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Paul & Jessica
Thank you for exploring our profile. We imagine this is a huge, perhaps overwhelming and uncertain decision for you, motivated by a desire to give your child the best possible life. We're excited to welcome another child into our hearts and home, to love and support them, and watch them thrive. We know this journey isn't always easy, but we embrace it with open arms and unconditional love. Your consideration means the world to us.
Our Family Traditions
If raising our daughter, Eliana, has taught us nothing else, it's that EVERYTHING changes quickly. That said, we cherish the small moments and have made them our family "traditions." In warm months, we enjoy strolling the farmer's market every Saturday morning, picnicking in the park with friends, and splashing around with the hose or in the kiddie pool in the backyard. In colder months, we bundle up for walks, visit local museums, and take spontaneous weekend trips. Regardless of the weather, we love cooking together! We look forward to our "pancake Saturdays" and nightly family dinners. Eliana has her own stool so she's always a part of the action, stirring, pouring, and tasting things at counter-level. Our favorite tradition, however, comes at the end of each day, when we tuck Eliana into bed together, taking time as a family to connect and wind down with books and songs before "lights out." Among our extended family, Thanksgiving holds special significance! Numerous friends and family come into town each year for a multi-day celebration filled with music, laughter, and gratitude. As Jessica's mom says, "If you come once, you're always welcome back!"
In England, we cherish our weekly Friday Shabbat dinner with Paul's family. We gather at Paul's parents' house to light candles and catch up on the week's events. It's a tradition that Paul's family has passed down through generations, and it's a lovely way to bring the week to a close and welcome the new one in as a family.
Discussing Adoption
First and most importantly, we will tell our child that they are deeply loved and cherished by both their birth mother and our family, and that their adoption is a testament to the strength and resilience of everyone involved. We will always be honest about their adoption story, beginning to talk about it from an early age, and using language and concepts that are appropriate for their developmental stage. Our goal will always be to help them develop a strong sense of identity and self-esteem by acknowledging and valuing all aspects of their story.
We will emphasize that this decision was made with great care and consideration and is probably the bravest and toughest decision anyone can make. We will encourage them to ask questions about their adoption story and reassure them that we will always answer as best and as honestly as we can. Finally, throughout these conversations, we will be prepared to address complex feelings and will always provide a safe and supportive environment in which we can all discuss them openly and freely.
How We Met
We first met at a New Year's Eve party in London in 2007. Though the encounter was brief, Jessica was struck by Paul's warm smile and positive energy. We became friends on social media, but life and distance quickly got in the way. Fast forward ten years: Jessica had just gotten out of a relationship and was traveling in Nepal. She remembers looking over a beautiful mountainside and feeling at peace with the idea that she may be single for the rest of her life and adopt a child on her own. At the convincing of a friend, she got her horoscope read by a trusted guru in town. He discussed Jessica's career path and health trajectory, but her ears perked up when he began to list the characteristics of her "ideal partner." To this day, Jessica doesn't know why she did it, but after almost ten years of no contact, she immediately looked Paul up on Facebook to see if he fit the bill. Sure enough, he met the criteria, so Jessica threw caution to the wind and sent Paul a message. Soon after, Jessica went to London for work and asked Paul out for a drink. Always up for an adventure, Paul said, "Yes!" Needless to say, the spark was there and the timing was perfect! Paul came to the U.S. to visit Jessica and within the year, we were married. After six happy years together, we're still grateful to the horoscope reader in Nepal. He was clearly onto something!
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Our Extended Families
Our family stretches across the United States and Europe, which means we have many stories of travel and adventure in our home. Jessica's parents live a short drive away, making impromptu hangouts and date night babysitting abreeze. We're lucky to have them close, and we see them almost every week. We also have a swarm of cousins nearby who have young children and growing families of their own. We're very close to them and often host family get-togethers and play dates. Jessica's sister and her family live in New Orleans. We visit regularly and love the jazz, color, and vibrance of the city!
Paul's family lives mostly in England, but he has close cousins scattered across the globe. Regular Zoom calls keep us connected, but thanks to our flexible work schedules we dedicate at least a month each summer to visit everyone, introducing our daughter, Eliana (and our future child), to different cultures, cuisines, languages, and celebrations. Despite our diverse and dispersed family, we're a tight-knit bunch. From festive birthdays to large Thanksgiving extravaganzas, from lighting menorahs at Chanukah to joining in on Christmas festivities, we really enjoy being together. It's not surprising that we've felt nothing but love, support, and excitement from our family as we've started our adoption journey.
