 2007 03:03:53 PM
Adrienne - I can't believe what all you went through! I am so glad it worked out in the end, but I can't imagine thinking she was going to keep him and then getting the call she changed her mind again! I never doubted our BM, but the hospital experience was not great for us. You could only be alone with Kaitlin if you had an ID bracelet and the BM had one and gave the other to her best friend who only came back once. We did get to hold her and visit with them for about 30 minutes the evening she was born. Our BM had her tubes tied the next day and we only got to see her a few minutes. We never had alone time till the next day when she was discharged. Our BM wanted to say goodbye alone so we did not see her that last day. I am glad because that would have been so hard. We felt bad not seeing her though because we had not told her yet how thankful we were, etc. Terry called her and through tears told her how much we thought of her. When he got off the phone we both cried for a while knowing how bad she was hurting. We also had to stay longer due to paperwork not being right. We were gone 2 whole weeks. I knw you are enjoying every moment with him knowing it was God's will for you to raise this little boy. Thanks for the wishes. I know it has to be any day now for us! (I Hope)
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| michelle | Posted: Jul 26, 2007 02:59:23 PM
adrienne ,
congrats. our first attempt at adoption was like yours however our bm after 3 agonizing weeks decided to parent. but AA came through for us. and we now have the most beautiful little boy.. you can see him at gary and michelle on the profile pages. i thought just being matched would be hard, but know when the mother (and they are the moms) have the baby in the hospital it becomes very real and they have to actually make the decision to place their baby with someone else. it is very scary to us all, i remember feeling like a failure. i couldn't have a baby of my own and now i couldn't make this happen. i was devastated. our adoption couselor was just awesome!!! that is why we decided to go through AA again. adoptive moms go through a labor also it is just EMOTIONAL!!!!
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| Adrienne | Posted: Jul 26, 2007 02:00:44 PM
Hey everyone! What a couple of weeks it has been! I will start off by saying that it has all ended well but it has sure been a bumpy ride to say the least. Our actual journey started almost 3 weeks ago on Sunday the 8th. We met the bm that evening and that went extremely well. She had an appt the next day where they decided to induce that evening. While she didn't want us in the delivery room we were able to wait out in the waiting area with her aunt and uncle. On Tuesday the 10th at 10:30am CA time little Remington Barret was born via C-Section as his heart rate was eratic and the bm wasn't progressing. This is where the emotional roller coaster started. They kept him in ICU for observation for over 4 hours and we didn't have access to him at all. We didn't even know what was going on with him just that they kept holding him in ICU longer and longer. Those 4 hours felt like the longest hours ever. Finally they moved him to the nursery and we were able to look at him through the window. It was such a great feeling knowing that he was healthy and in the clear and to see our son for the first time. After he spent some time with his bm we were able to see and hold him. I didn't ever want to put him down but the bm wanted rest and wanted us to only be around him when she was present so we had to leave him for the night. The next day we were there bright and early but found one excuse after another as to why we couldn't see him and the bm kept sending us messages that she wanted more alone time with him. After 5 hours of this I was fearing the worst and the sw confirmed our fears. She had been breast feeding and was bonding with him a lot and was having second thoughts about the adoption. Luckily she did let us spend about 2 hours of alone time with him in the nursery that afternoon. Unfortunately by Thursday she was seriously having doubts and we were no longer aloud to see him and she didn't want to talk to us. We wrote her a heartfelt letter about how we felt and took it to the hospital that night but I just felt lost. To us he was our baby no matter what and now we had to deal with the thought of never seeing him again. Our hearts were shattered by the reality of what was happening. I don't think I’ve cried so much ever. AA told us that she would have her final decision by 4pm Friday. So we waited some more. Before 1pm Friday AA called to say she had made her decision and she was keeping him. That was the final blow. We immediately booked a flight for Saturday morning and tried to sort out our emotions and figure out how you can move forward. We felt like maybe this was a sign that we really weren't meant to have kids at all. We weren't sure what we were going to do at that point. Then about 4:30 AA called again to say that she thought about it more and talked with her family about the decision some more and she realized she couldn't raise him. She wanted us to have him and would sign papers on Saturday afternoon when she was released. We didn't know what to think at that moment. We wanted so badly to believe this news and trust that she meant it, but we couldn't help but worry that she would again change her mind. But at this point what did we have to lose? We'd already lost him once. The hope of getting him back was enough to get us through that night. I'm not sure that I exhaled though until Saturday when we saw her family and talked with them and they confirmed that she was going through with it. We then had to say a tearful goodbye to her. That was extremely hard. We knew what she was going through. We had just felt all that the past two days so my heart went out to her. Then we finally were able to see our baby boy! It had been 3 very long