American Adoptions -- America's Adoption Agency
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Personal Adoption Story
Kenny, Jane and Maya's Adoption Story
Technically Kenny and I began our adoption journey in June of 2009, but I know in my heart that God planned for us to adopt Maya long before that time. God put many people in our lives to guide us on this amazing journey. One of the brightest guiding lights for us was American Adoptions.
When Kenny and I were married in August of 2005 we hoped to start a family within a few years. Due to some medical issues I had as a teenager, we knew that we may not be able to become pregnant. We decided to leave this in God’s hands and see where He led us. After a few years of trying to conceive naturally, attempting some conservative fertility treatments, and lots of prayer and reflection, we realized that God planned for us to become adoptive parents. Though we were disappointed that we may not be able to have any biological children, we were excited to see where this new journey would take us and to someday meet the child made for us.
Because I am very much a go-getter, once we made the decision to adopt during the summer of 2009, things moved forward very rapidly. We contacted a local adoption agency to start learning about the adoption process and to consider working with that agency. The social worker we met with was very helpful and gave us a great overview of the adoption process. Unfortunately, the agency she worked for had a very long waiting list so we decided to explore other options in the hopes of finding our future child sooner. I began searching the internet and making phone calls. We found a few agencies that seemed pretty good, but nothing that seemed meant for us. Finally, when speaking with a social worker at a local agency, she asked if we had tried American Adoptions. She had recently helped a family who worked with American Adoptions and they had only great things to say about it
After hanging up the phone, I immediately went to American Adoptions Web site. I was somewhat leery of an agency that was entirely online or phone-based, but once I searched the site and read the testimonials, I was hooked. I loved how American Adoptions was started by an adoptive couple who wanted to make the process as easy as possible. I was impressed by the volumes of information on the website and the step-by-step guidance. I was happy to find that the agency had a special program for African American and mixed race children as we hoped to adopt a child of mixed race. I liked the convenience of online and conference call meetings and how the agency let you set your own budget and preferences to make things as comfortable as possible. What really sold me were the adoption stories I read from other adoptive parents and even birth parents. I found myself crying at the amazing experiences and new families that were brought together by American Adoptions. Once Kenny and our local social worker looked at the site, they agreed that it seemed like God had helped us find the agency that would help us find our future child.
After making initial contact with American Adoptions and sending in the preliminary application, the paperwork part of our adoption journey began. We were able to work with our local social worker to complete our home study. She visited us in our home three times to interview us and check out our house. We had to fill out a long form about ourselves and our parenting styles. Kenny and I enjoyed doing this as it brought us closer and prompted us to discuss what kind of parents we hoped to be. We also had to fill out piles of paperwork regarding our finances, background checks, employment history, etc. Though this was daunting and overwhelming at times, American Adoptions in addition to our social worker guided us along each step of the way. Being a very organized person, I loved how American Adoptions provided us with a manual and checklist to help us ensure everything got done.
As the paperwork was being completed, Kenny and I were also working on our profile. This profile is a group of pictures and text that would be shown to birthparents to introduce them to Kenny and I to see if we would be the right pick to parent their child. Kenny and I both joked about how this seemed like making a match.com page. We enjoyed taking pictures of ourselves and the people and things we loved. Addressing the questions provided by American Adoptions for the text portion of our profile was a great exercise for us as well. Again, it helped us examine ourselves, our relationship, and our thoughts and dreams about parenting. It is a process I recommend for all future parents.
Once we had our paperwork and profile items completed, we sent everything into American Adoptions and just waited for them to process our information. We quickly got word back that everything was in and before we knew it, we were emailed a proof of our profile. The profile looked wonderful and seeing it brought tears to my eyes as I realized how much closer we were getting to becoming parents. We were excited to show our profile to family and friends. We even had a few couples who wished they could have another child to give to us because they were so impressed with the profile!
Though the paperwork and profile parts of the adoption process are the busiest, the waiting part after the profile is activated can be the hardest time. It had only taken us five short months to go from “looking into adoption” to “active and available for parenting.” Our work had been done and now all we could do was wait and hope for a phone call. We knew it could be any day or several years before we got a call. The hard part was not knowing when the call would come. Fortunately, American Adoptions was with us through this time as well. While we waited for a match, we were connected with our adoptive parent specialist. We had a long conference call with her to talk about what the match process was like and to clear up any other questions we had at this time. We were impressed to learn that our profile would be shown to approximately 20 birth parents a week! Our adoption parent specialist checked in us through email periodically and was always available to answer any questions we had.
