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BOARD: Topics of Interest for Adoptive Families » Other Topics for Adoptive Parents
TOPIC: Waiting Couples Chat
| Messages are owned by the posters. American Adoptions are not responsible for their contents. | |||
| Posted By | Message | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Trish | Posted: Jun 27, 2007 08:31:10 AM Whitney, Alex is doing great! I can hardly believe he is 6 weeks old all ready. He is over 11 lbs now, holding up his head, smiling and laughing (as well as a 6 week old can), and starting to sleep better at night. I love being a Mom! Jen, I think I misunderstood the reason for the 2 month delay for our match, so I wanted to clarify that here. I think she had favored us shortly after learning she was pregnant, but was not ready to commit to an adoption plan at that time. When she called back a few months later, they sent her some more profiles, and we were matched a week later. So just because you haven't gotten a call, doesn't mean there hasn't been an interest in you. So hang in there! | ||
| Adrienne | Posted: Jun 27, 2007 07:43:00 AM Hi everyone! Welcome all you newcomers. It's great to see new names all the time. I wish you all speedy matches. Lisa, how did your conference call go? It's so great that the birthmother got to tell you what the sex is. I bet you are sooo excited. I have definitely learned that the wait before a match was a million times easier than the wait after a match, but that is just my opinion. I'm sure it's hard to believe, but we're STILL waiting. Our poor birthmother went to the doctors on Monday and they are making her wait until next week before they induce. She will be well over 2 weeks overdue.... We are going crazy to say the least. We want to hold him, and kiss him, and just see him so badly that it feels like it really may never happen at this point. I know he can't stay in there forever, but right now it feels like he could. Patience is something I'm learning whether I want to or not right now. Adrienne | ||
| Jenn | Posted: Jun 27, 2007 01:40:19 AM Wow, I haven't been here in a bit and I got all turned around! I like the change they made to the forum but it really threw me for a loop trying to figure out what I missed when everything seemed backward or missing. LOL Lisa, I see that you guys got the call! I'm soooo happy for you!!!!! Congratulations!!!! I know you have been so anxious. The real anticipation begins now.;) I owe you an email too I think. Things have been CRAZY around here. Selling the house, working, dealing with our condo at the beach, trying to sell our house, and of course spending every possible moment with Hailey has kept us super busy needless to say. Then I came down with a nasty stomach virus on Friday morning. I didn't get to see Hailey for two solid days -- that is SO HARD!! Daymond relished the one-on-one time with her though. Thankfully, all is well now. Hailey is growing so fast and continues to amaze us daily! She has her 2-mth checkup and shots this Thursday. How time flies. It's really late so I haven't had a chance to completely catch up on what I've missed here but I just wanted to at least say congrats to Lisa. Can't wait to hear the gender too! Take care everyone and good luck to the waiters!:) | ||
| NicoleS1974 | Posted: Jun 27, 2007 12:47:03 AM Hello all! I just wanted to introduce myself on here really quickly! My name is Nicole, my husband is Ryan and we are just waiting on finishing our homestudy next month so that we can get activated and be put on the list. We are so VERY excited about adopting, since so many of my family members are adopted! It is something that we always knew we would do regardless of our ability (or in our case, NON ability) to have children of our own! We are a military family and are kind of worried that will scare some birth mothers off, with the way the world is today, but we have faith that the birth mother who is meant to be part of our lives will understand our circumstances and bless us with a child. It has been a crazy couple of years dealing with infertility, but we feel it is a good omen that we got our first 'list' of birthmothers/situations on Father's Day! I just wanted to wish all of you a speedy wait time and lots of luck! :) | ||
| whitney | Posted: Jun 26, 2007 12:27:37 PM Thanks Trish! Good to hear from you! How is your baby boy! I know you are loving every minute of it. Lisa - any news yet? Anyone else have news? I sure hope I can write soon with news! | ||
| Trish | Posted: Jun 26, 2007 08:31:10 AM Congrats on your match Lisa! Jim and I also had a 3 1/2 month wait. We received the call on February 2, and Alex was born on May 12. Our birth mom had desired a lot of contact, so we spoke with her almost weekly. In addition, we also visited her about 6 weeks before the due date. How did your conference call go? How far away does your birth mom live from you guys? Jen, we waited 11 months to get our match in the T1 program, then 3 1/2 months till the baby was born, so our total wait was 14 1/2 months. There were then unexpected additional costs after our match that put us in the T2 range after all. Like Wendy said, however, you don't always get the call right away, even if a birth mom has chosen you. Our birth mom chose us 2 months before we got the call. She picked us out right away, but AA wanted her to pick a 2nd and 3rd choice and that took her a while. AA sent her a second batch of profiles, and she said she eventually just picked 2 at random so she could move forward with our match. So don't worry Jen, your wait seems pretty typical to me. I think that more folks with short waits send in their stories because they had such a quick and easy experience. There are many of us with longer waits. Still, I wish you luck on a quick and easy match! Diane, that is fantastic to get a second match that way! I think I was on a conference call the day your birth mom called in, because Lisa Lewis excused herself to help one of her birth moms that was pregnant again. Whitney, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. Your profile looks great! | ||
