American Adoptions1-800-adoption

Request Information Begin Process Now Getting Started Find A Family Deciding on Adoption How Adoption Works Sorting Through Your Emotions Family and Friends Father Of The Baby About Adopted Children Health & Nutrition Resources The Adoption Process:
Step by Step

Did you know less than 5% of adoption websites are licensed or accredited?

View All Agency Licenses & Certifications

Questions and Answers

Q. Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

Q. How much, and what type of, financial assistance can I receive?

Q. How involved can I, the birth mother, be in the entire adoption process?

Q. How can I be sure that the families that American Adoptions works with provide me with the best possible choices for my baby?

Q. How much information about me is shared with the adoptive family?

Q. How much information about the family will be shared with me?

Q. How much contact can I have with my baby and the adoptive family after the adoption?

Q. Do I have to include the birth father in the adoption?

Q. Can my parents stop me from choosing adoption for my baby?

Q. Once I sign the adoption papers, can I change my mind?

Q. How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Q. What is the next step, how do I start the adoption process?

Q. When I find the family that I like, how do I get in touch with them to let them know I have selected them?

Q. Will I meet and/or talk to the adoptive family prior to the adoption?

Q. What if I choose a family and am not comfortable with them and change my mind about them?

Q. What if I do not know who the father of the baby is or there is more than one possible father?

Q. What if the birth father does not agree with my adoption decision?

Q. Is it uncommon that the birth father is my boyfriend, fiancee, or husband and we want to place our baby for adoption?

Q. How do I tell my family or friends about my adoption?

Q. Are people right when they say that this is selfish of me? How should I respond when they say something like that?

Q. How will my other children react to adoption? How can I tell my children about my decision?

Q. Will my child understand my decision?

Q. Will I always wonder how my child is doing now?

Q. Will I regret my decision?

Q. Will I be able to see my baby after the birth?

Q. What can I expect to feel after I say goodbye?

Q. Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

A. American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. We work with thousands of women each year facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to women in need. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you 7 days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and the options available to you.

When choosing an adoption agency to work with you must feel completely comfortable with their program and staff. With American Adoptions you will work with an adoption specialist who is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The adoption specialist will be your advocate, providing support and guidance as you decide the type of adoption plan that is right for you.

Q. How much, and what type of, financial assistance can I receive?

A. Each adoption situation is truly unique and each state has specific laws regarding financial assistance. In most cases, your medical bills will be covered by the adoptive family. If you have insurance or Medicaid, the family will pay for anything that is not covered. In some states, funds can be provided for your living expenses, while in other states this is illegal. To find out what assistance can be provided in your state contact us today.

Q. How involved can I, the birth mother, be in the entire adoption process?

A. This is your adoption plan! You call the shots. Your adoption specialist will discuss with you your options and provide guidance when needed, but the final decisions are yours. You get to decide how much contact you want to have with the adoptive family as well as whether you would like to see the baby in the hospital or would rather be transferred off the floor. You'll be able to decide if you'd like to receive letters and pictures of the child growing up and, if you're unsure, you can have American Adoptions hold those items until you are ready.

Q. How can I be sure that the families that American Adoptions works with provide me with the best possible choices for my baby?

A. American Adoptions accepts only the best adoptive family candidates in the United States. We receive hundreds of adoptive family inquiries each month, but only a handful of these families are accepted in to our adoption programs. While most adoption agencies have minimal requirements of their families, American Adoptions requires extensive tests, evaluations, and interviews in order to provide you with the quality families that you are looking for.

We also maintain numerous families with various careers, backgrounds, and interests throughout the United States. With American Adoptions you can select from the widest variety of adoptive families available.

As an example of you selecting your ideal family, if future religious beliefs of your child are important to you we will find the best families that fit your religious desires. If you want your dream family to be a Christian family, we will find the best quality screened Christian families for you. Another example would be if you wanted the adoptive parents to be young and outgoing, we will find you the best quality screened families who were young and outgoing. American Adoptions will help you find the perfect family for you and your baby.

