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BOARD: Topics of Interest for Adoptive Families » Other Topics for Adoptive Parents
TOPIC: Waiting couples wanting to chat with each other
| Messages are owned by the posters. American Adoptions are not responsible for their contents. | |||
| Posted By | Message | ||
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| Heather | Posted: Oct 25, 2005 08:11:51 PM Mauri, Hey! It is so good to hear from you. I am sure you have been swamped with preparations and with emotions. I am sure I will go through the same mind games with the "do I or don't I" get this and that, etc. The matched but not guarenteed phase is probably one of the toughest parts of all of this emotionally. Even though the waiting phase can get long, it becomes familiar and the same, so for me, the emotions have seemed to level out a bit... Now I am babbling...we all do it... :) Take Care and keep in touch. Heather | ||
| Mauri | Posted: Oct 24, 2005 06:33:30 PM Hi girls! Everyone seems to be doing good-I know we are all over the place with emotions no matter what stage you are in. Sorry I haven't written in a while-but I do come and read all of our comments from time to time to remind myself that I am NOT alone. And I must say, I so appreciate that, as I am sure you all do. You sometimes feel so alone in all of this-so it is so good to be reminded that your feelings are normal for the situation you are in. We have been busy getting ready for the addition to our family. She thought she was going to go this month but it is looking like it will be closer to her due date of Dec. 2nd. Somedays I really wish we were matched closer to the due date-too much time to think and worry and try to not BUY THINGS!!! Especially PINK things! <smile> As you have all read and been told and some even experienced, you know how they say not to get competely ready-well that is so hard! We have done a lot of the major stuff-set up daycare, found a pediatrician, getting the basics set up and ready to go. Every time I do one more thing I think-should I be buying this? Should I be planning this? What if is disrupts? But then I just remember, it is not in my hands. We are all in this situation for a reason, it is because we are strong individuals and can handle it. We just need to remember that. I feel so positive about our situation, and just know we will be bringing that little girl home, but it is hard since it is still not a for sure thing! Ok-am I getting too deep? I am SO emotional lately-so many mixed emotions. I am on these Lupron shots to treat my endometriosis and I have been having hot flashes! The medication sends you into a 'fake menopause'. Yikes! ANd I am so very emotional, which is not good timing. <smile> Sorry if I am babbling girls! Hey, I'll try to get in that private chat room. I hope this finds you all on a good day-and I hope every day is a good day-just think positive and everything will be ok. I pray for all of you every day! Take care, Mauri | ||
| Dawna | Posted: Oct 20, 2005 07:43:50 PM Hi Beth! Welcome Aboard! I hope you will keep up with us once you are active. I can tell you the anxiety is worth getting that phone call! I am 39 (actually 41, but at 40 I decided to go backward! Ha!) and my husband is 43. A lot of the adoptive parents on AA are "older" like us....that is not a bad thing! We have lived longer, have more patience, are likely more stable as a family and financially. We have a lot to offer in the way of love and support! So don't you worry ~ there is a sweet soul out there looking for you and your husband! Mauri, where have you gone? I do hope all is well with you! Glad we have the opportunity to use a private board now to chat....hope others will join in the fun and support. You are all like family to me now! Have a great week! Dawna | ||
| Heather | Posted: Oct 20, 2005 02:11:28 PM Beth, Welcome! Let us know when you become active with AA. We love to get to know new people and are so excited to travel the journey with you. Heather | ||
| Beth | Posted: Oct 19, 2005 10:20:40 PM Hello all... First of all Congrats to all of you who are matched... YEAH!!! My husband Stephen and I have just completed our homestudy and are on a local agency's list and are getting our paperwork ready for american adoptions. We have been married 2 years, second marriage for me. I had cervical cancer this year and had a partial hysterectomy... My husband is a testicular cancer survivor.. Had it at age 21.. It is our dream to become parents.. I also just turned 40 this year so as you know I am extremely anxious. Since I only have 5 more years in the adoption world. But I love reading your stories they are so inspiring. They make me think there is hope. So keep on posting and getting those babies... and congrats again to you all. | ||
| Heather | Posted: Oct 19, 2005 09:18:53 PM Mauri, are you still checking in? How are you doing? We would love to hear from you. Heather | ||
