close menu

“What does adoption mean to a child?”

Watch Video
Call 1-800-ADOPTION Get Free Info

Get Free Info

Will an Adoptive Family Love My Child as Much as Their Own?

Understanding an Adoptive Couple's Journey

Women considering adoption sometimes believe that an adoptive couple can’t possibly love an adopted child as much as one of their own biological children. However, this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Understanding the difficult journey adoptive parents take to bring their child home proves how much the opportunity to love a child means to them and why they love their child more than they ever could’ve imagined.

An Adoptive Couple's Journey to Parenthood

A couple falls in love, gets married and eventually decides the time is right for them to start a family.

Several years pass, and they are unable to become pregnant. They visit a doctor, who prescribes medication to help them get pregnant. But after a year, they still have no luck, so their doctor refers them to a specialist who administers a series of shots, medications and treatments.

The medications and treatments cause side effects like hot flashes, mood swings and depression. The hopeful parents start to feel like animals in a testing lab, and their marriage sometimes feels strained. They know the end result is worth it, so they hold on to hope.

Years pass, and they still cannot get pregnant.

Often by this time, the couple’s friends and other family members have begun to have children, and they are reminded of their infertility everywhere: on TV, in stores, online, and even in casual conversations. While these feelings of helplessness and frustration may be difficult for most of us to understand, they are very real for thousands of couples every year.

You can imagine the relief and excitement these hopeful parents (and others who cannot or do not have biological children for reasons other than infertility) begin to feel when they begin exploring adoption — a very real solution to becoming parents. They often feel a sense of hope that they maybe have not experienced for years.

And when the moment finally arrives, when the new parents first get to hold their new baby because of a birth mother’s amazingly selfless decision, the joy they feel is indescribable. This was a moment they thought might never happen for them, but they are now able to know what it is like to have a child to love and care for.

Having children is easy for many people, but not for everyone. Adoptive parents often struggle physically, mentally and emotionally for years. Even if they don’t experience the pain of infertility, adoptive parents wait for a child. There is a hole in their family. And there is a family out there right now who has been waiting to meet you and who is hoping that your child will be that missing piece they’ve been searching for.

Why an Adopted Child is Loved as Much as a Biological Child

Now that you understand an adoptive family’s journey, how much are they are going to love their child? They have been reserving a special place in their hearts and homes for years. They are prepared in every way to become a mom or dad. They have carefully-prepared empty nurseries, family traditions they ache to share, a college fund set aside for a child they’ve never met and a back yard they dream of teaching a baby to walk in. And when they are finally given that opportunity, they don’t take it for granted. 

And the same is true for families who do have other children before adopting a child. They love all of their children equally, and they don’t consider adoption to be “second-best” or a “last resort.” Their children are thrilled to welcome their new brother or sister, no matter how that sibling comes to them. All that matters is that he or she is an equally important member of their family.

Love is universal, especially to children. The memories and experiences adoptive parents share with their children is what their love is based upon — not on whether or not they share the same bloodline. 

Adoptive parents have fought hard for their children and love them as fiercely as any parent. For adoptive parents who struggled and waited so long to share small, everyday moments with their child, those moments are even more cherished and appreciated. No milestone is overlooked and no time spent together is taken for granted.

Still worried that your child’s parents couldn’t possibly love him or her as much as if they were blood? Just ask an adoptive parent. They’ll share their stories of exactly how much their children mean to them.

You can also contact us online or call us at 1-800-ADOPTION to learn more about the happiness of adopted children, as well as the loving families who raise them. Or, you can browse through the adoption profiles of waiting families to hear from hopeful parents themselves about how much love they have to give to your child.

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

Want to speak to someone who has chosen adoption?
Meet Michelle — A Proud Birth Mom
Ask an Adoption Question
View More Waiting Familes
Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

Read More

Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

Read More