Q. How much information about me is shared with the adoptive family?

A. You can share however much or little information about yourself as you feel comfortable sharing. The adoptive family will know your first name, your last name (but only once the child is placed in their care), your medical history and the state that you live in. Your social history is also provided to the family. So, please remember to be as thorough as you can be so your child can learn about you and your family if he/she has questions some day. If you want minimal information shared with your child, let your Adoption Specialist know and they can pass this along to the family.

Q. How much information about the family will be shared with me?

A. You will receive a variety of profiles of adoptive families currently waiting to adopt who fit your circumstances and wishes. These profiles contain photos of the family with descriptions of their lifestyle and interests, their relationship with each other, and what their home and extended family are like. Each profile will also include a "Dear Birth Mother" letter. This letter is from the family, for you to learn why they are adoption and what they would provide for your baby's life. Profiles give a personal voice to their lives, and you can start to learn their values and dreams for their family and future. The profile is meant to be an outline of the family, containing first name and any other information they choose to share at that time. This information will help you choose which families you may like to adopt your baby. You may have one or two that you like, or you may have more. Once you have informed your Adoption Specialist of your favorites, she will help to make sure that they are a perfect match for you.

Q. How much contact can I have with my baby and the adoptive family after the adoption?

A. Your adoption plan is completely up to you. You can design an adoption plan that is most comfortable for you. If you desire, you can receive letters and pictures from the adoptive family after the adoption takes place. You can also send pictures, letters and gifts to the adoptive family and baby through us. American Adoptions will work with you to determine how much, or how little, contact you desire and accommodate you accordingly. Your Adoption Specialist will provide you with more details about your contact with the baby and the adoptive family after the adoption.

Q. Do I have to include the birth father in the adoption?

A. We encourage birth father participation in the adoption process. If the birth father is not supportive, or chooses not to participate in the adoption, that is OK. In most states, the birth father will be notified of the adoption, however we can still proceed if he chooses not to sign a consent to adoption or be involved in any way. If he is supportive and willing to be involved, then we have background information and legal papers for him to sign.

Q. Can my parents stop me from choosing adoption for my baby?

A. Adoption is your choice. This is your baby and you are the only one who will know if you can raise this baby. In most states, your parents cannot stop you legally from creating an adoption plan and working with American Adoptions. An adoption plan is something that may present a challenge for you emotionally if your parents do not want you to place the child. It is something that you will have to be prepared to deal with throughout your adoption process. However, helping your parents to understand why you feel adoption is the best option and also trying to include them in the process can help them to understand your reasoning, even if they do not agree with your decision. Ultimately, you are the only one who can make this decision because it will directly affect you and your child for the rest of your life. If you feel that it is best not to involve your family in your adoption decision, American Adoptions will support your decision. Your Adoption Specialist will just want to make sure that you have made the right choice for you and that you have the support you need.

Q. Once I sign the adoption papers, can I change my mind?

A. The laws vary from state to state. In most states, once you sign the papers after the child is born the adoption is final, however, your involvement in the adoption process before you sign the adoption paperwork does not obligate you to go through with the adoption. We will gladly go over the laws and procedures in your particular state.

Q. How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

A. This is a question that can only be answered by the individual family. Each family has their own style of how to introduce the adoption to the child. When you are matched with your adoptive family, you can ask this question to them. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it with them for you, just let her know. She would be happy to bring up the topic and share your wishes or provide some ideas that have been used by other adoptive families in the past. You will also have an opportunity to share with your baby what you would like them to know about you. You can fill out a keepsake booklet in order to share photos of you and your family, hobbies, stories and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can then provide that to your child as he/she grows older. You can write a letter to your baby, put together a picture album, and be as creative as you would like. Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby, or give a similar symbol of their love. If the father of your baby would like, he can also fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter for the baby. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. It is your opportunity to give your baby the knowledge of your love, personality, history, and reasons for your decision. The adoptive family will treasure whatever you provide, and share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and is a very celebrated date in their lives.

