It has been 2 1/2 months since my beautiful daughter was born. I had no doubts that the couple I picked were perfect. I recently got my first set of pictures. She is so adorable.
I am not the typical birth mother. I just turned 41 last week. I have 3 children at home. My oldest is 19 1/2. Two younger ones 12 and 9. I would have expected grandchildren before another baby of my own. I didn't have a long term relationship with the father. Becoming pregnant wasn't anything either us were ready for, like many men, the father wasn't interested in the baby at all. I couldn't manage 4 kids alone at this time in my life. I knew I wasn't prepared to give her the love attention and life she deserved.
I love her with all my heart just like my other kids. The life she has now will be charmed. Her mom and dad think the sun rises and sets for her. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done. It truely broke my heart. The loss does get better. It is hard to prepare for the feelings you have afterwards. Your mind knows that you are doing the right thing but sometimes your heart needs some time to catch up. I still have days that I cry for Emma Sophia. Some days I just look at her photos and cry, a mixture of sadness and joy. I see the love in the photos they share already and she is still such a tiny baby. I know that she will always be the apple of their eyes.
I changed at least three peoples lives for the better! Her adoptive parents, Steve and Adriana, and of course our daughter Emma. That is the most wonderful feeling, I can't describe it verbally. How often can you make a gift to someone that has such an impact. A forever impact! I love all three of them. I feel such love for her parents like they are my family now. I miss my daughter so much but I am equally proud of my choices. I look at those beautiful blue eyes of hers and wonder how anyone could consider abortion when after a little inconvience you could make such a precious choice. I couldn't be more proud of my life. I thought I would be ashamed but it is totally the opposite. I am going back to college next month and I am changing my major to social work. I want to help other people with life's hardest choices. I think I am in a unique position to show them that you can always turn lemons into lemonade. Birthmother 2008, Sharon
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