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What If I Don't Want My Baby, But I Don't Want an Abortion?

Making the Best Unplanned Pregnancy Decision for You

If you’ve found out you’re unexpectedly pregnant and are thinking, “I don’t want to be pregnant, but I don’t want an abortion,” you can breathe a sigh of relief because adoption is an unplanned pregnancy option that can positively impact you, your child and a hopeful adoptive couple dreaming of growing their family. 

You are not alone in experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. Many women become pregnant and because of complex circumstances in life, future educational or career goals, or whatever other reasons, parenting simply isn’t an option. 

Often, women who are pregnant automatically think of two options: parenting and abortion. But what if you’re thinking, “I don’t want my baby, but I don’t want an abortion”? 

You always have a third option: placing your child for adoption

Adoption is a beautiful, selfless choice that you can make for your child. In choosing to give birth to them, you give them an opportunity at life — a life with parents who are prepared to give your son or daughter the best opportunities and the most love possible.   

Choosing how to proceed with your unplanned pregnancy is a big decision to make — but, if you are thinking, “I don’t want my baby, but I don’t want an abortion,” adoption may be the best choice for you. To learn more about this process, you to talk to an adoption specialist for free at 1-800-ADOPTION today or visit us online to get more information. For prospective adoptive families, you can get more information by completing our online form

“I Don’t Want to Be Pregnant, But I Don’t Want an Abortion” 

You have found out you’re pregnant, even though you have no desire to be at this period in your life. In this situation, you might have one thought in your mind: “I don’t want to be pregnant, but I don’t want an abortion.” Thankfully, adoption is an option for you no matter the circumstances.  

Once you have accepted your unplanned pregnancy, you will need to decide what to do next. If you are thinking, “I don’t want my baby, but I don’t want an abortion,” we encourage you to consider placing your child for adoption. Adoption is a selfless decision that will give you and your child the best opportunities in life moving forward, and it will give an adoptive family the chance to live out their dream of growing a family. This makes you a hero

Candice didn’t want an abortion, even though her husband did. Ultimately, they chose adoption.

“I became pregnant at the worst possible time of my life. My husband and I were separated. He wanted me to have an abortion, and I couldn’t bring myself to do that. I talked with him about adoption and he agreed,” she said. “With having three kids already, I know what I needed to do. They [the adoptive family] deserve a beautiful family, and I am so happy they trusted me to give them that.”

If you don’t want your baby, but you don’t want an abortion, adoption may seem like the natural decision moving forward. Adoption is a life-changing decision, and it will impact both your and your child’s life for years to come. 

Are you ready to create your adoption plan? 

Whether you are ready to start your adoption journey today, or you have more questions about choosing adoption for your child, know that the counselors at American Adoptions are here to help. Our specialists are trained in providing unbiased, helpful unplanned pregnancy advice, and we can answer all of your questions about your options moving forward. 

Our agency is comprised of experienced professionals, many of whom are adoptees, adoptive parents, or birth parents. Because of our first-hand experience with adoption, we can ensure that your adoption journey is safe, smooth and tailored to your specific needs.  

Adoption is a decision that can change the lives of everyone involved. No one knows this better than Scott Mars, founder of American Adoptions, and an adoptee himself.   

“My mom and dad were a couple who weren’t able to become a mom and dad without adoption. Of all people in this world, my mom and dad deserve to be parents. And without adoption, they would not have been able to share their love, share their life, and give someone the life that I had.       

“Because of adoption, my life was filled with love and opportunity.”  You can watch Scott’s video to see his entire adoption story.    

Some of our support services include: 

  • 24/7 counseling giving you access to support when you need it.
  • An adoption plan specific to your needs and what you want for your child. 
  • A national presence that gives you access to available adoptive families from around the country. 
  • Potential financial assistance for pregnancy-related living expenses to help alleviate concerns over costs during your pregnancy.
  • Free legal representation to help complete your adoption safely and ethically.
  • Post-placement services
  • And more. 

If you are thinking, “I don’t want my baby, but I don’t want an abortion,” remember that you do have options. Ultimately, you are the only one who can decide which path is best for you.  

Michelle, a birth parent specialist and a birth parent herself, is ready to answer any questions you have about placing your baby for adoption when you don’t want an abortion.          

“I am available to answer any questions that arise, particularly from birth moms, as I have been in your shoes and know how you are feeling,” Michelle said. “It was most helpful to me when I had someone to talk to who would just listen to me without making any judgments or conclusions about who I was as a person.”          

You can ask Michelle questions about the adoption process online. You can also call us at 1-800-ADOPTION, or get free information with our online contact form for prospective birth mothers considering adoption here. Adoptive families wanting more information on adopting a child can click here to get more information. 

Disclaimer
Information available through these links is the sole property of the companies and organizations listed therein. America Adoptions, Inc. provides this information as a courtesy and is in no way responsible for its content or accuracy.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why is American Adoptions the right adoption agency choice for many birth mothers?

American Adoptions is one of the largest licensed adoption agencies in the United States. Each year, we work with thousands of women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy and offer assistance to these women. Our large, caring staff is able to assist you seven days a week and provide you with one-on-one counseling about your pregnancy and available options.

You should choose an adoption agency where you feel completely comfortable with their services and staff. With American Adoptions, you will work with an Adoption Specialist who is on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Adoption Specialist will be your advocate and will provide support and guidance as you create an adoption plan that is right for you.

How will the family tell my child about me and the adoption when my child is older?

Each family has their own style of introducing adoption to the child. When you are matched with an adoptive family, you can ask them this question. If you would like your Adoption Specialist to discuss it for you, just let her know. He or she can share your wishes or provide good ideas from other adoptive families.

You will also be able to share what you want your baby to know about you. You can complete a keepsake booklet to share hobbies, stories, photos of you and your family and a letter to your baby. The adoptive family can provide this to your child as he or she grows older. Be as creative as you like! Some birth mothers have even knitted a special blanket as a gift to their baby or given a similar symbol of their love.

The father of your baby can fill out the birth father's keepsake booklet or write a letter too. You may have other family members who would also like to share photos or a letter to the baby. This is your opportunity to pass on your and your family's love and to share your personality, history and reasons for choosing adoption. The adoptive family will treasure whatever information you provide and will share it with the baby at an appropriate age. In most adoptive homes, the word adoption is in the child's vocabulary early on, and adoption is celebrated in their lives.

Additional Resources

Teen Pregnancy - Information for Young Women

While not every woman who chooses adoption is a young mother, many are. Through adoption, many young women have found an ability to give their babies the best life possible, while finding the opportunity to realize their own dreams, as well. Call American Adoptions today at 1-800-ADOPTION.

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Adoption Glossary

Do adoption terms and phrases leave you feeling confused? Learn the meaning to key adoption words and phrases with our comprehensive adoption glossary.

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