Q. What is the next step, how do I start the adoption process?

A. To learn more about the adoption process or receive an information packet call us at 1-800-ADOPTION, fill out the Free Adoption Information form, or e-mail us today adoptions@americanadoptions.com. An Adoption Specialist will contact you to answer any questions you may have.

Q. When I find the family that I like, how do I get in touch with them to let them know I have selected them?

A. Contact your Adoption Specialist and she will contact the family for you. You can also write them a letter explaining why you would like them to be parents of your child. A case plan will be completed, with the help of your Adoption Specialist, to create a personalized adoption plan for you so you can get to know the adoptive family.

Q. Will I meet and/or talk to the adoptive family prior to the adoption?

A. You will have an opportunity to talk with the adoptive family through a conference call initially. Usually, your Adoption Specialist will start off by introducing you to each other, and stay on the phone with you to help you feel comfortable and answer questions. Sometimes, you will be able to meet each other before the baby is born. It depends on your specific situation. If you have specific wishes, discuss them with your Adoption Specialist. If you would like the adoptive family to come to the hospital when you deliver, they will do their best to arrive quickly and spend time with you there. Depending on how your delivery goes, they may be able to arrive prior to the baby's birth. However, if you would prefer not to meet your adoptive family, be sure to share this with your Adoption Specialist. She will do her best to make arrangements for your adoption according to your wishes.

Q. What if I choose a family and am not comfortable with them and change my mind about them?

A. Adoption is your choice and we want you to be comfortable with the family that you have chosen. If you are not, then we want to know so we can make sure and find the perfect family for you and your baby. Talk with your Adoption Specialist about any concerns as soon as you begin to feel them, as she may be able to share more information to help you feel comfortable.

Q. What if I do not know who the father of the baby is or there is more than one possible father?

A. You are not alone. Many pregnant women do not know exactly who the father of their baby is or how to locate him and that is OK. We will explain the process of how an unknown birth father will be handled in your specific state. The most important thing is for you to be as honest and open about the birth fathers(s) as possible.

Q. What if the birth father does not agree with my adoption decision?

A. We have worked with many pregnant women where the birth father does not agree with the adoption plan. In most cases, he would be notified of the adoption proceedings by your Adoption Specialist and he would have to perform certain steps in order to contest or go against the adoption. He does have the option of contesting, however many birth fathers never actually take the necessary steps to assert their parental rights to the child. Therefore, the birth mother is able to continue with her adoption plan.

Q. Is it uncommon that the birth father is my boyfriend, fiancee, or husband and we want to place our baby for adoption?

A. Absolutely not. Many birth parents are still dating or even married and they are choosing adoption together. Every person's situation is unique and in many cases adoption is the best choice for the baby, even if the birth parents are still in a relationship. This can be due to age, financial instability, other children that they are already caring for or various other reasons. Having your boyfriend or spouse involved in your adoption can provide extra support and guidance for you during this time. We support couples who choose adoption together.

Q. How do I tell my family or friends about my adoption?

A. There are many different ways for you to tell your family and friends about your pregnancy and adoption plans. If you do not feel comfortable discussing it with them in person, then writing a letter can be an option. When you write a letter you can describe your reasons for choosing adoption and share all other thoughts and information you have collected about adoption. Writing a letter allows you to share this information, which you might otherwise forget if you were sitting in front of them. Read that letter directly to your family members and friends. Finding the strength to tell them can be very difficult. However, adoption is a loving and unselfish choice and explaining to your family members and friends the reasons that you feel adoption is best for your child is a step that is worth taking. If you do not feel comfortable telling your family and feel it would be best to keep it confidential, that is OK too. Talk with your adoption specialist about helpful tips and information that she can provide to you about your situation so you can decide what is best for you.

