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“What does adoption mean to a child?”

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What if I Don't Want My Baby, But I Don't Want an Abortion?

Why Adoption May Be the Best Choice for You

An unplanned pregnancy is a situation that no woman ever imagines herself to be in. It’s a circumstance that can cause you to re-evaluate your whole life because, whichever decision you make, it will be one that affects you forever.

Often, women who are pregnant automatically think of two options: parenting and abortion. But, what if you’re thinking, “I don’t want my baby, but I don’t want an abortion”?

You always have a third option: placing your child for adoption.

Adoption is a beautiful, selfless choice that you can make for your child. In choosing to give birth to them, you give them an opportunity at life — a life with parents who are prepared to give your son or daughter the best opportunities and the most love possible.  Adoption can be an incredibly positive thing that comes from a less-than-positive situation, if you are brave enough to make this choice for you and your child.

Choosing how to proceed with your unplanned pregnancy is a big decision to make — but, if you are thinking, “I don’t want my baby, but I don’t want an abortion,” adoption may be the best choice for you. To learn more about this process, we encourage you to talk to an adoption specialist for free at 1-800-ADOPTION today.

“I Don’t Want to Be Pregnant, But I Don’t Want an Abortion”

No matter their situation, women facing an unplanned pregnancy have a dilemma: They have found themselves pregnant, even though they had no desire to be at this period in their lives. In this situation, a woman may have one thought repeating itself in her head: “I don’t want to be pregnant, but I don’t want an abortion.”

We know that facing an unplanned pregnancy is hard, but focusing on your desire not to be pregnant can make it even harder. Denial is normal when you first find out you are pregnant but, once you do, it’s important to accept your situation to move forward in a productive way. Ruminating on the idea that you don’t want to be pregnant won’t change your situation, especially if you are against an abortion; it will just make it harder for you to decide what to do next.

In order to move forward, you will need to accept your pregnancy — as well as any other difficult feelings you may have about your situation. If you don’t want an abortion, you must accept that you will need to carry this pregnancy to term. There is no other way to avoid being pregnant after conception than an abortion. Therefore, if you are thinking, “I don’t want to be pregnant, but I don’t want an abortion,” you will need to decide between your two options: parenting and adoption. For guidance in this decision, you can always contact our adoption specialists for professional counseling.

“What if I Don’t Want My Baby, But I Don’t Want an Abortion?”

Once you have accepted your unplanned pregnancy, you will need to decide what to do next. If you are thinking, “I don’t want my baby, but I don’t want an abortion,” we encourage you to consider placing your child for adoption. Although you will carry your pregnancy to term with this decision, it is a selfless one that will give you and your child the best opportunities in life moving forward.

If you don’t want your baby, but you don’t want an abortion, adoption may seem like the natural decision moving forward. However, it’s one that should only be made after you seriously consider your feelings and your situation. Adoption is a life-changing decision, and it will impact both your and your child’s life for years to come.

Before you determine that you really do not wish to raise your child, consider asking yourself these questions:

  • Can I financially provide for my child?

  • Will my child have a supportive father figure in his life?

  • Will I have time to properly care for a child?

  • What are my future goals and aspirations?

  • Am I ready to be a parent?

You may also consider the fact that you are experiencing antenatal depression. Like postpartum depression, this condition can affect your mental state, including your feelings toward your child. Before making any big decision, think about reaching out to an unplanned pregnancy options counselor or a therapist for help determining the root of your emotions — and the best path for you moving forward.

Create Your Adoption Plan Today

Whether you are ready to start your adoption journey today, or you have more questions about choosing adoption for your child, know that the counselors at American Adoptions are here to help. Our specialists are trained in providing unbiased, helpful unplanned pregnancy advice, and we can answer all of your questions about your options moving forward.

If you are thinking, “I don’t want my baby, but I don’t want an abortion,” remember that you do have options. Ultimately, you are the only one who can decide which path is best for you, so proper research and understanding of your options is critical to making the right decision. You are never obligated to choose adoption by contacting our agency, and you always retain the right to change your mind until signing your adoption consent after your baby’s birth.

To learn more about adoption, please contact our specialists for free at 1-800-ADOPTION today.

Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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