days since we'd seen him and I couldn't wait to hold him. I only put him down for the car ride that first day. I didn't ever want to not have him with me again. All we did was stare at him in disbelief that this perfect little baby was really truly finally ours. Luckily we both had family nearby so we stayed with them for the next week and a half while paperwork cleared. Paperwork didn't go as smoothly as we hoped for either. The agency out in CA didn't have everything necessary from AA to send the ICPC packet in on Monday like they thought, so we had to wait until Wednesday before it was sent out and then wait for approval. Unfortunately we didn't have clearance by Friday like we hoped so another weekend came and went with us in CA. Luckily Monday morning we got the OK and were on a flight that afternoon. We made it home about 2am Tuesday morning. YAY!!!! It is sooooo good to be home and to finally start our life with this little guy. He is so perfect in every way. He weighed 7lbs 5oz at birth and was 19.5". At his check up at 8 days old he weighed 8lbs and was 20". He has a healthy appetite and is a great baby. Doesn't cry much and loves kisses, which is good because there are tons to give. We definitely think he's a keeper! Thank you to all of you who have kept us in your thoughts and I'm still thinking of you all and will check back in. Lisa, I'm still sending good luck wishes on your match and Whitney it will happen, as you know already it is well worth the wait or whatever you have to go through along the way. Best of luck,
Adrienne
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| NicoleS1974 | Posted: Jul 25, 2007 02:26:24 PM
I was getting worried about so many couples being added so quickly, but I noticed 2 gone today! Which means that 2 couples finally have their little ones! We had our first phone call about our APQ yesterday and it was kind of nerve wracking, but we are just hoping that things go well and we get a call quickly. We knew that being a military family would pose an issue, and our adoption specialist confirmed it, but we are hoping to get a big suprise! It is hard to wait now, and we aren't even officially active yet! I can't imagine how hard it will be once we are actually on the list!
My husband almost gave up when he heard her say that there was a 15-20% chance of disruption. I just can't imagine waiting for a match, getting it, going all the way to the BM's state and seeing that baby, only to go home disappointed. My husbuand is much more worried about it than I am though, so I think he is starting to put his guard back up...
Good luck to those of you that already have matches and speedy matches to everyone else!
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| theresa2 | Posted: Jul 25, 2007 02:00:56 PM
LISA, WE LIVE IN FLORIDA. WHAT PART WILL YOU BE TRAVELING TO?
IT IS NICE TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CONTACT WITH OTHER PEOPLE THAT ARE GOING THROUGH THE PROCESS AT THE SAME TIME THAT WE ARE. IT IS GOOD TO HEAR THE GOOD NEWS FROM OTHERS, AND HOPING THAT OURS WILL COME ALONG SOON
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| Lisa | Posted: Jul 25, 2007 12:02:20 PM
Good Afternoon Theresa,
Congratulations to you too on the progress that you have made towards your adoption. Just think every day you are one day closer. During our wait we continued our "normal" routine. Believe me when I tell you that when you least expect it the call will come. I was at work in a meeting. I am still working now and will be until the baby comes. This board and the women on it have been lifesavers. It makes you realize that you are not alone in this. We are here for you. Our birth mother lives in Florida. Where do you live?
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| theresa2 | Posted: Jul 25, 2007 09:44:21 AM
Congratulations to you and your family Lisa. You must be so excited.
We are in the Trad 2 also. What did you do while you waited? We have only been active 1 1/2 months and even though we try to do our daily routine, the adoption is always popping into our head. Also, where is your birth mom from? Hope all goes well with your visit and please keep us posted.
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| Lisa | Posted: Jul 25, 2007 08:59:25 AM
Good Morning Ladies,
Welcome Kath!! This board is wonderful!! The women here have helped me through many a tough days. They are a great support system. Where do you live? I am in NJ. We waited nearly 10 months in the Trad. 2 program and we were matched with a birth mother on June 14th. She is due Oct. 31 with a little girl. We are going to visit her next weekend. Hang in there. Your baby is out there. Trust me. Which program are you in?
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| Kath | Posted: Jul 23, 2007 03:08:31 PM
It was nice to find this chat on the AA web site today. I also have been waiting to get matched (nine months now) and I check the web site everyday, but this is the first time I found this forum. It is nice to hear about others' experiences.
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| whitney | Posted: Jul 23, 2007 11:05:51 AM
Welcome Theresa. There are still a few of us awiting to be matched or waiting for the baby to be born. Thanks for asking Lisa - Kaitlin is doing well and we are having a good summer. She likes her swing set, but is scared of the pool this summer. Good luck meeting the BM. I am sure you all will have a great meeting. It is so much easier in person. Furniture shopping sounds like fun! No phone call yet as we are about to complete the 16th month waiting. I wish I knew how many birthmothers thay have versus waiting families. It is discouraging to see so many families added the past few weeks. We increased our budget and our APQ loks good and we have good exposure every month. It seems like it should have hapened by now. Adrienne, I am anxious to hear your story and how things went and all about your son! Enjoy being a new mommy!
