American Adoptions Message Board
Note to posters: The American Adoptions Forum is aimed at providing a fun, informative and supportive online community for waiting families, birth mothers, adoptees and others who are interested in chatting about adoption. Negative posts, including those aimed at any adoption agency or other posters, will not be tolerated and will be removed.
In an effort to reduce spam messages posted to the American Adoptions' message board, we now require that our members log in with a registered account to post messages. We thank you for helping make the American Adoptions' online message board community a better place for all!
| Messages are owned by the posters. American Adoptions are not responsible for their contents. |
| Posted By |
Message |
| sam | Posted: Nov 11, 2004 11:12:23 AM
it will ba okay we all get scared some times i'm 16 and i just gave up my baby and it hurt and when tthat birthday roles around it will hurt even ;more but you know what you are giving a family something that they may never have and it is a beautiful thing keep that in mindand everything else will work itself out
| | Anonymous | Posted: Nov 08, 2004 05:47:46 PM
help me
| | Michelle | Posted: Nov 02, 2004 11:47:00 PM
Nicole-I am a birth mother and I can relate to how you are feeling. Right now there are so many emotions that you are going to experience and continue to go through during your pregnancy and certainly the adoption process. Looking into adoption as an option for your child is a very responsible and loving decision. There is nothing that I can say to make the hurt and pain go away right now. I know this because I have been there. You may even feel some anger towards yourself for the situation that you are in. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I promise that things do get better. I do believe that this has to be your decision and something that you are comfortable with. Also try to listen to family members when it comes to the reason why they think you should look into adoption and listen to their advice but that does not mean you have to make any decision either way. It is best to find out about your options and make a decision based on what is in the best interest of your child. There are adoption specialists at American Adoptions who can do some counseling with you. I am also a birth mother there who can talk to you about my experience with adoption and all the wonderful opportunities that my son has had and will continue to have all because of adoption. Your child will always be your child even if you choose adoption. Your family members are trying to look out for you and the best interest of the baby and so listen to them for what it is worth. However, in the end make a decision that you feel in your heart is going to allow this child to have everything in life that he/she deserves. I hope this helps and wish you the best of luck.
| | Carol | Posted: Oct 23, 2004 06:05:24 PM
Nicole - I hope you have friends and family who will let you cry on their shoulders and release the pain you feel. I wish I could tell you that it will not hurt to place your baby for adoption - it hurts. Being a mother hurts and gullt seems to come with the territory and this is true of most mothers. I am not being flip, I am trying to tell you that if you raise yor baby there will be moments where you hurt for your child and if you place her for adoption you will hurt.
My little sister placed her baby girl for adoption 26 years ago, she was 17 and wanted to keep her baby, she loved her! But, without the financial help of our parents there was no feesible way she could do care for herself and her child. I still recall the day she gave birth as she called me crying and we talked for hours, until she could cry no more for that day.
Every year I would talk to her, remembering the birh-day of her duaghter. I never forgot her daughter and I let my little sis know that I was there for her every year.
She knew in her head it was the right thing to do, but her heart did not agree.
She did not regret the decision, but it still hurt. She went on to complete college, marry and have three more children, and then she was met with a reunion of her first daughter this past summer....what a reunion we all had. We had not forgotten her in 26 years.
As mothers we have to make choices many times throughout our children's life that is best for them even when it hurts us - I think that is a part of being a mother.
I hope you talk with the counselors at american adoptions, and find out what creative avenues are to keep you in the loop of your child's life. An open adoption would probably be best for you - but find out what your choices are, so you feel good about this decision.
It is so important for you to be gentle and kind to yourself as your baby grows - journal every day your feelings and experiences with this pregnancy and cry when you need to, with a trusted friend by your side. Ask that you have support during your labor and delivery/ Write down what the ideal situation would be like if you had your way. Imagine what your life with your baby would be like in 10 years. Write what you would like to experience during the labor and delivery and what you would like the birth-day of your child to be like. What do you need? Ask your loved ones to try and meet your needs so your baby can be happy as he grows each day. And pray - no matter what you are not alone, ask God to guide yor heart and give you the strength to do what is best for you and your baby. I wish I could tell you that it will not hurt as it may, but the hurt lessons as we accept our decisions. You sound like a kind and loving young woman, give that same kind and gentle spirit to your child and trust God and those who love you. I will be praying for you - and remember that you are never alone. You are a woman of courage and strength as you have chosen life for your baby.
