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"The Hardest and Best Decision" - How Tonya Has No Regrets About Adoption

Tonya is a brave birth mother who chose adoption to give her baby a life full of love and opportunities. If you feel inspired by her story, contact us today or call 1-800-ADOPTION to get free information about the adoption process. 

How could I give up a child that I carried for nine months and gave birth to? What would my baby think of me as she got older? These are some of the questions I was asking myself as I was trying to make the hardest and best decision of my life.

As I thought long and hard about my decision, paced the floors and had long talks with loved ones, I came to the decision that adoption was the best route for me to take. Because, if I kept her, I thought I’d feel some remorse toward her just because of her father. If I chose abortion, I would have to live with the fact that I killed an innocent child that had every right to live. So adoption was the way to go, but it was going to be a long, hard road.

I started out by calling American Adoptions to get information. As I began looking into the adoption process, I started feeling good about my decision. I started looking through all of the profiles and I came across one that I knew I’d love. They had previously adopted their son, and I think what turned me to them was the fact that I was having a girl. I’ve always wanted the “big brother” environment, and now I knew it was possible for my baby girl.

The first time I spoke with them over the phone, I knew I was making the best decision. This family made me feel loved, and I knew they would give my baby girl the best life possible.

On April 24, I was called into labor and delivery because the baby didn’t have enough amniotic fluid and she hadn’t been growing the way she should have been. My doctor decided to induce labor, and Olivia was born on April 25, 2007. A day I will never forget!

About two hours later, Patty (new mom) arrived at the hospital. As she walked in, she brightened up the room with her beautiful smile and very loving, outgoing personality. It was like I was reconnecting with a long lost friend. I knew then that God was with me and I was making a decision I wouldn’t regret.

When I handed my little girl over to her new mom, I didn’t have any second thoughts. I knew I was doing what was best for the both of us. After leaving the hospital, I had a few down moments, but I knew deep down that she was going to have so many opportunities in life that I couldn’t have provided. After hanging out and having lunch with Mark, Patty, Nicholas and Olivia, I was able to get closure.

I can honestly say I have no regrets dealing with this whole process. I encourage any young woman to not look over adoption as an option because it might just be the best decision you’ve ever made.

I had such a great experience working with American Adoptions. I absolutely love that they are always there and willing to help anytime if you need it. As for the family I chose, I love and cherish them very much. I am glad to say that I made them “whole.”

Ready to find out what adoption can do for you and your baby? Contact us today at 1-800-ADOPTION to get free information and support. 

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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