I was a high school drop out and a single mother of a two year old and pregnant, I was so lost and confused. I knew that having two children with no help from their fathers was going to be extremely hard. My mother asked me to look into my options ( I knew abortion was not right ) So I got on-line one day and took a look at an adoption web-site I looked at couples, but It didn't change my mind any I was not going to give MY BABY away. Then the more I thought about it I was not giving her away, I was giving her a family that she needed and giving the couple the child they dreamed and prayed about for 10 years. I thought deeply about placing her for adoption the first three months of the pregnancy then I made up my mind.
I know I would not be complete if I didn't have my 2 year old daughter Liberty, being a mom was the greatest, most fulfilling but also the hardest thing I had ever experienced. Having Liberty call me MOMMY and hearing I LOVE YOU MOMMY! (The one and only thing I took for granted.) The one thing I knew some couples would never get to hear, so Why was I being so selfish and wanting to keep her to myself when I knew someone out there will love her just as much and knowing that this child I'm carrying can make someone's heart melt the first time their called "Mommy" and "Daddy" I could not take that joy away from someone else, when I already experienced the joy and love of being a mom. Was my Joy of being a Mom enough to give me the courage to give her to a family I barely knew?
I finally made up my mind... I was going to be brave and sacrifice my own feelings and break my own heart so someone else can experience the joy of being "Parents". There I was 4 months pregnant and going through the emotional task of looking at couple after couple after couple of hopeful people just wanting the chance to become parents, it was so hard that I had to discipline myself and come up with an outline of what I wanted in a couple. Who was I to be so picky why I should be the one to choose her parents? It was so hard and confusing. I was born and raised in Florida I loved when my mom and dad took us to the beach, fishing, camping, and all the outdoors things that you can do year round in Florida. I wanted my child to be able to experience all the things I did growing up. So I narrowed down my search to couples in Florida and honestly it didn't make it any easier. So one day while reading a couples profile I got to feel the first kick of my baby, I knew !
It was a sign this was the couple this is whom she choose to be her "Mommy and Daddy". After coming to the realization that they were the one We began talking through instant messenger and I began to realize how much they wanted and needed to be "Parents" they struggled for year after year with no luck of becoming pregnant (another thing I took for granted: how easily I got pregnant) I knew they were the ones. We met and their emotional roller coaster started, Was it real? Was I serious? Was their chances of becoming "Mommy and Daddy" final possible? Has their 10 year wait been enough?
I was serious and I wanted them involved in every part of the birth of THEIR daughter (She was not longer mine, she belonged with them and I knew it even though it was heart breaking I knew she was THEIR daughter I just had the Joy of having her for 9 months in my belly but forever in my heart.) They were always there for me emotionally and very supportive through out the whole pregnancy. I was ready and excited about making them parents I held all their hopes in dreams in my belly; I was helping them complete their 10 year struggle to extreme happiness. I was the reason their family would "Finally be Complete." I felt powerful and extremely happy that I could make their dreams FINALLY come true.
The day had come; Jan 24, 2007 the hardest but most rewarding day I have ever experienced. She was ready to meet her "Mommy and Daddy" I decided to do a c-section so The Sonntags' would not miss THEIR daughters' birth. (They were so eager and excited they spent the night in the hospital parking lot). I knew Polli didn't want to miss the birth of HER daughter so she held my hand through out the whole c-section. After recovering I got to see Kaitlyn she's so beautiful and perfect. It was hard seeing her New Mommy holding her, I tried being strong but it was so hard seeing how Dave and Polli looked at Kaitlyn and kissed her forehead, I can see all the years of pain and heartbreak washed away from their face and eyes when they held her. I knew I made the right choice by giving her the family that she deserved, and she made the right choice in choosing them as her parents.
Adoption was a life changing experience and my experience with adoption has led me to change my dream of becoming a physical therapist to majoring in sociology. I'm planning on majoring in Sociology so I can help others throughout adoption processes and help the mothers with the emotional aspects of adoption.
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