Blessings from Texas -
Carol
| | sarah | Posted: Oct 23, 2004 03:44:12 PM
hey your going to be ok trust me and plus how old are u
| | linda | Posted: Oct 22, 2004 07:53:42 PM
DEAR DIANE,
I AM INTERESTED IN FINDING A FAMILY THAT IS WILLING TO HAVE AN OPEN ADOPTION. SUCH A THING IS NOT LISTED ON THE PROFILES OF FAMILIES, HOW WILL I KNOW IF ONE IS WILLING TO HAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP? ALSO, I JUST FOUND OUT THAT I AM PREGNANT, THIS WOULD BE MY THIRD CHILD. AND I DONT FEEL CONFIDENT THAT I HAVE THE ENERGY TO RAISE ANOTHER ONE. BUT I AM CONCERNED BECAUSE BY GIVING UP THIS CHILD, MY OTHER TWO WOULD HAVE NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER. I'D LIKE FOR THEM TO KNOW THEIR BROTHER OR SISTER, AND SOMEDAY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM/HER. IS THIS POSSIBLE?
| | Diane | Posted: Oct 19, 2004 02:34:09 PM
Nicole, assuming you continue to believe that adoption is the right choice for you, I'd suggest that you look for an adoptive family that is willing to involve you in the life of your child through an open adoption. In this case, you and the adoptive family would work together to build a relationship that makes sense for your baby. Not that this will ever make you 100% comfortable with your decision, but at least you'll be able to maintain a level of contact with your child in the future. Good Luck and God Bless. By the way, my husband and I are hoping to find a birth mother looking for an open relationship, so let me know if this is something you are interested in.
| | michelle | Posted: Oct 18, 2004 10:55:00 PM
In my opinion if you're are using the phrase "talked into adoption" this may not be the right decision for you. You should not be coursed into placing your child for adoption. It should feel natural and right, not to trivialize how unbeliavably hard the decision is. If its right for you than you know. Its a decision that wil affect not only your life but your childs as well, it requires much contemplation. Do not let the judgements and opinions of loved ones direct you to make a decision your unsure of. This would be a monumental regret if its not YOUR decision. My advise: research as much as possible.
| | Anonymous | Posted: Oct 13, 2004 11:22:29 PM
You want to hear why it's a good decision... Ask yourself why you think adoption is the right thing to do. Other than your family, have you discussed adoption with the father? friends? counselor? church pastor? Everyone's situation is different and I guess I would suggest praying about it, evaluating your lifestyle, current responsibilities, future responsibilities, and the support you'll receive from others. If your heart tells you to keep it, and you honestly feel you can love, raise, and nurture your baby, then by all means... keep it. While you're deciding and searching out the best thing for you and your baby, remember to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and nutritionally. You and your baby are the most important things for you to focus on. I don't know if this helps, but ask God to lead you down the path that is best for you. He already has a plan laid out for both you and your baby. Ask Him for guidance, courage, and comfort. He'll listen.
| | Nicole | Posted: Oct 12, 2004 11:56:50 PM
I'm 4 monthes pregnant. At about 2 monthes I was finally talked into adoption by my family. I know its the right thing to do, but its soo hard and it already hurts so bad. I just want someone to tell me something to make me feel better. I need to hear why it's a good decision.
|
|
 |
Mission Statement:
American Adoptions, a private adoption agency founded on the belief that lives of children can be bettered through adoption, provides safe adoption services to children, birth parents and adoptive families by educating, supporting and coordinating necessary services for adoptions throughout the United States. For more information on American Adoptions please call 1-800-ADOPTION (236-7846).
|
|
|
|
|
