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Why an Adopted Child is Loved as Much as a Biological Child

[Understanding an Adoptive Couples Journey]

Because you're considering adoption out of love for your child, you want to ensure you're making the best decision for your baby.  You want to know your child will be loved unconditionally. See for yourself just how much this baby will be loved – watch videos of waiting families here, or call us at 1-800-ADOPTION to learn more.

Hopeful adoptive parents are ready to provide exactly the type of life you want for your child – and all the love in the world.  

  • These couples have been trying for years to grow their family. They want nothing more than to be parents.  

  • Hopeful adoptive parents have spent years preparing their lives and homes for a child and are physically, emotionally and financially ready for parenthood. 

  • Given the opportunity to adopt, these parents will make their child the centerpiece of their lives. They will not take the gift of parenthood for granted. 

With over 30 years of experience as one of the nation’s largest domestic infant adoption agencies, American Adoptions has helped place thousands of babies with loving families. Understanding the difficult journey adoptive parents take to bring your child home proves how much the opportunity to love a child means to them and why they love your child more than anything.  

This guide will explore the impact adoption has on adoptive families and how they can provide your child the same love they would provide a biological child. To get more information, fill out our online form or call 1-800-ADOPTION to speak to an adoption professional who can answer your questions.  

Until then, learn how an adoptive family will love your child.  

An Adoptive Couple's Journey to Parenthood  

A couple falls in love, gets married, and eventually decides the time is right for them to start a family.  

Several years pass, and they are unable to become pregnant. They visit a doctor, who prescribes medication to help them get pregnant. But after a year, they still have no luck, so their doctor refers them to a specialist who administers a series of shots, medications, and treatments.  

The medications and treatments cause side effects like hot flashes, mood swings, and depression. The hopeful parents start to feel like animals in a testing lab, and their marriage sometimes feels strained. They know the result is worth it, so they hold on to hope.  

Years pass, and they still cannot get pregnant.  

“Infertility testing is very taxing. Every month, you start dreaming of being pregnant, of having a child, and then if you don’t become pregnant, those hopes are just dashed,” said adoptive mom Sherry, who went through years of infertility treatment with her husband. “You spend some time grieving, and then you pull yourself together and you try again. And five years of that was just really, really hard, not just on me, but on my husband, Harry.”  

Often by this time, the couple’s friends and other family members have begun to have children, and they are reminded of their infertility everywhere: on TV, in stores, online, and even in casual conversations. While these feelings of helplessness and frustration may be difficult for most of us to understand, they are very real for thousands of couples every year.  

You can imagine the relief and excitement these hopeful parents (and others who cannot or do not have biological children for reasons other than infertility) begin to feel when they begin exploring adoption — a very real solution to becoming parents. They often feel a sense of hope that they maybe have not experienced for years.  

And when the moment finally arrives, when the new parents first get to hold their new baby because of a birth mother’s amazingly selfless decision, the joy they feel is indescribable. This was a moment they thought might never happen for them, but they are now able to know what it is like to have a child to love and care for.  

“Being parents is the best thing that has ever happened to us,” Sherry said. “It’s the most fulfilling, the most exciting, the most educational, the most fun. It has just been the thing in our life that we are most grateful for.  

“And who do we have to be grateful to? It’s the birth mothers. Such incredible, strong, courageous women. We carry them in our hearts in a special place because they made us a family.”  

Watch more of Sherry and Harry’s open adoption story here 

Having children is easy for many people, but not for everyone. Adoptive parents often struggle physically, mentally, and emotionally for years. Even if they don’t experience the pain of infertility, adoptive parents wait for a child. There is a hole in their family. And there is a family out there right now who has been waiting to meet you and who is hoping that your child will be that missing piece they’ve been searching for.  

If you’re ready to find them, you can start searching for waiting families here

Why an Adopted Child is Loved as Much as a Biological Child  

Now that you understand an adoptive family’s journey, how much are they are going to love this child?

They have been reserving a special place in their hearts and homes for years. They are prepared in every way to become a mom or dad. They have carefully prepared empty nurseries, family traditions they ache to share, a college fund set aside for a child they’ve never met and a backyard they dream of teaching a baby to walk in.

And when they are finally given that opportunity, they don’t take it for granted.   

“My mom and dad were a couple who weren’t able to become a mom and dad without adoption,” said Scott Mars, co-founder of American Adoptions. “Of all the people in this world, they deserved to be parents. And without adoption, they would not have been able to share their love, to share their life and give someone the life that I had.  

“Because of adoption, my life was filled with love and opportunity.” 

Watch the video here.  

And the same is true for families who do have other children before adopting a child. They love all of their children equally, and they don’t consider adoption to be “second-best” or a “last resort.”

Their children are thrilled to welcome their new brother or sister, no matter how that sibling comes to them. All that matters is that he or she is an equally important member of their family.  

Love is universal, especially to children. The memories and experiences adoptive parents share with their children is what their love is based upon — not on whether or not they share the same bloodline.   

Adoptive parents have fought hard for their children and love them as fiercely as any parent. For adoptive parents who struggled and waited so long to share small, everyday moments with their child, those moments are even more cherished and appreciated. No milestone is overlooked, and no time spent together is taken for granted.  

“[My parents] were at every school event. They helped us with homework. They read and told us stories every night. I grew up able to travel the world, and I learned piano...I took dance classes for 18 years, and my parents were there for every recital,” said Diana, who grew up in an open adoption. “The love is unconditional and it’s constant, and they will always make it felt.”  

To watch more of Diana’s story about growing up adopted, click here

Every family has their reasoning for why they choose adoption, but all of those reasons boil down to one thing — providing a lifetime of love and care for their adopted son or daughter.   

Don’t just take it from us.   

Take it from adoptive families who have had their dreams of parenting come true, by adopting a child through our agency. You can read more of their stories and testimonials of what adoption has meant to them and their family by clicking here.  

At American Adoptions, we know firsthand how much love adoptive parents have for their children. We also know how much love you have for your baby to even be considering this choice. That’s because many of our staff members have personal adoption experiences, as adoptive parents, birth parents and adoptees. We would be happy to answer your questions and tell you more about what your heroic decision will mean to adoptive parents and how loved your child will be. 

If you are still worried that a family cannot possibly love your child as much as they would love a biological child, call us at 1-800-ADOPTION or fill out our online form to learn more about the loving families who adopt or are looking to adopt.  

You may also be interested to browse through the adoption profiles of waiting families to hear from hopeful parents themselves. You will get a feel for their desire to be parents and to provide your child with a lifetime of love and happiness.   

Disclaimer
Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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