"I Have Extended My Family" - What Sarah Gained by Choosing Adoption
Sarah is a brave birth mother who chose adoption to give her baby a life full of love and opportunities. If you feel inspired by her story, contact us today to learn more about adoption and what it can mean for you. Call 1-800-ADOPTION now to get free information about the adoption process.
I had been in a casual relationship with someone I saw no future with. I had just come out of a marriage, and we were both single parents with young kids. I started to realize that I was in a bad place emotionally and not making the best decisions for my daughter or myself.
Things were beginning to fade out with the relationship when I found out I was pregnant. I knew immediately that keeping the baby was not an option. I was already coparenting with someone, and adding this situation would not have been fair to anyone — my daughter, the baby, my family, the birth father’s family (they were the ones who basically raise his first child).
I contemplated my options for a few moments but, ultimately, I knew there was no way I could abort the pregnancy. I knew I would rather tell everyone on the plant that I was choosing adoption, than to live with having aborted the pregnancy. The birth father said he would support me no matter what I decided. So, adoption it was!
I have several people in my life who have been blessed with adoption. A friend of mine was adopted and two other adopted children. I have seen the love and support that goes along with the process from that side. I talked to those friends and did a lot of research on what the best options were for the adoption, such as open vs. closed. Frequently I ended up reading information on the American Adoptions page, and I found the whole site very helpful and user-friendly and the company seemed to be grounded in wonderful core values.
When I spoke to my friend who adopted within the U.S., I asked her what company she went through and if she had a good experience. Turned out it was American Adoptions, and she had nothing but great things to say! So, that confirmed it for me. I connected with American Adoptions right away and got the ball rolling.
I looked at so many profiles. I didn’t know how I could possibly pick one family over another. Every family was so deserving of a baby. I had a hard time coming up with ways of narrowing down the search because I felt guilty eliminating anyone as a potential parent. So, I prayed. I prayed on this a lot. Then it came to me. I wanted more of a connection with someone than the bond of the child. So, I looked for certain connections.
I spent a whole weekend with my best friend going through a list that Laura sent me. There were a few families that stuck out, but nothing that was 100%. That Monday, I told Laura my situation, and she said a couple more families were approved over the weekend, and she would send them to me.
God had a plan. I read Patti and Josh’s profile and was instantly sure that they were meant to be Mom and Dad to the baby I was carrying. All the connections were there — and then some. I sent it to my best friend and called her while she read it. She shouted, “It’s them! It’s them! It’s them!” It was them.
Patti and Josh stuck it out with me in times when they were advised by their lawyer to back out because the birth father changed his tune. He threatened to fight the adoption. We kept the faith that brought us together. The baby was always supposed to be theirs, and I knew it as much as they did. While I already knew Patti and Josh and knew they would be amazing parents, I was even more sure after they went through the process with me and were open about their fears while continuing to support me completely.
I delivered at 41 weeks at the Midwife Center after being induced. Patti and Josh did not make it in time, and I had about 4.5 hours to spend with Lucy before they got there. My mom had kept them in the loop, but as soon as I could get to my phone, I texted them to let them know that she was nursing like a champ and was very excited to meet her mom and dad!
We had already talked about me pumping because it was something I wanted to give to Lucy. Something I could help with. I nursed her several times when they visited before leaving, and I pumped and gave them milk. I shipped milk to them for about four months until it got too hot to ship it safely. It was enough that she got breastmilk in at least one bottle a day until she was 9 months old!
From finding out I was pregnant to today, I have been confident I made the right decision with choosing adoption, choosing American Adoptions, and choosing the adoptive family I did.
Adoption has changed my life because I have extended my family. A child that I knew I could not parent is now a forever part of my life, and she has an amazing mom and dad who I stay in great contact with. We touch base at least once a week — not because there is any obligation to do so, but because we are friends. We talk about all the things life throws at us. The good and the bad. We have visited together (once COVID allowed that to happen!) and we have an agreement that we will be open with both girls — my daughter and theirs — about their relation to each other as they get older. We will foster their connection but ultimately let them decide how much of a relationship they want to have with one another.
Adoption also changed my life because I became an advocate for something I knew almost nothing about previously. Not all birth moms come out of the process with as much confidence as I have, but I will do my part to support as many women as possible through the process in hopes that they can see the good hey are doing for so many people.
Ready to find out what adoption can do for you and your baby? Contact us today at 1-800-ADOPTION to get free information and support.
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