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The Advantages and Disadvantages of an Unplanned Pregnancy

Becoming pregnant, especially if you weren’t planning to expand your family, can be a whirlwind of emotions. It’s normal to experience shock, fear, confusion, sadness and even anger — but while it can be easy to focus on the disadvantages of unplanned pregnancy, there are also many positives that can come out of this situation.

As you come to terms with your unplanned pregnancy and consider your options moving forward, here are some of the potential benefits and challenges you might face.

The Surprising Pros of Being Pregnant Unexpectedly

There are many, many women who love being pregnant. The glow, the changes in your body, the sense of growing another human inside of you — it can be a magical experience. However, if you weren’t planning to become pregnant and you aren’t sure you want to parent your child, the benefits of being pregnant can seem hard to identify.

The truth is, there may not seem to be many pros of pregnancy when this isn’t something you planned for or wanted. However, even if you decide you’re not ready to parent this baby, you can still make the best of your situation and do something incredibly positive by choosing adoption.

For someone considering adoption, the pros of being pregnant are limitless:

  • You get to provide a loving family with a long-awaited child. Many families who choose to adopt have struggled for years with infertility and grief as they tried to conceive a child on their own, but sadly, not everyone can physically become pregnant. You’ll get to choose a family you respect and admire to raise your child, and you’ll get to know how much you are helping them to achieve a dream. It can be an amazing feeling.

  • You get to provide your child with a safe, loving and prepared home. If you don’t feel that you’re ready to become a parent, the best thing you can do for a child is to place them in a home that is well-equipped for them. By choosing adoption, you are ensuring that your child gets enough love, resources, and opportunities to have the happiest and healthiest life imaginable. 

  • You get to maintain a relationship with your child without becoming a parent in the traditional sense. By choosing an open adoption, you can remain in your child’s life and develop a relationship with them as well as their adoptive family. You can exchange updates via text messages, emails, phone calls, in-person meetings and more — whatever methods of communication you and the adoptive parents are comfortable with. You’ll never have to wonder how your baby is doing, because you’ll be able to see for yourself. This also gives your child access to you, so he or she will never have to fear that they weren’t wanted or that you aren’t doing well. They’ll understand exactly how much love it took for you to choose adoption for them.

  • You don’t have to choose abortion. Some women feel very strongly about not pursuing abortion but aren’t necessarily ready to parent a baby either. If that describes your situation, adoption can be a great way to provide a wonderful life for your baby without taking on the responsibilities of parenting before you feel completely ready to do so.

  • You can learn and grow from your unplanned pregnancy experience. Regardless of which unplanned pregnancy option you ultimately decide to pursue, an unplanned pregnancy can bring a sense of clarity. You’ll ask yourself questions about your priorities, about what you want in life, and more. It can be illuminating — and if you choose adoption, you will inevitably achieve a greater sense of maturity and selflessness.

It can be hard to look at the silver lining sometimes, but we believe that when you choose adoption, there really are more pros of being pregnant than problems associated with unwanted pregnancy. However, we’d be remiss if we didn’t acknowledge the disadvantages of an unplanned pregnancy as well.

The Disadvantages of an Unplanned Pregnancy

The problems associated with an unwanted pregnancy depend mostly on perspective, but many women find themselves feeling negative about facts like the following.

  • Becoming unexpectedly pregnant means you’re faced with a big decision. When you become pregnant, you will ultimately have to choose between parenting, abortion or adoption. This can be a stressful choice for many women.

  • Becoming unexpectedly pregnant may necessitate a change in lifestyle. If you are frequently going out and partaking in alcohol or drug usage, this is something that will have to stop if you become pregnant. This could mean separating yourself from places and people that influence you to do these things, which can mean a big change if you’re spending a lot of time in that environment.

  • Being pregnant can be physically exhausting. While some women love the feeling of being pregnant and the changes it brings to their bodies, other women find the physical aspects of pregnancy a little less enjoyable. You may experience morning sickness and fatigue, in addition to other more serious conditions.

  • Pregnancy can be an emotional journey. If you weren’t planning to become pregnant, it’s likely that you’ll experience many emotions in the wake of discovering your pregnancy. You may feel shock, anger, fear and depression, amongst other emotions. This is normal and, if properly acknowledged, can grow into a positive experience accompanied by growth and happiness, but it can be extremely jarring at first.

At American Adoptions, we hope to be able to work with you to help you through any disadvantages of unplanned pregnancy that are bothering you, in addition to helping you come to appreciate the pros of being pregnant and choosing adoption for your baby. To learn more about the pros of pregnancy or to work through some of the problems associated with unwanted pregnancy, please don’t hesitate to contact us at 1-800-ADOPTION.

Disclaimer
Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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