Our House and Neighborhood
We live in the Gateway to the West, St. Louis, Missouri. Our two-story, red brick home has an open floor plan with lots of light, tall ceilings, exposed brick, and incredible picture windows that overlook a tall magnolia tree in our front yard. It's the perfect setup for colorful art projects, elaborate pillow forts, spontaneous dance "parties", and living room picnics. We often have friends and family gathered around the kitchen island or sipping a cold drink in the fenced-in backyard. Each room is filled with art and photos from our travels, but our most cherished space is our daughter's bedroom, which we decorated by hand with the help of our extended family and close friends. You walk in and feel the love!
Our favorite park is just one block away: 300 acres of outdoor fun! We spend a lot of time there, walking our dog, playing at one of the two large playgrounds, picnicking at the weekly farmer's market, meeting friends for Food Truck Fridays, and feeding the ducks in the lily pad pond. We're also within walking distance of shops, restaurants, libraries, the local elementary school, a botanical garden, and most importantly, our favorite ice cream joint! It's a diverse, vibrant neighborhood, full of growing families and people of different ages and backgrounds. Neighbors stop to say hello, walk their dogs at all hours, take pride in their gardens, and love to go all out with decorations during the holidays. It's a great place to live and raise our family!
From Us to You
We don’t know where you are at the moment or what you must be going through, but we hope this letter finds you well and surrounded by love and support. We admire your strength, courage, and selflessness in considering adoption for your child. Your decision is a testament to the depth of your love and the sacrifices you’re willing to make to give your child the best life. We’re deeply honored by the prospect of joining you on this journey.
As we sit down to write this letter, our hearts are filled with hope, anticipation, and a profound sense of gratitude for the possibility of welcoming another child into our lives. We are already parents to our beautiful daughter, Eliana, and our experience of parenthood has been nothing short of miraculous. From the moment we held Eliana in our arms, we knew that our hearts had expanded in ways we never thought possible…and our love for her continues to grow with each passing day.
Our journey to parenthood has been marked by its own set of challenges and uncertainties. We decided early in our relationship that we wanted two children, and that - no matter what life threw at us - at least one of those children would be adopted. You see, the decision to adopt is one we've long felt drawn to. We’ve never defined family by biology, and the opportunity to share our good fortune with a child is a privilege we cherish and do not take lightly. As parents, we believe in providing a nurturing environment where children feel valued, seen, and empowered to explore the world around them. Our approach to parenthood, therefore, centers around love, kindness, and stability. We work hard to model compassion, foster curiosity, and encourage empathy for all people and all backgrounds.
Our relationship is a demonstration of our values and evidence of the power of true partnership. We’ve been married for five years and have faced many trials and tribulations during that time - some as big as the global pandemic and some as personal as starting two new businesses. Through it all, we have approached every day as a team, dodging each curve ball together with resilience and unwavering support. As a result, we’ve built a life that is filled with love, laughter, and an overwhelming feeling that we can overcome any challenge thrown our way. It is a life that is grounded in gratitude, hard work, friendship, and fun! Our home is a warm and inviting space where we gather with friends and family, share meals, and create memories. Our neighborhood is vibrant and diverse, reflecting the values of inclusivity and community that we hold dear. And our friends and families, who span across continents, enrich our lives with stories of travel, culture, and tradition.
Having said all of that, we want you to know that if you choose us as parents for your child, we promise to provide a stable and loving home where your child can flourish and grow into the wonderful individual they are meant to be. They will never question their identity and will feel loved, cherished, and celebrated every day. Furthermore, we believe that open communication and mutual respect are essential in building a strong and trusting relationship. We are eager to share pictures, letters, and emails, as well as set up phone calls and in-person visits. We are fully committed to maintaining an open and honest relationship, honoring your wishes and preferences to stay connected every step of the way.
We want to thank you, again, for considering us as potential parents for your child. We are humbled by the opportunity and excited for the journey ahead.
With warmest regards,
Paul & Jessica
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