We felt like something was going to happen for us sooner than later, so we gradually started to prepare our home for a new addition. Though we did not want to get too much stuff and have it sitting there waiting for a child, we did want to be somewhat prepared in case things progressed quickly. We bought a few essential items like a car seat and crib. We began researching other items needed for a baby and comparing prices so we would be ready whenever the day came.
On November 16, 2009, only five and a half months after deciding to adopting and only three short weeks after going active, I checked my cell phone messages at lunch time. I started crying when I heard the message I had been waiting for. We had a potential match with a birth mother! I called American Adoptions right away and was connected with the birth parent specialist. She filled me in on the preliminary details about a birth mother in Virginia who was due in two weeks! We set up a time to conference call with Kenny after work. I could not believe we had a match so quickly and we were going to be parents so soon!
The next few weeks were a whirlwind as we prepared to bring a child into our home. Because the birth mother had not had an ultrasound, we did not know if the child would be a boy or girl. We were fine with that and looked forward to the surprise. We began preparing the nursery and buying all the essential baby items. We packed our bags to be ready to fly out whenever the birth mother went into labor. We got things lined up at work for when we would be gone. The hardest part of this time was not being able to tell very many people about our news. Though we told family and a few close co-workers, we did not want to tell too many people in case the adoption fell through. This was especially hard for me as I was so excited and just wanted to tell everyone I knew about our big news!
During the weeks between the match and the birth of our child, American Adoptions was with us again. They sent another packet of information and helped us with the new paperwork and financial dealings. Our adoptive parent specialist checked in on us periodically and went over the hospital plan with us so we knew what to expect when we arrived in Virginia. The birth parent specialist was in contact with us quite a bit as she kept in touch with the birth mother and gave us frequent updates. She also helped facilitate a conference call between us and the birth mother. Though this was somewhat of a difficult conversation, we were glad to have the contact with our birth mother and well-guided by the birth parent specialist.
On December 15, our birth mother was taken in for an induction. We knew, if she had not delivered by that date, that she would be induced on that day. The birth parent specialist kept in touch with us the entire time and let us know when the delivery was getting close so that we could head to the hospital as we still had a ninety minute drive. We were about thirty minutes from the hospital when our child was born. The birth parent specialist called to inform us that we had a healthy child and she asked if we wanted to know the sex. Kenny said he did, and when she told us that we had a little girl, I broke down crying. It really hit me. We were parents of a baby girl, Maya Helen. We decided to honor my grandmother by giving Maya my grandmother’s name for her middle name.
As soon as we got to the hospital, we were able to go to the nursery and feed our daughter. It was an overwhelming and joyful experience. Following that, we were able to meet with the birth mother and her family. Though I expected this to be a very awkward experience, it was actually very comfortable. In fact, it felt like we were meeting with family. We had a nice conversation and the birth mother told us she felt even more at peace with her decision as she was able to see how great of parents we would be with Maya.
We stayed in the hospital the next two days until Maya was discharged. We met with the birth mother again before she was discharged and exchanged gifts. Again, we felt blessed and that everything was meant to be. Our adoptive parent specialist and the birth parent specialist kept in touch with us the entire time and made sure everything was going smoothly. The hospital social worker and hospital staff were very helpful and nice as well. American Adoptions was in touch with us during the next week to help us get the paperwork completed for this stage and to inform us about the interstate compact process that needed to be completed before we could leave the state. We left the hospital on a Thursday and the interstate compact was done by the following Monday. Again, we were amazed at how quickly and efficiently everything progressed.
We were able to fly back to the Midwest on Christmas Day, and again, God blessed us with a smooth flight and a sleeping baby who was not fazed at all by flying. We were greeted at the airport by Kenny’s family and shared with them the best Christmas present we had ever received, our daughter Maya.
Since coming home with Maya we have quickly adjusted to being parents. We love every minute of it (even the 3 am feedings). We have had periodic email contact with Maya’s birth mother and she has been wonderful to Maya and to us. She even sent Maya two huge care packages through the agency. We have had lots of family and friends visit and we have been able to get all the necessary adoption, insurance, and medical paperwork completed now that we are home. We look forward to the day the adoption will be finalized but we are cherishing each day with Maya right now. In less than the time of a normal pregnancy, God has created and gifted us with the most special girl we could ever hope for.