| DP | Posted: Oct 15, 2005 03:34:42 PM Hi Heather - I posted some additional info about our situation (the disruption) on the "Wendy" board; I feel a little more comfortable 'posting' there, since it seems more private. Overall though - American Adoptions has been really supportive and we are looking forward to being in another match! | ||
| Heather | Posted: Oct 14, 2005 04:18:19 PM Hello Terri! Welcome!! We are excited to hear from you and would love to get to know you better. This site has been wonderful for me and I know for some of the others who share here. We look sooo forward to chatting and passing the time together. Plus it is great to get to know others and learn from each other. DP...Wow..I am so sorry you had to go on the rollarcoaster ride, but I am sure it was just exciting to be chosen too. Okay, I have questions, as I'm sure many of us do... Now that you have been in a match that disrupted --- will you be put on a priority list to try to get you matched again. I thought I remembered hearing something about how the company really tries to help those out who have had that type of situation??? Or is that more when it happens at the hospital? What have they said to you? Thanks for keeping us posted! Excited to keep chatting! Heather | ||
| DP | Posted: Oct 12, 2005 07:14:55 PM Hi Everyone! It is great to see the Board is being kept up and new people are joining in. We just had a lot of excitement with a 'match' - but ultimately the birth mother changed her mind at the last minute. I won't go into the details here, but it was a whirlwind experience (from match to birth to 'disruption' was a total of 8 days). So I guess what I am trying to say is that anything can happen - so it is best to stay positive during the wait, even if there are some bumps in the road. It is heartbreaking to have a birthmother change her mind - but we truly believe there is a purpose for everything. We are now anxiously awaiting another 'match' - and hope the next time will be 'the one'. Best wishes to everyone!! | ||
| Terri | Posted: Oct 12, 2005 01:49:45 PM Hi Ladies. I found this thread today and what a relief! Heather thanks for starting the thread on page one and directing people to page three…that’s how I found all of you! I was so relieved to see the things that all of you were writing about. So, I’m not the only one who feels anxious. My best friend just had a baby and two of my other friends and my sister are due in March. My husband is so relaxed about things and keeps saying that when God wants us to have a baby we will have it. I believe this wholeheartedly, but it still doesn’t make me stop thinking about it constantly. :) We were activated August 16th, but now the time seems to just drag. At least when we were doing our paperwork, I felt in control and always knew the next step. Does this make me a control freak? :) We inquired about how much our profile is being seen and were told it had been sent out over 20 times last month, which she said is a good start. Do these numbers mean anything? Hopefully these numbers will keep us in the 9-18 month timeframe which they originally gave to us. Congrats to those of you who have been matched! I will keep all of you (matched and unmatched) in my prayers. | ||
| Heather | Posted: Oct 11, 2005 06:54:08 PM Hello Heather P. Thanks for letting us know your experience and wait time. Are you going to be going through American Adoptions for your next baby? Heather | ||
| Heather P | Posted: Oct 11, 2005 03:11:08 PM Hello to everyone I am new to this site and just wanted to introduce myself. We adopted a little girl through another agency called New Beginnings. We completed our homestudy and did our long anxious waiting period. We waited for 11 months and our homestudy was 2 weeks from expiring and it was on halloween during a church festival and everyone kept asking have you heard anything from the agency yet and I replied no but we need alot of prayer because we need it in the next 2 weeks. Everyone stopped and prayed for us and the situation. The very next day I got my amazing phone call and 10 days later we picked up our beautiful daughter. The wait was so emotionally hard but in the end after having her it's alot like labor, like the pain/wait wasn't so bad after all. I love my little girl and she is so special and I long for my next adoption experience (yes another girl is what I want after having 2 boys) Well I wanted to let everyone know a little about our experience, Thanks, Heather P | ||