| kerri | Posted: Jun 25, 2007 09:00:27 AM Lisa~ I am so excited for you!!! I remember Amanda telling us that Nick was going to be a boy.......... it was like I was laying there having the ultrasound myself!!! This time is going to be so awesome for you and Matt. Words truly can't express it! I can't wait to hear how the call goes.......... I am sure that you will totally hit it off with her. Where is she from again? Have a great and relaxing day!! Smiles, Kerri | ||
| whitney | Posted: Jun 25, 2007 07:54:04 AM Good morning Ladies! Lisa, no news yet, but thanks for the prayers and encouragement. I am so hoping we get the call this week! It has been exactly 15 months now and that is depressing to me. Good luck with the conference call! It will go great! We were very nervous too, but it went pretty good. We did much better face to face though and only did one conference call. That is so awesome you get to find out the sex of the baby! Please let us know! We will keep you in our prayers. Adrienne, hope all is well with you all and your son has been born and is with you! | ||
| Lisa | Posted: Jun 25, 2007 07:43:27 AM Good Morning Ladies, How was everyone's weekend? The weather here in NJ was absolutely perfect. I wish that it could stay that way, but it is going to get really hot starting today. We have our first conference call tomorrow evening with our birth mother. I didn't sleep a wink last night thinking about it. I am a nervous wreck. I am praying that she likes us. I know that I won't sleep tonight and tomorrow is going to be a long day. Our specialist told us that she had an ultrasound last Wednesday and they were able to determine the sex of the baby and that the birth mother wants to share it with us tomorrow. I can't wait! I will let everyone know Wednesday morning (which just happens to be my birthday). Her due date was also changed and she is now due Oct. 31st. Adrienne, Do you have any news???? I hope that you are with your little boy as we speak. Please let us know how things are going. How are you doing Whitney? Any news? Your updated profile looks great and lets hope that does the trick. Matt and I had made a few changes to our profile and a few weeks later we received the call. Hang in there. I am praying for you. I hope that everyone has a great day!!! | ||
| wendy | Posted: Jun 20, 2007 09:48:13 AM Jen - It does seem like a lot of the stories online had very fast matches. I am hoping to submit our story sometime soon. We waited almost two years in the Trad I program. I decided that I wanted to tell our story so that couples that wait awhile know they are not alone. I will tell you that we now know why we waited so long - our son Carson! This was the perfect situation for us and we love his birth mom so much. During our wait we had numerous situations that seemed like they might work out, but never did. Carson is definitely the child that was meant to be in our family and I would have waited forever for him. Three months is nothing to be alarmed about. You also never know when there is already something brewing for you. Our birth mom contacted American the beginning of November and we were did not receive the match call until December 12. Don't become discouraged! With your APQ being very open hopefully it will happen soon. As far as handling the wait - I stayed very busy and did not sit around waiting for the phone to ring. Then one day it actually did!! | ||
| whitney | Posted: Jun 20, 2007 08:07:18 AM Welcome back Dianne and welcome Jen. Jen, I would not worry after only 3 months. While some (Adrienne) got really quick matches, most of us have waited a while to get matched. We have been waiting almost 15 months. We were in the T1 program for about 10-11 months and increased our budget to be in T2 for the past 4 months. We were always getting average or good exposure in T1 and the past few months we have had above average and still no luck. We recently changed our APQ and profile pictures and hope that helps. Best of luck waiting. I was good for the first 10 or 11 months and ever since I have been quite anxious and frustrated. Since you are in T2 and pretty open, I am not sure what else you can do but wait. Lisa waited about 10 months in T2 to be matched and so did Jenn. | ||
| Jen114 | Posted: Jun 20, 2007 06:43:59 AM Hi! My name is Jen and I'm new to the chat world of AA. My husband & I have been active for almost 3 months (July 3rd), in the T2 program and we're starting to wonder what is wrong with us. We've been told were getting average exposure. We were told in the beginning we were very open and we've even changed some things to make us more open. All of the references I spoke to got calls within weeks and when I look through the posting it seems like everyone gets called within weeks and not months. It's getting so frustrating I don't know what else we can do. Do anyone have any suggestions on what helps get more exposure and how to get selected? How is everyone else getting through the waiting time? | ||
| Lisa | Posted: Jun 19, 2007 04:17:06 PM Welcome Back Dianne! I am so excited that you birth mother is due around the same time that ours is. Did your birth mother contact AA and want you to parent her 2nd child or were you already waiting? We can wait together. Where do you live and where is your birth mother? Do you know if she is having a boy/girl? Our birth mother is going for an ultrasound tomorrow so we may know. I am so excited, but I am also realistic. I just pray that everything works out. I look forward to getting to know you over the next few months. Congratulations!!! | ||