Q. Are people right when they say that this is selfish of me? How should I respond when they say something like that?

A. Choosing adoption for your child is the most loving and unselfish decision that you can make. Adoption reflects positively on everyone involved. Your child will be able to have all the opportunities and experiences that you want for him or her. You are also able to move ahead and accomplish those goals that you may have for yourself. Due to your situation it may be too difficult for you to raise a child at this point. Realizing that there are other families out there who are unable to have children and will love your child as their own can give you a rewarding feeling. Just knowing that you are doing something so wonderful for someone else is an amazing act of love.

It is important for you to surround yourself with people who are supportive of you and of adoption. Letting people know the reasons you chose adoption is a way to help others have more knowledge about adoption and how truly special it is to everyone involved. Adoption is your decision and therefore you are the only one who can make the decision. You are allowing a couple to become a family and your child to have everything that life has to offer. Have pride in knowing it takes a very strong person to recognize that adoption is the best option for the child.

Q. How will my other children react to adoption? How can I tell my children about my decision?

A. Teaching your children about adoption can be done in many ways. Reading books about adoption, telling them bedtime stories about situations that involve adoption, and even involving them in the adoption process or contact after the placement can be helpful in explaining your situation. Children can write letters or draw pictures to their new baby brother or sister. Often times this makes them feel as if the child is still a part of their life even when he/she is not living in the home. It also allows children to express their feelings and share more information that they may not have shared verbally.

Adoption is a positive choice and children need to understand some of the reasons that adoption was the choice for you. On an age appropriate level, explain that you want to "share" this baby with another family who cannot have babies of their own. Remind your children that this baby will always be a part of their lives, but they just live with another family now. You may ask your adoption specialist for further ideas about sharing your adoption experience with your other children.

"I was 17 years old when I had my son and although I did not have any other children I had very young siblings. My sister was 6 at the time that I placed my son for adoption. She saw my son after he was born and even held him and fed him. She knew that he was not coming home with me, but also had many questions. She met the adoptive family and really liked them. She is not 13 and understands why I chose adoption. She still has pictures of my son with her all the time. She has asked me many questions and has included him in her life. She knows how happy my son is and really believes that adoption was the best choice for me in the situation that I was in. She supports me and I continue to teach her about adoption every day. She now tells me that I was so brave and strong and she looks up to me for the choices that I made. I am so happy that I included her in my experience and allowed her to be a part of the adoption process."
Birthmother-Michele, Age 23

Q. Will my child understand my decision?

A. American Adoptions provides many ways for you to express the reasons that you chose adoption for your child. You can speak with the adoptive family and ask them how they plan to tell the child about you and the adoption. You can also complete our "Gift of Love" workbook and share your hobbies, interests, pictures of you and your family, and any other details about your life that you want the adoptive family to share with your child. You are also encouraged to write the child a letter for the adoptive family to keep that they can give to the child some day so you can explain to your child why you chose adoption. It is normal for birth mothers to have a lot of fears about the future of their children. However, expressing your feelings through writings, drawings, or other talents will show your child that you made this decision for them because you loved them and wanted what was best for them. American Adoptions was created by someone who was adopted and over the years many staff members who have chosen to work at our agency chose to work at American Adoptions because of their own positive adoption experience.

Q. Will I always wonder how my child is doing now?

A. You will always hope that your child is happy and you will never forget about the experience that you went through. However, getting to know the adoptive family during your pregnancy and visiting with them will provide you comfort by allowing you to see how much love they have for you child. Choosing to receive pictures and letters can help you stay informed and updated on how the child is doing. These things can reassure you that your child is happy and that you made the decision that was best for you and your child. You may feel some relief and comfort knowing that your child has what you wanted for them, a loving home full of opportunities.br />

"I receive pictures and letters two times a year and my son is almost 6 years old now. I patiently wait every few months to receive the next set of pictures and a letter. I love to see how much Ryan has grown, read about how he is doing in school, and learn about all the new experiences that he has the opportunity to be a part of. I have learned that he is in the gifted program in school, plays on a basketball, soccer, baseball, and wrestling team. He is going to Florida in February for a family vacation, and he loves to play with his cousin Zack. I am very thankful to receive these pictures and letters because it constantly reassures me that he is happy and that I made the best decision for him. I love him more than anything in the world and to see him this happy makes me happy. It is very rewarding to know that I made such a strong decision for my son and he has brought so much joy to all the people who are in his life, including my own. He is always in my heart and his pictures are memories that are forever with me."
Birth mother- Michelle, Age 23

