your baby, your choice - dealing with unsupportive birth father, parents

As if confronting an unplanned pregnancy wasn't hard enough, many expectant mothers worry that once they put into place their ideal adoption plan, the father of the baby, or even her parents, will try to stop the adoption.

The bottom line is that adoption is your choice; no one can force you to into parenthood or into having an abortion. If the birth father is not supportive, or chooses not to participate in the adoption, that is OK. Laws governing birth father consents vary from state to state. In most states, the birth father will be notified of the adoption, however the adoption can still proceed if he chooses not to sign a consent to adoption or be involved in any way. While some birth fathers may threaten to contest the adoption, they rarely follow through with it. If you do not know who the birth father is, that is OK as well. The adoption can still proceed.

Your parents also cannot prevent you from choosing adoption. However, an adoption plan is something that may present a challenge for you emotionally if your parents do not want you to place your child for adoption. It is something that you will have to be prepared to deal with throughout your adoption process. Including them in the process can help them understand your reasoning, even if they do no agree with your decision. They may also find comfort knowing that just as you are able to stay in contact with your child through pictures and letters, they also have that option.

Ultimately, you are the only one who can make this decision - you know better than anyone what is best for you and your baby. If choosing adoption will allow you to give your baby the life you want for them, then follow your heart.