| DMP | Posted: Jun 19, 2007 01:09:24 PM Hi everyone! My name is Dianne and I first posted on this Board in 2005 - it is SO GREAT to see that 2yrs later it's still going strong and some of the same people are here too (Wendy and Kerri!!). We currently don't have a Profile posted - but our Adoption Story is under "Dianne, Tom and Eric" on the AA website. Lisa - I was reading your post from today and wanted to tell you that we are "3 months and 2 days" away from our birthmother's due date (this is our second adoption w/AA and is with the same birth mother). We are pretty much at the same stage of the "waiting process" as you are!! We started the 'wait' in early May and 'overall' it's gone by pretty fast - although on some days, not so much!!! Our son is 20mos old, so he is a great distraction!! Good luck to everyone that is waiting for a match call or for their little baby to arrive!!! Can't wait to read about all your 'good news' over the next few months!!!!!!! | ||
| whitney | Posted: Jun 19, 2007 11:04:53 AM Thanks for the nice comments Lisa. I am hoping the changes we made to the profile and our APQ help. I know God has a plan and a time for everything. The next few months will be exciting and nrevous probably for you all. I never worried our birthmother would change her mind, but the whole process is surreal and you can't believe it is actually happening. Michelle - I hope we are next! I said Lisa in my earlier post, but I guess she was on my mind with her big news! | ||
| kerri | Posted: Jun 19, 2007 10:51:20 AM Whitney~ I love the chnages you did to your profile......... your new house is sooooo cute!!! I just know that it won't be much longer. I can't wait to hear the good news! Adrienne~ you must be going crazy!!!! I know that you just can't wait! What a great state to have to "hang out" in waiting for ICPC to clear! I will be thinking about you!! | ||
| Lisa | Posted: Jun 19, 2007 09:54:30 AM This board has a lot of activity. It is great! Whitney, Your updated profile looks great! Your new photos look perfect. We had made a few changes to our profile and a month later we received our call. Who knows??? I do know that you are next though. Hang in there. As you know it will be worth the wait. Adrienne, You must be going crazy!! Hopefully in the next few days your son will make his grand entrance. AA just received our signed paperwork this morning so hopefully a conference call between us and our birth mother will be scheduled soon. I am so anxious to speak with her, but I am also a nervous wreck. Thank you to all of you again for your continued support. I couldn't have made it this far without you and I know that you will help me get through the next 3 1/2 months. | ||
| whitney | Posted: Jun 19, 2007 09:32:53 AM Thanks for the encouragement Adrienne, and for looking at our profile! I can't believe you are still waiting on the birth! I hope he is born this week! Kaitlin's birthmother was set to be induced because she did not want to go past her due date and the she went into labor a day early. I did not think they let women go too far past theri due dates anymore. Lisa, hope you find out if it is a boy or a girl soon! That made it seem more real to me when we could buy some little outfits! Do you have a conference call scheduled yet? Hope all have a great week and mine and Lisa's phone rings soon! | ||
| Adrienne | Posted: Jun 19, 2007 08:54:02 AM Lisa, Congratulations! I know exactly how you feel. It's such a great feeling. Most of the time I still don't feel like we really have a match. I'm very excited for you! I also agree that Whitney has got to be next. Whitney your new pictures look great. Maybe that along with the APQ changes will be just what it takes to get the match. I honestly don't think it will be much longer for you. As far as us, we're still waiting. She's now overdue and I'm on pins and needles waiting for the call. We're sooo anxious; I'm not sure how much longer we can wait especially here. If she hasn't had him by this weekend we may travel out there. | ||
| kerri | Posted: Jun 19, 2007 08:47:40 AM Hey Lisa~ That is just great!! These next four months will be such a fairy tale for you!!! Just cherish every single moment~ from the match call, to the paperwork, to the conference calls, etc. Each moment is just so precious!!! I can't wait to hear all of the good news!! Do you know what state she is from? Kerri | ||
| Lisa | Posted: Jun 19, 2007 08:18:43 AM Good Morning Ladies, Thank you Whitney & Wendy for your well wishes. We do not know yet if she is having a boy/girl, however she is going for an ultrasound tomorrow and if the baby cooperates we may know. I will keep you posted... Thank you & have a great day!!! | ||
| wendy | Posted: Jun 18, 2007 12:39:05 PM Lisa - That is so awesome that you got the call just in time for Father's Day!! Congratulations!!! Isn't it just the most amazing feeling?! Keep us updated. Do you know yet boy/girl? Wendy | ||
| whitney | Posted: Jun 18, 2007 10:35:36 AM Lisa - that is awesome! CONGRATULATIONS! Please let us know more details when you get them. Hopefully the next 4 months will fly by for you. | ||
| Lisa | Posted: Jun 18, 2007 09:47:56 AM Good Morning Ladies, I hope that everyone had a great weekend. We had the BEST weekend because we received "THE CALL". I can't believe it! I am still in disbelief. We have been chosen by a birth mother!! She is due October 1st. Did I say that I am in shock!!! I am a nervous wreck. I hope and pray that everything works out. I know that what is meant to be will be. We should know more this week. I will keep everyone posted. Whitney, It is your turn!!! I am praying for you. Hang in there. Have a great day!!! | ||
