So it all started out six months into to pregnancy. I had regular menstrual cycles, no movement from baby, and not a lot of weight gain. All in all I didn't know I was pregnant. When I felt little Barrett kick for the first time, I was in shock and disbelief. So I called the doctor and set up an appointment, and that's when the doctor conformed indeed I was pregnant.
After finding out I went to my mother and spoke with her. At that time she told me I had three choices; to keep him, Give him up, or Abort. Well, I knew at that time keeping him and aborting him were out of the question. So that's when I decided to give him up for adoption. Not telling anyone about the baby, I decided to leave the state and stay with some family to make it a little easier. It was a lot harder pregnancy after that- Crazy emotions, crazy thought and the hardest thing to deal with is putting my child up for adoption. I had no means to support little Barrett. I could barley take care of myself as I was still a child myself, at the time.
I found the perfect adoptive parents not to long after moving down to the states. Clint and Adrienne, they had everything I wanted to give Barrett but could not do it myself. They had stability, careers, a home, no struggling to make ends meet and of course all the love in the world.
After a long wait, on July 9th, 2007 the doctors decided to induce me. Unfortunately there was a complication with the induction, mine and Barrett's heart rates were dropping and an emergency C-section was preformed. I will never forget his cry and my aunt looking over at me and telling me how beautiful he is!
So it was Barrett and I in the hospital for five days. During that time I struggled between wanting to keep him and doing the right thing, continuing with my adoption plan. It was nerve racking being able to feed him and care him, and know that the time was growing near to a final decision. The night before I had to make my final decision Clint and Adrianne wrote me a letter expressing their thoughts and feeling about everything. At that moment I looked at Barrett and told him we would meet again soon, but for now you need to go with your family. The next day at noon, it came time to sign papers and get things on the roll so my aunt and uncle stood by me for support and for witnesses. I held Barrett in my arms and signed my name on the last line. After that they took him to the nursery and I left my room in a wheelchair. At the exit Clint and Adrianna were there to send me off. I flew back to Alaska soon after that to recover with my more immediate family. I got a job working for REI, started counseling, and most importantly kept in contact with the family, since we had an open adoption. Now I am on way to gaining a career of my dreams and succeeding in anything I put my mind to. Barrett is doing wonderful. He is walking, talking, smiling, and being just the greatest little character out there.
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