Adoption is a word I first heard when I was about nine years old. I was told that I was adopted and that my birth mother had issues and wanted better for me. I spent my first year of life in and out of foster homes and spent my first Christmas alone in the hospital. Then at 18 months old I was connected with a family who would love me for me!
As I got older I resented my parents because I thought a part of me was missing. I had fights beyond fights with my mom because I blamed her for my birth mother not wanting me. My teenage life was like no other regular teenager. I dropped out of school and got pregnant at 18 years old. I knew at that point in my life I wanted better for myself and for my daughter. November 25, 2006 my daughter was born. I went back to school to become a Medical Assistant. As I thought things were getting better, that I was getting my life back on track, things just ended up getting worse. In the end, I realize I let my daughter and myself down. I pulled the same excuses as I did in high school and didn’t finish what I started.
At the age of twenty I found myself pregnant again. I tried and tried to ignore it because I know it was going to disappoint my parents. I knew they were going to say “how did you let this happen again?" You know how hard it is with the child you have now.” So I avoided the situation as much as possible. I didn’t have any medical treatment and I didn’t even know when I was due or if the baby was healthy. I finally sat down with my mom and we talked and at the end of the conversation I knew it was wrong of me to try and avoid the situation. I came to the conclusion that one child was plenty for me to handle at this time in my life. I agreed to meet with American Adoptions.
Through American Adoptions I was paired with Annsley, an adoption specialist. Annsley had me come into the office and sat me down to discuss my options. I knew adoption wasn’t the only way to go but I knew it was the right way to go. I went through about five families before I found Michelle and Dave; the family that I can now call a part of my family. We had one conference call and I knew for a fact that they were the family for my baby. They wanted nothing but a baby of their own.
On September 24th I knew something wasn’t right. I went and checked myself into the hospital. Not knowing what had gone on for the past nine months, I was hit with the biggest surprise, twins! On Sept 27th I was told I was going to have a c-section so I called Annsley right away and asked her to contact Michelle and Dave. They gathered there things and came all the way from Virginia within 24 hours. Then on Sept 28th I gave birth to two identical twin boys. I met Michelle and Dave for the very first time and I felt complete. Yes, I knew what I was going to do was the hardest decision I would make in my life. However, I knew God doesn’t put obstacles in our way that we can’t overcome.
For the rest of my life I knew I would question myself with all these “what if’s” and “how could I."I had no clue how I would explain to my daughter that she has two brothers out there. However, I knew that I would never question the family I chose for my two boys. The biggest gift I could ever have given myself and my child would be giving a couple a baby to complete their family; not because I had to but because I wanted to. Michelle and Dave are two of the most wonderful people I will ever meet in my entire life. Now finally, at the age of twenty, going on twenty-one, I know adoption isn’t just giving a child away, it’s much deeper than that. Adoption is love and a family combined into one. It means more than one could ever imagine.
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