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A Transatlantic Adoption - How One Birth Father Bridged the Distance with Open Adoption

Josh's Story

This testimonial was written as part of our Adoption Scholarship Story series. Read Josh’s story in his own words here.

When Josh met American study-abroad student Alyssa during his time at Newcastle University in England, he couldn’t have imagined the road he would take in the months to come.

Alyssa was only studying in England for a year but, when she and Josh found out she was seven months pregnant in 2017, the two would be linked for life.

They had no idea Alyssa was pregnant at all, not to mention that far along.

“All of a sudden, we were faced with the seemingly impossible task of deciding what to do moving forward,” Josh says.

After a lengthy discussion, Josh and Alyssa decided adoption was the best choice for their unborn son. They knew open adoption was the only option; they couldn’t bear the thought of not being a part of his life. As a prospective birth father, Josh felt an innate sense of responsibility to his unborn son.

“He deserves to grow up knowing who his biological father really is and that I’m there for him if he wants or needs me,” Josh says.

Once they contacted American Adoptions, Josh says he and Alyssa quickly found the perfect family for their son. The adoptive couple had already adopted a daughter through the agency, which Josh and Alyssa were excited about. As members of large families themselves, they valued the importance of their son growing up with siblings.

The adoptive father also happened to be a fan of Newcastle United — the soccer team that Josh had supported since he was a child.

“Of course, it’s also the sports team from the city where Alyssa and I met and fell in love,” he says.

Josh says he feels “so privileged” to have received support from American Adoptions through Alyssa’s pregnancy. The couple was grateful to be able to choose who would adopt their child, what sort of contact they might have with him in the future, and how frequently they wanted that contact.

“To have that kind of control over the situation made all the difference for us,” he says.

That was especially important for Josh, living and studying in England.

“I want to build a life where I am always accessible for my son,” Josh adds.

On Oct. 21, 2017, Josh’ son Cassius Mikel John was born a happy, healthy boy. Josh, Alyssa and the adoptive family agreed that Cassius’ birth parents would visit him every two years, with their first visit due this coming fall.

Josh plans on bridging the oceanic gap between him and his birth son when he attends a business school in New York in hopes of building a transatlantic independent record label. American Adoptions is assisting by granting him scholarship funds. Although he’s a British citizen, he says it’s important for him to keep the United States a significant part of his life, for his son and for himself.

“Alyssa and mine’s son, Cassius, is half-American, half-British. I want to show him that he doesn’t have to feel split, torn or fragmented,” Josh says. “I want to show him a world where his origins are not split over great distance, that while our two countries are apart, they don’t have to be entirely separate. We can exist in both.”

Most of all, he wants his son to know that he is loved — and that adoption was the greatest demonstration of his birth parents’ affection.

“I believe just knowing his mother and I are there for him in body, mind and spirit will be of endless value to Cassius growing up. More than that, I want him to know his parents made the decision we did not because we didn’t want him, but because we wanted to be the very best versions of ourselves for him. That he might even grow up to be proud of his biological parents and their achievements.

“Everything that has happened has led me to here, and I wouldn’t change any of it.”

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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