Q. Will I regret my decision?

A. There are many emotions that correspond with adoption. Regret is one of those emotions that is unpredictable. However, knowing that you can choose a family that you are comfortable with and creating an adoption plan that meets your needs will help you feel confident about your adoption. Adoption is a very difficult decision and it is normal to question your thoughts and feeling throughout the process. When you think about the reasons that you have considered and chosen adoption you will most likely find that it was the best decision that you could have made for everyone involved. Knowing that you made a positive decision out of love and in the best interest of your child, will help you cope with any feelings or thought of regret should you experience this.

"I was scared that I might regret my decision later on when my daughter became older and when I was more financially stable and could have been able to raise her. However, seeing how happy she is with her adoptive family makes me feel good about my decision and I would never want to take all the wonderful experiences that she has had away from her. I could not give her everything that she deserved and everything that I had always dreamed for my children to have. Now she has all of that and I know that it is because of my brave decision that those opportunities are possible for her."
Birth mother-Autumn, age 22

Q. Will I be able to see my baby after the birth?

A. Your hospital experience should happen in the way that you decide that you want it to happen. If you choose to see your baby after he/she is born, you can do that. You can choose to hold your baby, feed your baby, and change your baby. You may also choose to have the adoptive family share in these experiences so they can begin bonding with the baby. It is sometimes helpful for you to have closure, therefore, having some interaction with your baby at the hospital can allow you to say whatever you need to say to your baby and cherish that memory. You may choose not to see or have any contact with the baby because it does not feel right for you. That is also an option and the baby can stay with the adoptive parents in the hospital or in the nursery. Each individual birth mother has to decide what she is comfortable with and what works best for her.

"I chose to see my son after he was born. I held him, fed him, changed him, rocked him, comforted him, talked to him, and even explained my reasons for choosing adoption for him. It was something that I felt I needed to do for myself to help with closure. I knew adoption was right for my situation, although I also knew it would be the most difficult decision that I ever have had to make. I said my goodbyes to my son and that is a moment that I will treasure until the day that we hopefully meet again."
Birthmother- Sarah, age 33

Q. What can I expect to feel after I say goodbye?

A. There are so many emotions that accompany the birth of a child: grief, loss, guilt, loneliness, sadness, relief, joy and happiness, sense of fatigue, confusion, and of course doubt are a few of the most common emotions. There are other emotions as well, yet you may not experience all of these emotions. Adoption is such an overwhelming decision that it may take you a while to sort through all of your feelings. These emotions should be expected and are completely normal. They are part of the healing process. How one women chooses to deal with her adoption decision may be very different with how another woman deals with hers. Some women speak of only happiness about their decision and consistently say that they have no regret. They know that they gave a family the greatest gift anyone could ever give them, a child. Some women will go through grief and loss feelings after their adoption. This may cause confusion because they feel so sad and lost, however, they know in their heart they made the right decision and feel happiness about that. It is important for you to understand all the possible emotions and verbalize your feelings to your loved ones and your Adoption Specialist so we can help you with counseling and other resources.

Mission Statement:

American Adoptions, a private adoption agency founded on the belief that lives of children can be bettered through adoption, provides safe adoption services to children, birth parents and adoptive families by educating, supporting and coordinating necessary services for adoptions throughout the United States. For more information on American Adoptions please call 1-800-ADOPTION (236-7846).

HOME PREGNANT? BECOME A FAMILY FIND A FAMILY RESOURCES SITE MAP ABOUT US CONTACT US

Related Web Sites:
1-800-HOMESTUDY OHIO ADOPTION OPTIONS MAGAZINE ARKANSAS ADOPTION ARKANSAS ADOPTION PROGRAMS