| Heather | Posted: Oct 04, 2005 08:04:36 PM Hey Everybody. We are busy here with family birthdays and I have been updating my computer with it's virus protection stuff. I get worried every once in a while because we lost a computer due to a worm once. Our protection was due to be updated... I tend to stay away from the computer for awhile until I think everythings done and up to date. I don't always trust them... Anyways, nothing is happening here really. I did buy a pack of pampers while grocery shopping, to help add to my little pile under the crib. One of the ladies at church is going to try to have all families involved with adoption get together for a meal sometime. We attend a chuch that has approx. 1200 attending Sundays, so there are quite a few families. I'm interested in hearing more of the history behind the adoptions. We are still doing okay emotionally here. I do get tired at times of the unknown wait and all that goes with that, but I know I'm not in control and that's okay. I am excited that some of you either have a baby, or are in a match. Out of our "regulars", there's only a couple still waiting. Hopefully we'll pick up some more people at different stages too. I may start this topic as a "New" Topic on page one to draw more attention. So if you are reading this, please check page one for a contiuation... Keep in touch. Heather | ||
| Mauri | Posted: Sep 28, 2005 05:38:10 PM Thanks everyone for all your wonderful comments and congrats. I can't wait to tell you the same! I have to say, the waiting is harder now in a match because you worry so much about the birthmother, hoping she is doing okay and content in her decision- I just want to tell her and reassure her that we are going to love her little girl more than she can ever imagine. I haven't even met our birthmom and I love her SO much. We got a little bit of raised blood pressure yesterday when the Adoptive Family Specialist told us that the birthmom thinks she is moving along very quickly and thinks she will go a LOT earlier than Dec. 2nd. She was actually thinking in the next few weeks! Oh my goodness and holy cow. But it will all be fine, Steve and I are just going to go ahead and warn our bosses that it could be anytime and we are just going to be in ready mode. Now I will worry every time the phone rings. <smile> She is sending us the ultrasound picture, I can't wait to see that. It is so hard to not tell everyone I know. We have probably told a few too many people but I figure those are the people that I would also want to be praying for our situation and also would want their support if our birthmom changes her mind. There are so many emotions going through me right now, every day every minute. I just keep telling myself that if this is meant to be, this is our daughter, if not, it wasn't meant to be. OK girls keep us updated on anything new and how you are doing, and also remember we need to talk about our feelings if you are having a hard time-that is what we are all here for-to listen to each other and help support each other. Take care and I'll let you know any updates. Mauri | ||
| Dawna | Posted: Sep 27, 2005 11:48:26 PM CONGRATS MAURI!!!! Wow! A baby girl on the way! And just think, you only have 9 weeks or so to go! We started out 16 weeks, and has the waiting been tough! I hope your birthmom will keep you up to date on all the fun stuff... it is so awesome to see those first pics of the baby inside! And keeping up with the lamaze and baby positions! Our little boy is in the right position and getting ready for introduction! 6 1/2 more weeks. ~~ See Ladies!~~ it happens when you LEAST expect it, and when it happens it is just surreal! *smiles* Just think of this time as practicing! D. | ||
| Kerri | Posted: Sep 27, 2005 02:01:57 PM CONGRATULATIONS MAURI!!! I am in tears siitng hear reading your story..... so many emotions come back to you when you hear that someone got matched!!! Was it just not the best phone call of your life........ it will actually be the second best because when you get that call saying that your birthmom is in labor your world will truly stop for a moment!!! Enjoy these couple of months with your hubby......... do everything that you all want to do!!! I can't wait to hear the good news of your precious, gift from God... your daughter!!!! Please keep us posted!!!! To all the other girls...... your time is near!!! Smiles, Kerri | ||
| Wendy | Posted: Sep 26, 2005 07:04:25 PM Sorry about that : ) Somehow I bumped some key on my keyboard and the message sent immediatley. MAURI!! I am so excited for you! Weren't you just saying that the waiting was hard? : ) That happened really fast! Is the match waiting even harder than the waiting, waiting?? I keep thinking that for me it might be. Just wanted to let you ladies know that I did set up a group, but really don't know how to send you all invitations to join, so I am working on it. I need hubby to help fine tune it. If someone else wants to go ahead with something that is fine. If I get it figured out I will let you know. Wendy | ||
| Wendy | Posted: Sep 26, 2005 06:58:37 PM Mauri, CONGRATULATIONS!! | ||
