Things to Consider

Why do some pregnant women choose adoption?

• Most women who choose adoption are putting their baby's needs ahead of their own.
• They are looking to give their child everything they are not able to provide their child.
• Most women want a two-parent home for their child, so their child has a dad who wants to be involved.
• They want their child to be able to go to college and not struggle to have the basic comforts of life.
• They want their child to have an extended family who can provide a good, supportive, healthy family for their child.
• They want their child to grow up in a great environment and with loving parents who are ready to become parents.
• Many women realize their current situation is not the best for their child. They could struggle and maybe make it through life but they realize that isn't what is best for their child.
• Many women want to get their child out of an abusive or negligent environment.
• Many women don't want their child to go to state foster care and want their child to be able to start out with a new and better life.
• Many women realize their limitations and don't want their child to experience the same type of life. They want a better life for their child.
• Many women don't want to try and raise a child with the birth father, they realize all of the challenges and difficulties they and their child will face. Many birth fathers are not supportive financially, too controlling, or say they will be involved but don't follow through, etc.
• Sometimes the relationship between the birth father and birth mother is very poor and always has been. Most pregnant women realize that zebras rarely change their stripes and therefore don't fall for false promises from the birth fathers who often claim to have changed their ways. These pregnant women know their child will be better off with a mom and dad who want to be together and who want to be a mom and dad.
• Many women don't want their child subjected to alcohol or drug abuse from either themselves or the birth father.

What kind of adoption do I desire?

• Do you want a closed, semi-open or open adoption?
• Do you want to meet the adoptive family?
• Would you like to participate in conference call with the family?
• After the adoption, would you like updates on how your child is progressing?
• After the adoption, would you want to receive letters?
• Do you want the adoptive family to be with you at the hospital?

What kind of mom and dad do you want for your baby?

• Is religion is important to you?
• Does age matter?
• Years married?
• Personality traits: would you prefer something in particular?
• Physical traits: are there certain things that are important?
• Is their job(s) important to you?
• Do you want one parent to stay at home?
• Do you want a family from the country, big city or beach community?
• Do you want to know about their extended families?

Further questions to ask yourself:

• Have you shared your adoption plans with anyone?
• If yes, how do they feel about it?
• Is anyone not supportive of your adoption plans? How important are their opinions? Do you need help educating these people or at least be given strategies to minimize their affect on your feelings?
• Have you thought about what is best for your baby? Have you thought about how bright your child's future can be through adoption?
• Have you thought about your future goals?
• Do you have other children already? If yes, you need to consider that by choosing adoption you will have more time, energy, and resources to devote to them.
• Is the birth father supportive or is he out of the picture?