Q. How will my other children react to adoption? How can I tell my children about my decision?
A. Teaching your children about adoption can be done in many ways. Reading books about adoption, telling them bedtime stories about situations that involve adoption, and even involving them in the adoption process or contact after the placement can be helpful in explaining your situation. Children can write letters or draw pictures to their new baby brother or sister. Often times this makes them feel as if the child is still a part of their life even when he/she is not living in the home. It also allows children to express their feelings and share more information that they may not have shared verbally.
Adoption is a positive choice and children need to understand some of the reasons that adoption was the choice for you. On an age appropriate level, explain that you want to "share" this baby with another family who cannot have babies of their own. Remind your children that this baby will always be a part of their lives, but they just live with another family now. You may ask your adoption specialist for further ideas about sharing your adoption experience with your other children.
"I was 17 years old when I had my son and although I did not have any other children I had very young siblings. My sister was 6 at the time that I placed my son for adoption. She saw my son after he was born and even held him and fed him. She knew that he was not coming home with me, but also had many questions. She met the adoptive family and really liked them. She is not 13 and understands why I chose adoption. She still has pictures of my son with her all the time. She has asked me many questions and has included him in her life. She knows how happy my son is and really believes that adoption was the best choice for me in the situation that I was in. She supports me and I continue to teach her about adoption every day. She now tells me that I was so brave and strong and she looks up to me for the choices that I made. I am so happy that I included her in my experience and allowed her to be a part of the adoption process."
Birthmother-Michele, Age 23
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