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Father of the Baby

Before you make the decision to place your baby for adoption, there are many steps in the decision-making process to consider. One of the most common concerns for women considering adoption is if the biological father has to be involved in the process.

Adoption is a brave and selfless decision. Having the support of the birth father, your friends, and your family helps confirm you are making the best choice for your baby. But what happens when the biological father of your baby is not supportive of your decision? What if you are unsure who the birth father is?

For more than 30 years, we have helped birth mothers from all walks of life place their baby for adoption. While every situation is unique, we are here to help provide clarity surrounding the biological fathers’ involvement in your adoption process by providing answers to the three most common questions asked.

1. Does the Biological Father Have to Be Involved?

Did You Know?

While the birth father does not have to be involved in your adoption process, every state has its own laws surrounding birth father rights. Fill out this form to learn more about your state’s laws.

The short answer is no, the birth father does not have to be involved in your adoption process.

In an ideal situation, you and the birth father would have a healthy relationship, he would be directly involved in the decision-making process and fully support your choice to place your baby for adoption.

The reality is that this isn’t always the case.

In most adoptions, the relationship between the birth mother and biological father is toxic or non-existent, the birth father wants no involvement with the pregnancy or is generally unsupportive because they lack information on the benefits of adoption.

If you are in a situation where you have a strong relationship with the biological father, but they remain against your adoption plan, the best path is to:

  • Read this guide.
  • Consider counseling and mediation options.
  • Speak with a specialist about the laws and restrictions in your state – adoption is still an option.

If you are considering adoption but have concerns with the involvement or lack thereof from the biological father, fill out this online form to speak with an adoption specialist.

2. What if I Don’t Know Who the Father Is?

Many women choose adoption because they do not want to raise their child in a single-parent home. Adoption allows you to find a loving and caring two-parent home for your baby. Although we recommend taking every possible step to determine who the father is, we understand this is not always a possibility.

You control your decision to place your baby for adoption. If you are unaware of who the father may be, call 1-800-ADOPTION to begin adoption planning.

3. What Are the Birth Father Rights in My State?

While the birth father does not have to be involved in your adoption process, every state has its own laws surrounding birth father rights. To learn more about your specific situation and the birth father rights in your state, fill out this online form, or call 1-800-ADOPTION to speak with an adoption specialist. They will walk you through what to expect and help you determine the best plan to begin your adoption process.


Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. American Adoptions provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

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