Many birth mothers wonder how their child will be told his or her adoption story - specifically what the adoptive family will tell the child about his or her birth parents. Some may even wonder if their child will be told about the adoption at all - or if the child will grow up not every knowing that he or she was adopted.

American Adoptions recommends that most families tell their child(ren) that they are adopted from a very early age, so the child grows up understanding that they are adopted. Most families begin with books and story time to help familiarize the child with the vocabulary of adoption. As the child gets older, they’ll share more details of the adoption story, making sure that they are age-appropriate to the child’s stage of development. Most importantly, they try to make sure the child feels safe and loved and has positive self-identity.

Most families say that they tell the child all of the information the birth mother wanted him or her to know about her and the rest of her family. In addition to sharing this information, most families say that they tell the child about the time they got to spend with his or her birth parents, how special the birth parents are to the family and how much the birth parents love the child. 

If there is anything special that you would like the adoptive family to share with your child or keepsakes you’d like for them to have in the future, you should talk with your Adoption Specialist and the adoptive family to ensure your wishes are met. Depending on the type of adoption and contact you choose to have with the adoptive family, you may be able to tell your child about your shared adoption story yourself.