In January 2014 I found out I was pregnant. I was currently in a two-year relationship with a man, and we were soon to be engaged. He is not the father of my baby. One poor decision tore us apart, and we are no longer together.
The baby’s father did not show much interest when I told him. He already has three children by three other women. Real winner, I know.
I found it beyond difficult to tell my parents because I knew how disappointed they would be. My mother took it as well as a mother can, I suppose. My father, on the other hand, did not. From the time he found out in April to after the birth in September, he never spoke a word to me and could not be in the same room as me. This hurt me more than anything. I’d always been daddy’s little girl and to see what I did to him ruined me.
After I told my mother, we started making prenatal appointments and talking. I told her that adoption had crossed my mind, but I wasn’t 100 percent sure yet.
We looked for agencies to find more information. Once we found American Adoptions, I was put into contact with Cole and he is amazing!
When I was certain that I was choosing adoption, I decided to move from my home in Georgia to New Mexico to live with my grandfather for the duration of my pregnancy. In June 2014, I made my move.
Once I was settled in New Mexico, I applied for Medicaid and made more doctor appointments. I also started looking harder at available families on the website. I had looked previously but did not want to get any hopes up too early. Despite that, from the first time I browsed, I feel in love with Jon and Lindsay.
One thing that really drew me to them was the fact that Jon was adopted himself. I felt that if my baby girl could have that connection with her father, what could be better? He could relate to her on so many levels and help her to understand the situation. I believe a loving daddy is something every little girl needs and deserves, and Jon is definitely nothing short of an amazing, doting father!
When the time came to finally contact them and have our first conversation, I was definitely nervous. I wanted to make a good impression. I was afraid they would reject if I didn’t do a good job.
After the first phone call, we started keeping in touch through email. In the first email I sent, I told them they would be expecting a baby girl, and I don’t think there were two more happy people on this planet. We talked almost every day, and I told them all the details from my appointments. I sent them ultrasound pictures, and they sent me pictures of the nursery as they added pink details. Jon build a beautiful barn wood door for her closet and his dad built a side table to go beside the rocker. Their entire family was excited and I could tell just by talking to Jon and Lindsay.
Toward the end of August, they came for a short visit again. I was nervous but once we started talking, it was like I had known them forever. I felt so comfortable with them; I knew they were the right match.
When we got closer to my due date, they came to New Mexico to make sure they were there for my birth. My mother also came out to be with me during the process. Five days after I was due, my baby was finally ready. I was admitted into the hospital Sunday night, and we had a beautiful baby girl early Monday morning.
Lindsay held her first, and Jon cut the umbilical cord. They were able to stay in a room at the hospital and the baby was able to stay in the room with them instead of being stuck in the nursery. Up until the birth, they had a few names in mind but wanted to see and meet her before making a final decision.
So, on Monday, September 22, 2014 at 1:42 a.m., Nora came into the world weighing 8 pounds, 3 ounce and was 20 inches long.
After being put into my recover room, I slept the rest of that morning. When I woke up, we found I was hemorrhaging so a D and C was ordered. This was the first time I had ever been in the hospital for anything, so I was getting all experiences (IVs, anesthesia, etc.) in one visit.
The operation went well, and I was back in my room within an hour. During our stay in the hospital, they came to visit me all the time and kept me informed on the tests that were being done on Nora, like how she was eating and such. We were both discharged from the hospital together on Tuesday, and they stayed in town an extra night so we could have a little more time together before saying final goodbyes. We met for lunch the next day after I went to the courthouse and made everything official. We took some more pictures, then I watched my heart drive away.
We text almost daily, and they email me pictures often. They let me know how she is doing, how big she is getting, how her personality is forming more and more each day, how much everyone in their lives are enjoying meeting her. People at their jobs had showers for them once they arrived home.
That is exactly how I always pictured in my mind it would be to have a baby. I feel beyond blessed that I was able to give them something that I believe they thought might never happen. I know God will provide for me again, when I have reached the right time in my life. I know they will love her unconditionally and will give her everything she ever wants or needs. She is going to be awfully spoiled!
Now that I am back home and busy with work and school, I have started thinking about what I can do with my story and how I can use what I went through to help other girls and women in similar situations. In my town, there is a nonprofit actually trying to start a home for single pregnant mothers who have nowhere to live or anyone to help them. I have considered getting involved with this program.
I want to be able to share my experience and be the example that adoption is a wonderful choice. I believe this home will help save a lot of innocent lives because abortion is all too frequently the backup when things don’t go as planned.
I want every girl and woman to know that adoption is one of the best things they could ever do in their lives if they decide they can’t support a baby or that they just aren’t ready. There is always a family ready. Always.
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