| Heather | Posted: Sep 26, 2005 10:46:00 AM Hey Ladies! Wow, it is so exciting to hear how things are moving along for Mauri and Dawna! I am so excited to hear all about it. Please continue to keep us posted. Mauri, that was so special that you got to share the news with your mom right away! I don't have a lot of time to right now, but I'll check in again later... Thanks so much for sharing!!! Heather | ||
| Mauri | Posted: Sep 23, 2005 10:15:42 PM Hi girls! I hope you are all well-and i also pray that none of you were affected by the Hurricanes recently. It is so sad to see all the destruction. Well-I can't believe it, and I have been so excited to tell you all but I wanted to wait a couple weeks just to make sure. But we got 'the' phone call a couple weeks ago, we just couldn't believe it. It was an out of body experience, let me tell you. It took a few days to sink in, I kept calling our specialist Jill just to make sure it was really happening. It was amazing too, I just had had surgery that week-a laporoscopy for my endometriosis (which didn't work, which is a whole other story!) and my mother (who was adopted herself) was in town taking care of me. I had this feeling that it would be so cool if we got that match phone call while she was here, and what do you know, on her last day here they called. We both about fell over, she was with me. We then called Steve and I could just hear the excitement in his voice. Our wonderful birthmom is due Dec. 2nd! And it's a GIRL! We are only telling close friends and family of course, as recommended, but I definitely wanted to tell you all. And to give that hope to you all that it will happen when the time is right, there is a little baby out there for everyone. Just keep the faith and stay positive. I'll keep you posted on anything new. We had our first conference call with her today and she was so nice, so outgoing and sweet. She made us laugh. <smile> Please keep our birthmom in your thoughts and prayers and I will keep you all in mine. I am so glad we have this chat room. If you do start a different one up let me know, I would definitely interested in keeping in touch, we all have SO much in common and could help each other for many years to come. Take care, Mauri | ||
| Heather | Posted: Sep 22, 2005 08:38:36 PM Dp, we haven't heard from you since June. It's so good to know you still check in on us:) Congrats on becoming active in July! Of course you know we are all excited to check out your profile if you feel comfortable sharing names with us. I was a bit nervous about that at first, but I haven't seen any negatives from it. It is just so nice to be able to chat and wait (and celebrate) together. We have several couples at our church who have adopted, but none with AA, so it's really nice to connect with people walking through the same steps, etc. I try to check this chat room at least once a week or when I check my email, if I have time. However, since I spoke with Megan on Sept. 20th - it has been updated daily! So if we have a lot of messages, I'm sure I will be check more regularly :) | ||
| DP | Posted: Sep 22, 2005 08:43:45 AM Heather - Thank you for getting the Chat Room updated!! I have been checking your Board 2-3 times per week since we were activated in early July. Maybe since you brought it to their attention they won't take so long to post messages any more- I saw one was from September 3, but it wasn't there this past weekend when I checked. I think using another Board would be a great idea, but I don't know how to do it either! Good Luck to everyone - I really like the 'waiting' room!! I love the encouragement, hope and very helpful information you all provide - I am glad to see its "back"!! | ||
| Kerri | Posted: Sep 21, 2005 11:24:42 AM Hey Girls, I would love to start a new chat room........ that would be fun if we could all chat at the same time!! Let me know if it gets started. Have a happy day!!!! Kerri | ||
| Heather | Posted: Sep 20, 2005 08:39:05 PM Hurray Ladies, here we go again....I missed all of you! Kudos to Megan Speath! I spoke with her TODAY about the chat room not being updated, and before the end of the day it was. Thank You!!! Wendy, I have never done a different type of chat room but would be very interested in learning more. Right off I can't think of any risks there would be to doing that.... I think it is also a fun idea to keep this going somewhat too, so we can add new people and then like you said, add them to the other chat. This has been the most successful and on-going chat that I have seen so far. The one draw back to it is that new people have to make it back to page 3 to find us, and that will continue to move... Dawna, congrats on having a son! Thank you for the heads up on knowing there will be more paperwork coming. Any tips are welcome. Keep us up to date on all the news. Thanks for keeping in touch with us Kerri! I also emailed Carla through personal email and was so happy to hear back. I look forward to continuing to get to know all of you more. Congrats to the newly active people. God Bless, Heather | ||