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| Lisa | Posted: Jul 23, 2007 07:45:45 AM
Good Morning Ladies,
Congratulations Adrienne!! I see that your adoption is now complete. That is wonderful. I know that it was worth the wait. We can't wait to hear the whole story.
Whitney, How are you? How are you and Kaitlin enjoying your summer. All is wonderful on our end. We just started shopping for furniture for the nursery. It is all so overwhelming. Our SW came to our house this weekend to update our Home Study. It was easy because nothing has really changed and it was just the yearly update. We are going to visit our BM in 2 weeks. We can't wait. Hang in there. It is just a phone call away for you. Jenn, I want to thank you for the phone call the other night. Everything that you told me was priceless. It was great to speak to someone who has actually gone through the entire process. You have no idea how helpful it was to me. I hope that soon I will be able to do the same thing for someone. THANK YOU!!!!
Have a great day everyone and hang in there to all of you waiting.
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| theresa2 | Posted: Jul 20, 2007 06:50:21 AM
HEY LADIES... HOPE YOU DONT MIND ME JOINING IN. IM GLAD TO HEAR THAT I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED WITH THE HIGH NUMBER OF ADOPTIVE FAMILIES. DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PRESPECTIVE BIRTH MOMS THEY HAVE. WE HAVE OUR 5 YR OLD SON AND THIS IS OUR FIRST ADOPTION. WE ARE SO EXCITED AND NERVOUS AT THE SAME TIME. WE BECAME ACTIVE ON JUNE 9, 2007. ANY ADVICE THAT YOU GIRLS CAN GIVE ME ALONG THE WAY WILL BE SO HELPFUL. HOPE EVERYONE IS DOING WELL. THANKS
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| michelle | Posted: Jul 14, 2007 04:09:34 PM
gosh, i know what you mean about all the couples. we are in the assisted agency program. we have only been activated since may. however, when we did our first adoption we had a situation very quickly, same week we activated. thats one of the reasons we opened up our APQ so much the second time because we were matched so quickly the first time. we wanted to wait until gabe was 2 now i am wondering if we should have started when he was 1 also.
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| Kim | Posted: Jul 13, 2007 02:45:23 PM
The number of waiting couples used to "freak" me out too until we were in a match and realized we were never taken off the waiting list. You don't know how many couples are appearing as waiting but actually in a match.
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| whitney | Posted: Jul 13, 2007 08:48:21 AM
Jenn, I emailed you again - did you get it? I asked Megan about the number being so high and she said it is probably going to increase some more. She said with more activated couples is more advertising and they are getting more birthmother leads. It is hard for me to see so many new couples. It is more competition. The long wait is just killing me! I wish I had started when Kaitlin was 1 for this second adoption so they would be closer in age. Crazy me thought we might get picked ina few months and we did not want them too close either.
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| Jenn | Posted: Jul 12, 2007 11:36:36 PM
I just logged in to check the forum messages real quick and I noticed that there are 150 waiting families now. Wow! I think that's the highest I've ever seen it but I rarely look anymore. I remember reading that US adoption agencies that do Russian adoptions have all had their licenses terminated at this point, China is tightening up their adoption requirements, and the US *may* put a ban on Guatemalan adoptions. I have been wondering if this would have a significant impact on US adoptions. What do you all think? Just curious. We'll be back in the waiting families again at some point so it's definitely a concern of mine. Have a great weekend everyone!
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| Lisa | Posted: Jul 11, 2007 08:59:17 AM
Good Morning,
Kerri, We are flying into Tampa. Where are you? It would be great to meet up with you. How are you doing? It is really hot & humid up here in NJ. The heat index is between 100-105. My air conditioning just went on the fritz in my car. Of course it can't be a quick fix. It is some electrical problem and they can't fix it for 2 days!!! UGGGH!
Whitney, We don't have any names picked out yet. I finally decided on a bedding set for the nursery. I am very excited. It takes 4-6 weeks for delivery. I can't wait. How are you doing?
Stay cool everyone and let's hope that Adrienne is a mommy to a sweet little boy as we speak.
Have a great day!!
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| kerri | Posted: Jul 10, 2007 12:26:06 PM
Hey Lisa~
All I can say is bring some cool clothes down here to FL!!!! It has been just terrible! The temp has been around 98 degrees~ but the heat index makes it feel about 105. Where will you all be flying into? I would love to meet you while you are here. If not this time maybe when the little baby gets here!!!
Smiles,
Kerri
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